Page 88 of Dizzy

“I’ve hooked up with women since I got divorced. Some were younger.” He says it like he’s waiting for me to get to the point.

He’s gonna be waiting a long time.

I don’t have a point. At least not one that makes sense. I’ve only got questions I don’t dare ask.

Am I special? Am I different? Do you love me?

Am I a sad and stupid fool, falling for a man’s bullshit despite a lifetime of firsthand education?

I got my pride. I will never, ever ask.

Dizzy scrubs his face. Then he raises his head and pierces me with his dark brown eyes. “What do you need, baby? You got to tell me. I can’t give it to you if I don’t know what it is.”

What do I need?

That’s a ridiculous question. How do I answer? Unconditional love. Safety. To be the most important person in the world to someone.

A billion dollars, three wishes, and a unicorn that shits rainbows.

A home.

Him.

I hug my arms hard against my chest.

It’s a terrifying thing, to know I’m this weak. That at heart, I’m a sucker, like every other woman in my family.

“Do you want to redo the kitchen or something?” Dizzy’s forehead is wrinkled, and his grip tightens on his thighs. He’s getting frustrated.

“I don’t want to redo the kitchen.”

He huffs and tilts his head back, staring woefully at the ceiling. “Do you wantmeto redo the kitchen?”

“The kitchen is fine.”

“Goddamn it,” he mutters. Then he thinks of something. He digs in his pocket and takes out his phone.

“Here.” He holds it out. “Here.” He shakes it.

I take it. “Who am I supposed to call?”

“Check it. Check my messages. There’s nothin’ between Sharon and me but the kids.”

I recognize this move. Brian pulled it with Dee all the time. It turned out he had his wife in his contacts asMom.

Still. I’m not gonna miss the opportunity.

“What’s your password?”

“I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have a password?” I swipe. No, he does not. He doesn’t even have a picture of his kids as wallpaper. It’s the blue factory default background.

I pull up the text messages. George. Heavy. Parker. Carson. Cue.

Sharon.

I tap.

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