Page 65 of Forty

Crickets are singing in waves, and in front of me, Forty’s unwrapping his beautiful body, inch by inch. His tattooed arm. The scar and the burns. The chiseled stomach muscles and his sculpted back. His firm ass and his hard, veiny cock, bobbing in midair.

Well, nice to knowhedoesn’t see me any differently.

Finally, he steps into the tub and takes a seat opposite me. I lay my cheek on my forearm and let my legs float. A jet tickles my belly.

“You comin’ over here or do I need to come get you?”

I glance over my shoulder. Forty’s eyes are glittering and dark.

“You want me over there?”

“Yes,” he growls.

I make him sweat it for a few seconds and then I push back and let go, drifting over to him. He scoops me up and nestles me on his lap. His cock is blazing hot against my hip.

I’m exposed to the evening air from the waist up now. Goosebumps pucker my arms, and my nipples harden into achy points.

Forty doesn’t paw at me. He holds me very, very tight against his chest, resting his chin on the top of my head. We both stare into the distance where the sunset casts its colors against the black outline of trees.

“I don’t know what to say,” he finally says low, right into my ear. Little shivers zip down my neck. Warm breath against my chilly neck. My crazy brain is anchored to the moment. “If I knew the right words, I’d say them. But everything I think to say—it’s wrong.”

I rest my head on one of his pecs. His body is amazing. He’s so strong. So solid.

“Say whatever you want.”

There’s a jet pounding the vertebrae right at the bottom of my spine. It’s making the spot tender, but it feels too good to shift.

“I would have killed him.”

“I know.”

“You could have told me.”

“Nope.” I drop a kiss right above his nipple. I let my lips linger to see if I can feel his heartbeat. “I couldn’t tell anyone. Not for years.”

“I should have known. Fuck. I should have made you tell me.” His body’s tensing underneath me. Priming to fight. His arms wrap more tightly, and he’s surrounding me. As if he’s trying to protect me.

“You couldn’t have known.”

“You went crazy. I left, and you went crazy. And I never fucking asked why.” His voice breaks. It’s an ugly sound.

“You did ask.What the fuck is wrong with you, Nevaeh?Like a dozen times.”

“Why are you trying to let me off easy?”

“Why are you trying to beat yourself up?”

“’Cause I fuckin’ deserve it. Goddamn, Nevaeh. You wereeverythingto me.”

“Nah.” I keep my voice gentle. I don’t want him to think I’m blaming him. “You wanted to see the world. Make a man of yourself. You wanted me, too. Sure. But you wanted that for yourself. That’s okay. Kids grow up. That’s what they’re supposed to do.”

“You think you weren’t the world to me?”

“It’s water under the bridge.”

“No.” Suddenly, Forty shifts me until I face him, my legs straddling his thighs, and he grabs my chin and makes me look him in the eye. “You were my whole goddamn heart. All these years since? Just me tryin’ to keep living without one. I reenlisted ‘cause there was nothing for me here. I bought a house. I want a family. But I can’t put anything in it. It’syourhouse. I go out with women; they’re nice—”

Oh, yuck. I don’t want to hear this. I try to cover his mouth, but his enormous arms are blocking me.

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