Page 14 of Little Shattered Dreams

“My mother didn’t feel like she could be here without any support. I tried convincing her she was stronger than she realized, but I guess I wasn’t that convincing. I didn’t want her to miss out on the experience, so we decided I’d still come to the retreat, but we’d do our best to have our own experiences. That’s why we’re not rooming next to each other. We agreed to meet each morning and go for a walk before everyone else was awake. It was supposed to give us the chance to talk about how we were doing. Then we’d go about our day.”

It seemed like an unusual arrangement, but maybe it wasn’t.

“Does anyone else at the retreat know you’re her daughter?” I asked.

Faith shook her head.

“Why the secrecy?” I asked.

She combed her fingers through her hair. “It’s not like that. We’re not trying to keep secrets. I guess I just thought … you know, like they told her … she’d get the most out of her time here if she did it on her own. Maybe it was a stupid idea. It’s just … mothers can be a bit much sometimes, can’t they?”

She’d whispered that last part.

“Your idea wasn’t stupid,” I said. “I’m not rooming next to my mother either.”

“I’ve seen you around, talking with some of the others here. Seems like a bunch of you know each other.”

“There’s six in our group.”

“Whoa. That’s a lot.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know what to expect at a place like this, and now that I’ve been here a few days, it’s nothing like I thought it would be. Let’s just say I’m the type of person who doesn’t find it easy to relax. On the other hand, I can see where people who are coming here to grow or to move past something may be better off doing it alone, their own way, in their own time.”

She nodded. “Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of your time at the retreat. It was nice to meet you. Sorry again for waking you.”

Faith seemed like a nice young woman, polite and full of life. I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but the truth would be revealed whether I was the one to give it to her or not.

“Faith, about your mom … I need to tell you—”

“I hope it hasn’t been too hard being next to her. She’s going through a lot right now. I’m proud of her, you know. Every step she’s taken over this last year has been a step in the right direction.”

The wall between our places wasn’t thin, but it wasn’t thick either. The first night, Quinn had cried until I assumed she’d fallen asleep. Last night had been a lot quieter … until it wasn’t.

“Listen, do you want to come inside for a few minutes?” I asked. “I brought my own coffee maker. I can make you a cup.”

She considered the offer. “I think I’m going to head around back, see if I can get her attention that way. Who knows? Maybe her alarm didn’t go off. It’s just … she’s a light sleeper. She would have heard me knocking. Maybe she’s in the shower, or maybe she’s—”

“Your mother’s not in her room. I’m sorry. I should have told you that at the beginning, but I didn’t know you were her daughter. Come with me. Let’s talk.”

The bond we’d started to create crumbled as she eyed me, realizing I’d been withholding information about her mother. “If you knew she wasn’t here, why didn’t you tell me? Why did you just let me stand here, chatting away?”

“I’m telling you now.”

She ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to warm herself up. “Go on, then. I’m listening.”

“Please, it’s cold out. A cup of coffee will warm you right up.”

She cocked her head to one side and crossed her arms, tapping her sneaker to the ground. “I’d like to know where my mother is first.”

“It would just be better if you—”

“No, it wouldn’t. Where is she?”

I didn’t just want to blurt it out without any context, so I started from the beginning. “Last night I heard what sounded like something crashing against our adjoining wall. I was concerned, so I knocked on her door. When she didn’t answer, I went around back and discovered the sliding glass door to her bedroom was open. I shouted out to her first, and when there still was no answer, I went inside. I found her on the couch in the living room, and she was, well—”

“She was …what?”

“I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you this, Faith. Your mother … she’s dead.”

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