Page 30 of The Holiday Disaster

But I knew it would be different with Ethan. He never questioned my choices or made me feel like I was in the wrong if I wasn’t doing what the people around me wanted. He’d never cared about what other people thought of him or put up a front of being someone he wasn’t.

The year before going off to college, my parents had been away on a trip, and so I did what any teenager who had the house to themselves would do. I invited my teammates over to play games and chill.

One of my friends had gotten a bottle of Fireball from his older brother, and being newly graduated boys about to experience college life, everyone was hyped up for a taste of their first adult drink.

My parents allowed me to have sips of wine and beer in the past, and I’d always questioned why people drank that stuff. It tasted bitter, and the burn as it went down my throat wasn’t pleasant.

I’d refused the drink, shrugging it off that I wasn’t in the mood. My friends weren’t having it and kept urging me, telling me that I shouldn’t be a party pooper.

I usually went with the flow, and as I was about to accept the offered drink to get them off my back, Ethan came down the stairs and said, “Drinking alcohol when you’re young can inhibit your growth, you know? It’s not anything cool.”

He’d been over hanging out with Valerie in her room and had come down for a drink of water. He had said those words, grabbed his drink, and calmly went back upstairs like he hadn’t left a crowd of football players twice his size speechless.

My friends grumbled but didn’t dare say anything bad about Ethan since Elliott would kick their asses, and so would I. We had quickly returned to being rowdy teenagers without any parental supervision, but Ethan’s words got them to leave me alone.

So I was certain that if I told him my true thoughts, he wouldn’t judge or make me feel like I was making the wrong choice.

I faced him, and he did the same, his entire focus on me. “I enjoyed playing sports, but I was never passionate about it like Elliott was, you know? I just kinda did it because I was good at it and all my friends were on some kind of sports team as well.”

I searched his eyes, looking for any kind of negative emotion in there, but there was none. His gaze was trained on me as if I were the only thing he saw, and that gave me the courage to continue.

“I don’t really know what I want to do, but Idoknow that I don’t want to play sports professionally. I look so uncool next to you, right? I’m already a junior and I still don’t have my future planned out.”

“Hey, I don’t want to hear that,” Ethan chided. “I think you’re the coolest person ever. I was always a babbling fool when I was around you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned up to kiss my chin.

“That’s not how I remember it. You’ve always had a sharp tongue and were never afraid to voice your disdain of being around me.”

“Tha-that was because…” he stumbled over his words before burying his face into my chest.

I pressed a kiss into his soft hair. “All right, I’ll stop teasing you.”

He looked up again with determination in his eyes. “As I was saying, we’re still young and learning who we are. I don’t think you need to have everything figured out. What’s important is that you’re discovering the things you like.”

“I don’t even know what I like,” I said with a helpless sigh. “Besides you, of course.”

Ethan smiled at my words but nudged my stomach. “I don’t think that’s true,” he said while tilting his head, and my eyes followed his gesture to land on the ice sculpture in front of us. The two men were enjoying the sport. The teacher and student.

“You always stayed late after practice to help your teammates and even spent your free weekends volunteering at our local youth soccer team. Even if you don’t want to play sports professionally, it’s obvious you still enjoy it.”

I stared at the statue in a daze for a few more moments before turning to Ethan. “I didn’t know you paid that much attention to me back then,” I said with a grin.

“I thought you said you’d stop teasing me tonight,” he grumbled but had a smile on his face. I laughed as I pulled him closer. “I love how you see things, how you see me.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but I swallowed his words with a kiss that held all the bottled up emotions I’d kept hidden over these years.

I was the most popular kid in school and liked by everyone. But the freedom the popularity gave me had ultimately made me lose myself, trapped under the mask that had been formed from how others viewed me.

No one saw the real me, and I’d forgotten how to be myself. The only one who saw past the front I put up was Ethan. He always had.

Ethan chased my lips when I pulled away, and I leaned in for one more peck before stepping back. I grabbed his hand and used my other to reach out to the ticket container to drop my red ticket inside.

“You’re right. And it’s time I stopped denying the things I want,” I whispered into the wind.

I still had a lot that I needed to figure out for my future, but it was time to stop being afraid of how others viewed my choices and started following my heart. And the first thing I wanted was the amazing man who saw the real me even when I couldn’t.

I clasped his hand tighter like I was afraid he would slip away if I didn’t. Like hell I’d let that happen. I wasn’t ever going to let him escape again.

TWENTY

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