Is this guy gonna go for that? I don’t really wanna go to his house. But I’ll need to find a place out of the weather to hunker down for the night. It’s gonna be a cold one.
Fuck Steel Bones.
I didn’t have shit to do with their drama.
And fuck Dizzy. I don’t know exactly why I’m pissed at him, but I am. It’s preferable to the horrible feeling bubbling deep in my belly, black and sour and reeking of grief and hopelessness.
So, yeah. Fuck Dizzy. I don’t need him. I don’t need anyone.
I do need a fucking jacket, though.
Brick shakes his head. “No can do. You ain’t met my old lady. She’d put me out if I left a kid our Becca’s age alone in front of a pawnshop. Hop on. You can crash at our place tonight. We’ll move out at dawn.”
He offers me a reassuring smile that doesn’t quite meet his eyes, and then he swings a beefy leg, remounting his bike.
“Hop on, sweetheart. Dawn ain’t left for her sister’s yet. She’ll have dinner on by now, and she’s gonna be pissed if it gets cold.”
There’s no way this isn’t a setup.
Jed called this guy, and he was close enough to pick me up a half mile from Dizzy’s. He’s a Rebel Raider. I don’t know much, but obviously, they’re enemies of Steel Bones.
And clearly, Jed’s playin’ both sides. Seems like the type. He has the face of that weasel from the children’s book where a mouse tries to avoid being made into soup.
But if what Jed said was true, the Rebel Raiders want me alive.
I could call Brick out. Ask him what the Raiders plan to do with me.
Or I could play along. Maybe get dinner and a warm place to sleep. Maybe get some cash. And what is it they say? The enemy of my enemy is my friend?
“Make up your mind, girl. I hate reheated lasagna.” He revs his engine.
Shit. I’ve never had lasagna except for school lunch.
I wish I had a higher price, but lasagna does it. It’s not like I have choices.
I get on the back of his bike, put my feet on the pegs. He cackles with glee. “Dawn’s gonna shit when I pull up with you. I told her I was goin’ for a six-pack.”
And then we’re off again, and in minutes we’re navigating a winding country road through fields and half-barren trees, houses further and further apart.
A pit grows in my stomach.
I’m on my own again. Anxiety surges through my body. I hadn’t noticed, but at some point, I’d let my guard down. Relaxed. And now, the fear and worry weigh down on me twice as hard. Like how you feel heavier when you get out of a pool.
When I was in the shed, I kept tellin’ myself, over and over, it’s only a matter of time. They’re looking for me. They’re gonna find me. All I have to do is hold on. Any minute now, the door will open. Any minute.
No onewas coming.
Wishin’ I were back at Dizzy’s, tucked under the covers by his side, listening to him laugh at that stupid British car show—the sooner I forget about that, the better.
There is no safe.
Wishin’ does not make it so.
I can’t be stupid again. I’ve got to keep running ‘til I get so far, I’m not even a memory.
Maybe I’ll be able to forget him then.
* * *