Page 74 of Corrupt Me

A deep exhale left me. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear him say that because, despite everything, I didn’t regret what happened either. “Which part? That we slept together? That your brother found out? That I’m glad it was you?” I needed clarification, or my mind would go squirrely wondering.

The first streaks of sunlight peaked on the horizon, casting the view before us in an autumnal glow of oranges and yellows. Tristan’s blue eyes landed on me. His lips pulled into a serious straight line where his silver hoop glinted. “None of it.”

“Then what is it?”

“I might not feel those things, but you do.”

Surprise rippled over me. “And that’s what’s twisting you up? My feelings?”

Flipping down the visor, Tristan took the next turn one-handed. “I warned you sleeping with me would be a bad idea. It complicates our friendship despite what you tell yourself.”

“Are we? Still friends?” I inquired, wisps of uncertainty in my features.

The car rolled to a stop as the traffic light turned red. His gaze collided with mine. Energy charged in the air between us. “Were we ever friends, Shortcake?”

I’d thought so. I really had, but looking at him now, I couldn’t say. Compared to my friendship with Sam, Tristan’s and my friendship couldn’t be different. I’d been closer with Preston growing up even before we started dating. Tristan had always been in the background, a broody, serious presence who fascinated me—who called to me.

That hadn’t changed.

My fingers curled into my palms. “So, what am I supposed to do now?”

“Live your life, Ever.”

Internally, I winced at hearing him call me by my name. Over the last few weeks, I’d grown to expect, hell, even like, the nickname Shortcake. It was a level of closeness shared by just us.

His car came to a stop in front of Preston’s dorm.

What else was there to say? “Thanks for the lay, Tristan,” I snapped, reaching for the door.

My fingers hovered over the handle. I hesitated. Once I got out of this car, nothing would be the same. It had already changed exponentially, and somehow opening this door was harder than any other one, including last night when I stepped into Preston’s room.

If I didn’t cut this off now, my fragile heart would never heal. The damage would break me to the point of being unmendable.

It took every ounce of my willpower to keep from looking back. I walked to Sam’s car, my legs mindlessly carrying me, but I never felt my feet touch the ground.

After I hit the unlock button on her key fob, a series of beeps followed, and still, I refused to glance over my shoulder. I sat in Sam’s car, my gaze forward as I listened to Tristan’s engine rev before he gunned it out of the parking lot.

twenty-two

Leaving had been the best decision. I’d see Tristan again whether I wanted to or not. We lived in the same building. We were bound to run into each other from time to time. This wasn’t a forever goodbye. Was it possible we could find our way back to being friends? Maybe if I could find it in my heart to forgive him for the pictures and the secrets he kept from me. Perhaps persevering my friendship with either brother was a horrible idea.

Everything was too fresh and raw to think that far.

The drive back to school was long. Too long to be stuck alone with my thoughts.

I tried to call Sam because singing every song on my playlist wasn’t working. She didn’t pick up. Not surprising given the early hour, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I glanced at the clock. I didn’t have very many people in my life who would pick up at this time. My dad, but I wanted a sympathetic ear, not a lecture. Preston and Tristan were out of the question for obvious reasons.

It became sadly clear I needed more people in my life. My social life at college wasn’t what I would like it to be. I’d beenhoping to meet new people and make more friends. Maybe I should join a sorority. I relied on Sam too much, not only as my only close friend, especially now, but also for her social game. She was the one who made friends easily, dragging me along with her.

It worked in the past.

But I had to learn more independence and stand on my own. I couldn’t always rely on someone else.

Tomorrow.

I’d start tomorrow being a stronger, better version of myself. Or maybe the next day.

Today, I needed a supportive ally. Someone who loved me. Someone as close to a mom as I had in my life.

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