Page 26 of The Holiday Fail

I shrugged. “You won’t understand until you watch it for yourself—which you will be doing as soon as possible,” I stated with a pointed look toward him.

He chuckled. “Oh, I will, will I? And who’s going to make sure that I do?”

“Don’t forget I know where you live. I’ll tie you to the couch if that’s what it takes,” I said, only half joking. I took my favorite filmveryseriously.

“We’re talking kinks already? On the first date? Don’t you think that’s a little presumptuous?” Andy said with a wink.

I knew he was only teasing, but I couldn’t help but think that this was already the best date—no,non-date—that I’d been on in a while.

Maybe Andy was right, and the issuewasthe men I was dating because I’d never been as comfortable on a date as I was now.

The passion was definitely there in my previous dates, but there wasn’t much else besides that. No joking around or teasing banter. Hell, I couldn’t even get them interested in listening to how my day was.

I knew that wasn’t the fault of the generation I was dating, but my own poor choices in picking men. And I was only now realizing that because of Andy’s comment about kinks.

If this was a first date with anyone else, wewouldbe chatting about kinks and what we enjoyed in bed. It was expected, since we both knew where the night would lead.

Then the swirling voice in my head telling me I was only good for my body reared its ugly head. It was hard not to think like that when all my previous dating experiences only supported that fact.

“Hey, are you okay? Did I say something wrong?” Andy asked, hand over mine again. I wondered if he was even aware of the action or if he was just a touchy person in general.

“It’s nothing,” I replied and tried to focus on the heat of his hand instead of the nasty thoughts that only brought me down.

Andy raised a brow at me, giving me a look that told me he could see my bullshit from a mile away. That wasn’t the only thing I noticed about him.

He didn’t sugarcoat things or shy away from things that were difficult. He faced them head-on, kinda like what he’d been challenging me to do with this whole ‘introspective dating thing’.

I blew out a shaky breath and tried to force myself to face the truth, because the way I’d been dating wasn’t how I wanted my foreseeable future to be, so something needed to change. And that change needed to start with my mindset, and maybe talking it through with Andy would be the mind opener I needed.

“It’s just the thing about kinks and first dates,” I said, feeling a little shy now that I was actually going to say the words out loud. “Let’s just say it wasn’t anunusualtopic of conversation for my first dates.”

Andy raised a brow as he looked at me, but there was no judgment in his eyes. He looked at me the way he did when he was assessing something, trying to find out the core of the issue before he spoke.

“I think I see the issue now. The problem is you’re datingjerks. You’ve been nothing but a gentleman this entire time. You’re funny, down to earth, and you care. The only thing you’re doing wrong is picking guys who don’t deserve you,” he said after a minute, and there was no way to stop the nervous laugh that came out of me. He squeezed my hand—because yes, his hand was still hot over mine! “While I’m not saying talking about your preferences isn’t important, because it is, getting to know the person you’re on a date with is important too. And before you say anything,you are worth getting to know.”

His words had all the air leaving my lungs. My insecurities lay out there in the open, and Andy was casually slaying them until I was forced to face the truth of his words.

I didn’t know how to reply when it felt like, for the longest time, these men I’d dated treated me like I was a disposable fucktoy.

I wasn’t usually an insecure person—I had amazing people in my life who always showed how much they loved me for beingme. But theyknewme, and the men whose attention I tried winning had never even bothered totry.

So, here I sat, across from Andy, staring at him because I still hadn’t figured out the right reply to that. Did I thank him? Or tell him that, if my dating history was anything to go by, he was completely wrong.

I didn’t do either of those things and just continued to stare. Andy didn’t seem to mind. He wasn’t the kind of person whofidgeted under someone’s gaze.

He sat up straight, confident, as he bathed under my attention like it was all part of the natural way of things.

Maybe it was for him, because holy hell, was he a handsome one. He had to be popular with the ladies, especially the ones who had a thing for the stern-looking men.

Even with the caring expression he was now shooting myway, his brow was still furrowed in such a crease that I was starting to wonder if it was there permanently.

And his eyes, unwavering as they practically stared right into my soul. He was intense in a way that made me crave more of his attention.

So I stared and stared. Andy looked back, patiently waiting for my reply…or perhaps he was using this silence to ensure his words sank in. But the words weren’t the only thing that was sinking in.

Hishands.

His hands werestillon mine; hot and burning, drilling in the fact he was still touching me with his magnificent, large hands.

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