Page 12 of The Holiday Disaster

“It’s actually full of textbooks? I was just kidding about that. I can’t believe you didn’t bring a single article of clothing,” I mused as I turned to my own suitcase.

“I didn’t think I’d need any since I was going home. I have plenty of things to wear there, but obviously I don’t have anything now.” I could hear the bitterness in his voice as I ruffled through my luggage to pull out a t-shirt and gym shorts.

“Here, you’ll have to make do with these tonight. We’ll get you some underwear and clothes that actually fit you tomorrow,” I said, throwing the clothes at him.

“Thanks,” he said with his head down and looking more bashful than I’d ever seen him before.

“You’re welcome. Now hurry up so I can use the bathroom. I’m beat.” I waved him off and pretended to look for something in my suitcase so that he didn’t see the wide smile that was pasted on my face.

I looked up again when I heard the click of the door closing, then fell on my back, laughing up into the ceiling. It was so like Ethan to pack a suitcase of nothing but textbooks. He always did love his books. Even when he was a child, he would run around carrying one picture book or another that usually featured animals, of course.

The door opened again, and Ethan’s head popped out of the bathroom. The rest of his body was still covered by the door as he gave me a firm look. “Don’t you dare laugh,” he grumbled with a finger pointed at me.

I flipped over to sit with my legs crossed while facing him. “Promise,” I said with a smile. He appraised me for a few seconds before slowly opening the door and stepping back out into the bedroom. My shirt engulfed him and my gym shorts hung low down to his knees.

“Don’t you have anything smaller?” he grumbled, his hand holding the waistband of the gym shorts like they could fall down at any moment.

“Not unless you want to wear my boxers?” I raised an eyebrow in challenge. I knew he wouldn’t do it. Even I thought sharing underwear between friends was a little too much, but there was no harm in teasing him.

I glanced back down to where his hands were gripping the waistband. I liked seeing him wear my clothes, but they mostly looked ridiculous on him. I bit my fist to stop the laugh that was bubbling in my chest since I did promise him, after all. Even with my best effort, I couldn’t stop the tiny chuckle that escaped.

“You promised!” Ethan rushed forward, grabbed a pillow from the bed beside us, and flung it over his head as he aimed at me. I brought my arms up to block the incoming attack.

“You liar!”he screamed as he continued slapping the pillow against me. His movements were exaggerated but the blows didn’t hurt. All it did was break the last hold I had, and my laughter rang out amidst each of the hits and Ethan’s curses.

Each time the pillow struck, I would recline a bit more until my back was flush to the ground and Ethan was straddling my stomach. My hand naturally looped around his waist, holding him so he didn’t fall. Or at least that was what I was telling myself.

Ethan’s face was flushed with anger, his eyes narrowed but relaxed with each strike as he vented his frustrations with the pillow. When he finally stopped, he was puffing out air as he gazed down at me. The pillow landed on my chest with his hands on top of them.

I tightened my grip on his waist, which only made his brows furrow for a different reason this time. I could see the conflict in his eyes tinged with some confusion.

Our positions were ambiguous, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I was done denying my attraction to him. I’d felt this pull to Ethan ever since the first time I saw him peeking at me with those doe eyes from behind Elliott’s back when we met. I didn’t know how to bridge the distance between us when we were kids, but now things were different. We were both adults, and I’d like to think I was a little more in tune with my feelings and communicating them.

“Ethan.” My voice was barely a whisper but contained all the pent up emotions that I’d tried to bury for all these years. “I want you,” I said as I slid one hand up his spine. He shivered at my touch and didn’t stop until my hand landed at the back of his neck.

“But…you’re straight,” he said, and I wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince me or himself. I chuckled and played with the soft hairs at his nape. His eyes rolled back in a shiver, letting the sexy mole on his eyelid peak out.

“Actually, I’m bi,” I said with a smirk. I wasn’t in the closet, and I thought everyone around me was already aware of my sexuality, but apparently not, judging by Ethan’s reaction. It made sense since I’d already been away at college when I realized I was bi, and with how Ethan seemed to have wanted nothing to do with me, he wasn’t likely to grill Elliott with questions about me.

His eyes popped open to gaze down at me. “Oh,” was all he said, this time his eyes flicking to my lips. I slowly slid my tongue across my lower lip. His eyes tracked my movements, and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped. He nibbled on his bottom lip. My hold on his nape tightened.

“I want to kiss you,” I said as I applied light pressure with my hand. His eyes were still wide in shock, but he didn’t resist as I slowly guided his head down to meet mine. With each shift downward, his eyelids also languidly shut. By the time his lips were inches from mine, his eyes were fully closed, and I could see movement behind those lids like he was anticipating the kiss as much as I was.

I didn’t have a habit of holding back, and I desperately wanted a taste of his lips, especially after our perfect moment had been interrupted earlier that night. I tugged him down the rest of the way and closed my eyes in preparation for the softness of his lips that I was sure to feel.

That was when the chorus of “Swallowtail Butterfly” sung by the Taiwanese band Mayday blasted in the room. Both mine and Ethan’s eyes popped open. Ethan shot up out of my arms as he scrambled to dig his phone out of his coat pocket that was thrown on the sofa by the door.

I didn’t understand much Mandarin, but I knew the chorus of that song by heart considering how much Ethan played it. He loved the song so much he even made it his phone’s ringtone.

The smooth voice of the vocalist sang of being so obsessed with someone that they had become their everything. Like a swallowtail butterfly drawn to a flame, and despite knowing they would burn to ashes, they still embraced the beautiful dream in their last moments before their death.

“Hey, Mom,” Ethan said when he answered. The song cut off as the butterfly lived its last dream. “What? I’m not out of breath. I-I just got out of the shower.” The last of his words were muffled behind the click of the bathroom door being closed.

I continued laying on the carpeted floor and brought an arm up to cover my eyes. I was that butterfly. The phone was the wake-up call that saved me before it was too late and I was burned. But there was no relief, only disappointment at the interruption. I wanted to taste the flames even if it meant my downfall because I couldn’t recall all the reasons why I shouldn’t want him.

Besides being cockblocked once again tonight, the call was a good reminder that perhaps it was best not to rush things. Slow and steady won the race, right?

I leaned on my elbows to stare at the closed bathroom door, plotting my next move. I’d show him that this butterfly wouldn’t burn from the heat. I’d win it over, capturing it and making it completely mine. I licked my lips to taste what had almost been. Next time for sure I wouldn’t let the chance slip away again.

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