Page 9 of Little Shattered Dreams

“I know. The last case I had, the Ellis family—”

“You mean the last casewehad,” he corrected.

“Right. I checked in with the family to see how they were doing a few months ago. Heidi Ellis had just returned from a weeklong stay at this place. She said it was the most relaxed she’d been in years. She made it sound so amazing, I decided to be spontaneous for a change, and I booked it.”

“Sounds like it isn’t as described.”

“Let’s just say the picture I formed in my mind is a lot different than the reality. I thought it would be a fun place to celebrate the anniversary of the detective agency. Now I’m thinking I should have taken us somewhere else—anywhere else.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Your sister seems to be enjoying herself.”

“Does Phoebe know you’re here?” I asked.

“Not yet. Spoke to her on the phone earlier, and she said she was headed to bed. Got Officer Decker keeping an eye on things, and I’ll stop in to see her once I finish here.”

Foley had been dating my sister for almost a year now, something I wasn’t too keen on at first. I thought their relationship would get in the way of my work, but so far, it hadn’t. As the months passed and their relationship progressed, I saw how happy she was with him, and I eased up on the idea.

And Foley was right about Phoebe enjoying herself here. In the past two years, Phoebe had focused more on self-care. She was a lot more into talking about her feelings than I’d ever be. I thought our days at the retreat would be spent indulging in good food, good wine, and a series of hot stone massages. Instead, activities included sitting together with other retreat guests in a circle where we were prompted to get in touch with ourselves by sharing personal feelings. It was all so … eww.

My past was complicated. Not all of it, but enough of it. For me, some things needed to stay where they were, closed behind compartmentalized doors. This approach allowed me to function instead of focusing on things I’d rather forget.

Foley tapped me on the shoulder. “Hey, you hear what I just said?”

“No, sorry. I was thinking about something else. What were you saying?”

“The victim, Quinn Abernathy … you talk to her at all since you've been here?” Foley asked.

“We never had a one-on-one conversation, but I did learn a little about her life.”

He crossed his arms. “Care to share?”

“I got the impression she’d been through plenty of hardships over the years.”

“How do you know?”

“In the evenings, everyone at the retreat attends a group session before dinner. We were told it isn’t mandatory, but I get the feeling they’d try and round us up if we ditched out on it. After tonight’s session, I decided I was done going to them. What are they going to do … ask me to leave if I don’t attend?”

He laughed. “They might. Tell me more about the sessions.”

“Each of us has ten minutes to talk about ourselves, our past, what brought us here, things like that. And there’s always a theme. Yesterday’s theme was learning how to forgive those who have wronged us, and tonight it was learning how to free ourselves from past regret. Karl, the guy who leads the sessions, is always saying things like: ‘Every step you’ve taken in life whether perceived as good or bad, has brought you to where you are today. Embrace it,’ and other stuff. He’s a piece of work, that guy.”

“Do you believe the sessions are helpful to those who attend?”

I raised a brow. “I thought this conversation was about Quinn and figuring out why she was murdered.”

“It is. Guess I was just curious to hear your take on it.”

“What’syourtake?”

“I happen to believe Karl’s right.”

Part of me did too, though admitting it seemed harder than it should have been. It was almost like I was going against my nature, even though I’d started leaning into it—to a small degree, at least.

“I’ve always felt when life is easiest, when it’s smooth and calm, we float along with the current,” I said. “We don’t push ourselves to grow or evolve in those times because life is easy.Changeisn’t at the forefront of our minds. When trials come and life gets messy, we go into survival mode. In that moment, we have a choice. We can dig our own grave and wallow in our despair, or we rise up and claw our way out.”

“I’d imagine you claw your way out.”

“I do.”

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