Page 14 of Forty

“It doesn’t matter now. We were kids. I’m sorry for how I acted. That’s all I wanted to say. If it makes you feel better, I lost all my friends, and it wasn’t easy, starting over in a new city.”

I feel unsteady, as if my feet aren’t on firm ground. “Why now? Why come around now?”

“Better late than never?”

I scrub the back of my neck in frustration. “Can you just be straight with me? For once?”

She draws in a shaky breath. “I guess I’m trying to put some things right.”

“Why?”

“Does there have to be a reason?”

And there it is. The reason this isn’t gonna end with peace between us. Shecan’tbe straight. People like her never change. Answer a question with a question. It’s all a game. And maybe her crazy was hot as shit when I was a teenager, but I’m a grown man now, and this kind of bullshit is just sad.

I don’t care if she’s working the ninth step, or she’s on some kind of journey to find herself. It doesn’t matter that my dick’s harder than it’s been in years, and I haven’t thought about the pain in my arm once the entire time we’ve been talking. I don’t need this in my life.

“I tell you what, Nevaeh. It doesn’t matter. You’ve said your piece. Now stay away from the clubhouse. Stay away from me and my brothers. We’re done now. For good.”

She takes a half step back. I guess she thought this conversation was going a different direction. Maybe for a second, before I remembered the complete havoc she wrought on my life, it was.

But fool me twice, shame on me, right?

She opens her mouth, as if she’s gonna argue. But then she sighs instead. She lifts a shoulder and flashes a weak smile. “Okay, Forty. It was good to see you.”

And then turns on her heels and disappears into the house, the screen door swinging shut behind her. My gut drops and for a second, my body mindlessly lurches forward, demanding that I take her back.

She’s gone too quick.

I’m left standing on the front walk, my brain spinning.

This is what I wanted, right? I don’t need to relive my worst choices. I was given a second chance when they pulled me from the wreckage of that chopper, and I’m not using that gift to take a walk down some misguided memory lane. I’m gonna go home, call Amelia, tell her I had a good time. Ask her out again. Move on.

I force my feet to move toward my truck, drag my body into the driver’s seat.

I did what I came to do. Nevaeh’s not going to cause a problem again.

I’m satisfied.

And it feels like shit.

3

NEVAEH

“Swing and a miss?” Lou’s lounging on the sofa with a longneck, watching some show where celebrities dress in mascot costumes and sing karaoke songs.

“Were you listening the whole time?”

“Just during commercials.”

“You mean my love life is less interesting than a dude dressed up like a papaya singing ‘Sweet Caroline?’”

“It’s a mango. And yes.”

I flop down next to Lou, burrow into him, get him good with my elbow as I tousle his hair. He jerks his head away.

“Quit it, Backwards.”

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