Page 108 of Corrupt Me

“Ever.Wake up. Come on, Shortcake, open your eyes. Open your eyes and yell at me.” Tristan’s voice coaxed me out of the nightmare I’d repeated countless times in my sleep.

Clarity slowly broke through, edging aside the last foggy ribbons my mind clung to. “I think I’ve done enough screaming for a lifetime,” I whispered, the familiar burn scratching at my throat. My cheeks were damp, tears streaming down them and blurring my eyes as I blinked at the shadowy room.

I didn’t know that fateful night nearly a year ago would haunt me for weeks and months to come or that I would continue to cry out in agony…that I would never be the same. Especially on nights like the one I just had where I was reminded how precious and short life was.

My mother had taken her life.

Despite knowing how sad she’d been, how desperate she must have been to escape the pain she more than often suffered in silence, I understood she’d never meant to hurt me. She’d loved me.

Tristan pulled back, staring into my face and studying me. I tried to glance away, but he wouldn’t let me. “It’s okay. You can let go if you need to.”

It was too easy to be swayed into his arms and so much harder to refuse the comfort he offered in sharing my burdens. Swallowing, I shook my head. “You don’t get to do that. Be here for me. Let me depend on you. It’s not fair to me, not when it’s one-sided. I can’t always be the vulnerable one. I have to stop relying on you. I can’t do this with you.”

He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “I know.”

My skin tingled from where his lips touched, but I bristled, steeling myself. “Then you need to let me go.”

“I know.” He sighed again, but nothing about those two words sounded genuine.

My heart sank. I pulled away, brushed at my wet cheeks with my hand, and started to roll off the bed.

Tristan’s fingers wound around my wrists “I can’t,” he said softly.

My body stiffened. Keeping my back to him, I shook my head after a few seconds of my pulse racing. I couldn’t look at him. “You have to stop. My heart can’t take it. Either let me go or I stay. But if I stay, it has to mean something. I don’t want casual with you. I want more.”

His fingers remained on my arm, neither loosening nor tightening as he contemplated my ultimatum. “I thought I could let you go.”

I turned then and faced him. We were shrouded in darkness but not so much so that I couldn’t see his features and the tortured struggle in his eyes. “Let me simplify this for you. Do you want me?”

“Obviously,” he replied, his fingers falling from my wrist only to rest on my upper thigh.

“Do you love me?” I demanded, holding his gaze.

Not a speck of hesitation. “Yes. Like I’ve never loved another soul. It scares me.”

He wasn’t the only one. How deeply I loved this man frightened me too. “Do you want me to be happy?”

His fingers brushed the hair off my face, tucking them behind my ear. “Of course. It’s all I want.”

I scooted closer to him on the bed, resisting the urge to climb into his lap. “Youmake me happy. Well, when you’re not pushing me away.”

He gave me a look I knew well.

“Don’t you dare say being with you will be dangerous,” I chided. “Did you ever think I don’t care? Or that it’s a risk I’m willing to take? That I trust you more than any other person besides Sam? For the longest time, I clung to something that wasn’t real. But what we have, what you make me feel, is real. You make me feel less broken.”

He sucked in a breath, releasing it. “You aren’t broken, Shortcake.”

My heart fluttered. “Because of you,” I added. “You put me back together again. Every time I fall apart, you’re the one who catches me.”

Raw emotion moved into his eyes. “You deserve a fairy-tale ending.”

“I’m not a princess, Tristan. You don’t always have to rescue me. I don’t need you to sweep me off my feet.”

“Good because I’m not the hero type.” The confession came out strangled.

I put my hand over his heart, no longer able to deny myself from touching him, seeking his warmth. “You’re not the villain either, regardless of what you think of yourself. Not anymore.”

“Who am I then?”