Page 33 of Buried Secret 295

“I don’t know, but why is your heartbeat so loud?” I scream, tears in my eyes as my hands go to my ears. My skull feels like it’s going to split in half.

“Oh fuck, I’ll be right back.” In a split second, he leaves the room. The pressure in my brain lessens, and my ears no longer feel as if they are bleeding.

Constantine pops in a second later. He dramatically throws open the blinds, and I hiss. He grabs my face between his hands and pulls my eyelids down, looking at my face, trying to find the issue. “Draw the blinds before doing that.” I pull away and bury myself under the covers to get away. His heartbeat isn’t loud like Simon’s.

“What did you eat or drink?” He asks, ignoring the whole closing of the blinds statement. There is an edge to his tone that sounds angry. I list everything I have eaten in the last few days, including my dreams and fears.

Simon must have returned to the room because the noise was back. The smell of him is making me miserable. “Simon, you are too loud! Go away.”

Constantine pulls the covers back and looks at me before kneeling before the bed. “I need you to listen to me carefully. Did you drink blood from anyone else?”

“I don’t think… Well, not really, but I licked the blood off my knuckles from Gage when I kicked his ass. That doesn’t count, though.”

Constantine and Simon look at each other. “Your Midnight Beast has other plans, so I think it counts.” Constantine says, “I know little about them, but I think you need to get your fill before she will move on. I thought your shadows were going to be your dominant trait. It seems like your beast wants to be. Been in contact with family about anything that might help figure out what your powers may be.”

I throw my hand, gesturing at Simon. “Well, then, why does he sound so loud?”

Constantine shrugs before standing, then pushes Simon forward. “Bite him and see if it gets better?”

“I’m not a goddamn juice box, Constantine.” Simon glares at him, but thrusts his wrist towards me before looking away. I hate it, but he refuses to look at me. His fingers shake as he holds his wrist out before making a fist. He hates this, and I did this to him. This is something I have never wanted, to have someone hate the thought of feeding me or having me even touch him. He smells so good, and as much as I want to sink my teeth inside, I can’t do this to him.

There is a part of me that wants him, yet another who is thankful when he isn’t around. I don’t exactly know what is happening, but his acting like me touching him is the worst thing in the world. It makes me cringe, almost to the point of pain. That pain hurts worse than what my head currently does. I smack his hand out of my space, needing him to step back. My self-restraint is only so strong, and he needs to go. I don’t need his pity feed. He doesn’t even look at me as he pushes his wristcloser to my face. My voice turns hard, as if my beast is almost speaking to them. “No! I don’t want to make you a juice box. Take your pity feed and fuck off. I don’t want any part of it.” The lie flows smoothly over my lips. I want the blood, but I can’t have him hate me. That thought almost tailspins me as I slap his wrist back out of the way.

Simon glares at Constantine. “Would you fuck off so we can have a word?”

Constantine tilts his head, and his right eye twitches. He crosses his arms like a petulant child. “I don’t think I am going to. Nope. I am comfortable right here.”

I stop holding my pain back and let it fill up the room, knowing he can feel it. “Dad? Please, I won’t drink from him if he doesn’t want me to.” Whatever he sees on my face makes him let out a huff before he disappears.

Simon sits down on the bed next to me. His head tilts back as he looks up at the ceiling. Letting out a breath like he is exhausted. “I don’t enjoy being ordered around. Especially by him.”

My eyebrow raises at him. “Seriously? You made me feel like shit over something I don’t understand how to control because Constantine likes to poke you.” I throw my covers off and try to stand but collapse, and Simon’s powerful arms wrap around me. Neither of us says a word as I snuggle deeper into him. As loud as his heartbeat is, it’s tolerable when I am wrapped in his arms. It feels like coming home after being gone for a long time. I lay there, feeling his breath against the back of my neck. His spicy cinnamon scent puts me at ease.

“Bite me,” Simon whispers against my ear. His voice is a little shaky and almost unsteady. He pulls me back to look into my eyes. “Please? I think I need this as much as you do.”

He pulls me into his lap like a small child. I am cuddled into his chest and feel the pulse in his neck thumping. My facesnuggles further into the crook of his neck. I give into the ache I am feeling, and we both moan as my teeth break his skin. His hands pull my body closer, and I give in.

I pull myself off his neck and lick my lips, not ready to seal the wound but because I fully intend to bite him once more. My arms go around his neck, and I kiss him with all the passion I am feeling from him. He moans into my mouth before pulling away.

He shakes his hand before they fly up to his neck. Blood trickles between his fingers from the pressure. Simon looks at me with heat blazing in his eyes. Simon shoves me back onto the bed before putting space between us. He shakes his head and looks at me with his eyes narrowing. “Find someone else. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Simon?” I shake the lust out of my head, and it feels like a bubble bursting. “Did I do something wrong?” I move to stand but sit back on the bed when he shakes his head at me. I know I voiced the question, but there is no point answering it because I know that we did something wrong. His emotions and my emotions are confusing. I crossed this line that we had both drawn in the sand. My body and mind have been fighting against each other.

He looks at me with such sadness—or maybe I feel it from the air. His hooded eyes look at me with such softness. He wants to say goodbye, but he must think better of it. With a shake of his head, he says, “No. This is something that is not meant to be.” He looks up at me and purses his lips. “It also cannot be.”

My heart feels like it’s breaking. Although I’ve known this man briefly, he has become my safe space. He was the first person to look at me like I wasn’t a monster. “I am sorry! It was my fault. We can go back to the wrist.” I know I am scrambling and trying to make it somehow okay. The thought of losing him is making my chest feel like it’s collapsing on the inside.

His fingers trace my jaw, and I feel like this is goodbye. Simon's hand glows over the mark on his neck, and I feel as if I am cheated out of sealing the bite. He shakes his head and says, “Find someone else.” With that, he disappears.

It feels like I am being abandoned, and a sob escapes my lips. What is wrong with me? There is something about me that repels people away. Maybe it’s a curse or just my fucked up DNA. My skin no longer feels too tight, and my brain is back to normal. I wipe my tears away, stand quickly, put on my clothes, and stomp off toward campus. That whole ordeal put me behind schedule. I walked past my old class with Merrick, who was dispersing. “Salem!” I hear Gage’s voice, but ignore it and keep on walking. I feel so raw and fragile right now, and I can’t deal with him. He doesn’t get to see me like this. My life has been a mess lately, and I can’t find it to let someone else in. After all, they end up disappointing me.

He runs after me, “Salem!”

“Get lost, Gage. I am intentionally ignoring you for your safety and the safety of others.” My voice doesn’t even sound like my own right now. I feel heartbroken, and part of me feels like it’s Gage’s fault. It’s not his fault because it’s all mine, but I don’t care now. He runs faster and right up to me, pulling me to a halt. “Do you have a death wish?”

The left side of his mouth tilts up. “I’ve liked to toe the line between life and death. Is this foreplay because it feels strangely like foreplay?”

“Please, Gage, just go,” I beg with my eyes because his blood is singing under his skin, and my animal is out of control. I spent the last month trying to control my shadows when it was my animal, who was a psycho. My shadows and my beast want to lure him back to our house. There are tears in my eyes, and I try to beg him with my eyes to leave me be. “Not now, please.”

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