Page 41 of Buried Secret 295

My lips form into a tight line. I’m not ready for another person to call me a liar. It’s not something I am looking forward to or want to happen. Yet here I am, pulling my t-shirt sleeve up, revealing my mangled shoulder to her. She sucks in a breath, and her fingers reach up to touch the teeth marks. Her fingers trace the scar as if she is ensuring it’s real. “First-hand experience, I learned from my mistakes.”

When I look up at her, she has tears in her eyes, and she sucks in another breath. She quickly blinks her tears away. “If you ever need help with your studies, my door is open. I would love to get your perspective, too.”

Emotion has me blinking back tears. I assumed the worst, and here I am feeling seen. “I appreciate that. Have a good weekend.” I bolt out of the room, not wanting her eyes on me anymore. My current mission is to get back to the cabin without delay. Ineed to lie low; just because we had a victory today doesn’t mean trouble still can’t find me.

Today has been too much for me. My interaction with Lulu was bad enough, but feeling all the hate and disgust from everyone as they sided with Lulu made it way worse. I knew this would be hard, but I didn’t think I would have to fight this hard from day one. I feel like I’m on an island of one.

My beast, feeling my vulnerability, is pressing forward. I feel her taking over my vision. Please. I plead with her, needing her to hear me.Let me stash my stuff somewhere safe. Don’t let us be even more vulnerable. She listens but remains ready to take over, waiting for the green light.

Can you still function when she takes over?I question my shadows. Why haven’t I asked this before? Now, I feel my panic take over. My beast scares me so much that I don’t trust myself to let her free. Now, she threatens to take over, and I am left scrambling at the seams.We can try.

I shake my head. We can’t try.Reach out to Constantine. Tell him he should find me if he doesn’t hear from me in 24 hours.They leave my body, and with them gone, she is now looking through my eyes, moving at a scary pace. Most people don’t move like animals are about to bust out of them. It probably looks like I am about to have explosive diarrhea. Maybe that will keep people from bothering me. “Salem!” I hear Gage yell from the picnic tables. The smell of him and pizza appeals to her, but a smoky marshmallow whiskey smell stops her. I sniff at the air, trying to locate the scent. We want to burrow into that smell and have it surround us. That smell is home and safety.

Gage approaches, but I can’t let him distract me as my eyes look around. The smell is close, and I need it. “Hey! I was getting worried about you.” He must see my eyes. “Um, are you okay?” My animal likes him, so she doesn’t growl at him, but gives him a nod. That’s when we see him.

Red eyes glow in my direction, and I walk towards them like a zombie, not breaking eye contact. The man is enormous. He has his tattooed arms crossed, and his lips quirk upwards slightly. His dark hair almost falls into his eyes as he tilts his head, almost as if he is curious about what I am about to do. The bag I worried about storing is now dead weight, holding me back. I drop it to the ground, and my body starts to shift, but then stays in my standard form. He licks his lips and motions with two fingers to come to him. “Come here, pretty girl.” I practically prance over to the voice, and he opens his arms, and I leap, jumping into his arms.

“Mine,” I tell him before tilting my head, my eyes blinking from my animals to my own. “What is happening?” I stare into his red eyes, knowing it’s his beast looking at me. He is beautiful, and he’s mine. I am certain that I am right, but that doesn’t make it any less terrifying. My fingers push his hair back from his eyes. He pulls away, and I frown and growl at him. “Mine.”

“Yours.” He nods as he sets me down on the ground. “Shift.” My beast comes forward, and this shift doesn’t hurt. She tilts our head to study his face, waiting for his beast to appear. “Beautiful Midnight Beast.”

My tail wags. He knows what we are, but how, I do not know. It’s not like I can ask him right now. All she cares about is how our mate is perfect. The next second, I take off into the woods, daring him to catch me. He must prove himself if he is my mate; we know he will. We don’t even have to turn our heads to look to see that he is following us. He loves the chase, and we will give him one to remember.

Chapter thirty-one

Fuck this week. It’sbeen hell, and I haven’t slept. After I left Salem, I found out Atticus had been looking for me. That's when I found out about my parents losing Leo the night before. There is so much that I don't know. I am so sick of being lied to by the people who are supposed to love me most in this world. I feel embarrassed about not knowing. The lack of trust hurts, and I am at the point where I don’t know what to believe.

When I contacted my parents, they acted like nothing was wrong. Anytime I ask them about Leo, they brush me off. They tell me that Leo is already at Fae’s Edge, yet there is no record of him being there. I had Atticus check. The security is a joke at Fae’s Edge. It kills me because I cannot act like anything is wrong. I don't want them to know that I know something is wrong. I have to find him before they do. It’s not that I don’t believe Atticus, but part of me wants to believe my parents.

It’s hard for me to pretend they care for Leo. When he became an inconvenience, they got rid of him. Every part of me has been trying to be good enough to earn their love and not be tossed away. They have done it to one kid, and I am all they have left. My mother likes to remind me of that constantly.

What is wrong with me? I am 21 years old and still need to hide who I am. Every move I make, I am scared that my family will cut me off. I am taking any tiny scraps of love and affection they hand me. All the while, I pretend it doesn't kill me.

Every part of me wants to belong, have love, be seen, and have someone think I am enough. I thought I had that with Salem. Since Salem has been gone, my skin has felt too tight and crawling simultaneously. When I last saw her, I thought maybe I could feel that peace and a bit of joy that I had when I left her. Every day I have been away from her, it's worsening.

Today has brought a new twist of a knife. I feel such anguish watching the girl that I am obsessed with locking eyes with her mate. My heart feels like it’s being shredded, and I can do nothing to stop it. Her mate is someone I love like a brother. I feel so sick that I’ve fallen for my best friend's mate. On top of it, I had sex with my friend’s mate. Not just sex, because that felt like so much more than sex. I connected on a level I didn’t know existed. Every part of me thought she belonged with me.

Now, I feel like a massive asshole because I can’t even be happy for them. My every thought is screaming, why not me? I suppose casters didn’t have mates like shifters, in that sense. If your magic hums around them, it’s the one. And my magic hummed, damnit! Every part of her pulled me to her. It feels like any happiness ran off as soon as she left my sight.

Now, I watch helplessly as Knox shifts and chases after her. She is even beautiful in beast mode. My body sways, as if standing is almost too much for me—aching, longing, and self-loathing. My ears ring as I swallow back the tears that try toescape. This empty rawness spreads throughout my body, and I must stand here and act like nothing's wrong. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t happy they found their person? I would be a monster. I am a monster. A monster that nobody wants.

Salem deserves the best, and Knox is one of the best people I know. He will keep her safe, even if she doesn’t need anyone to protect her. She would kick my ass for even thinking that. How am I supposed to act around them? Can I even be around them? At this moment, I know I can’t. I don’t even think I can be here at the Academy. The thought of seeing them together makes me brace myself on the table beside me.

I don’t even hear Atticus approach me. He taps me on the shoulder, and his head tilts, looking at me with concern. I know he can feel my emotions as if they are his own. His mouth is moving, but I can’t make out the words he is saying. The ringing in my ears kept me from focusing. Instead, I shake my head at him, and he steps back.

My fingers reach up to touch my neck, where Salem’s teeth marks from the first time she bit me are. They have left a scar. I have a cloaking spell over them because I wanted to discuss it with her. I’ve tried healing it, but it has been no use. It hasn’t even faded a little. I thought maybe it was a sign—something that said she claimed me, that I was special and hers. I’m not too proud to be claimed. All I felt was downright proud. I belonged, and I hoped she would be my family.

How wrong was I? I feel so stupid. Why did I think something like that could happen to me? Life isn’t a fairytale, and I don’t get to have a happily ever after with Salem. It’s time for me to accept that, but it hurts too bad to accept it right now. I feel like I am in mourning that I have lost a mate that never belonged to me. No, she belongs with Knox. I feel like I have betrayed him on a levelI don’t think we will return from. Not only on his end, but mine as well.

My brother is missing. Now, I am going to lose Knox. How can I look at him? Knowing I have lost part of myself to his mate. Salem and I had mind-blowing sex a week ago. She is my every other thought lately when it isn’t on my brother. My grades are dropping, and I can’t focus.

Atticus moves, so he stands in front of me once more. “Are you okay, man?” Atticus just got done telling me my parents are using dogs to find Leo. That time is ticking against us. Now I know that if I don't find Leo, there isn't any stopping them from taking him to Fae's Edge.

My vision keeps going from the woods and now to Atticus. I know his loyalty to Knox. We are friends, but they grew up together and lived in the same house after his mother died. All I can do is shake my head. “I can’t.” It hurts to swallow as I try to make my mouth work properly. “I got to go.” I will move my legs as I back away from him.

He nods. “I’m here if you need me. Stick to the plan for finding Leo. Keep me updated.”

Atticus doesn’t pry into his friends, and I am thankful. I’m not even sure where I am supposed to go. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere right now. Home isn’t an option anymore. It feels like I have nobody to turn to. Maybe I will search for Leo because I need my brother.

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