Page 71 of Finding Jess

“Yeah,” Jess drawled, giving her a look that said she probably thought the same. “So that’s—different.”

“Have you met her?”

Jess shook her head. “No. He just told me about it a couple months ago.” She let out a soft chuckle. “And it’s a good thing he told me over the phone because I probably would’ve looked as shocked as you did just now.”

“Yeah, that’s—” Sam paused, searching for the right words. “Hard to imagine.”

Jess laughed as she tossed another rock, easily making it in.

She opened her mouth, then paused. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, then she asked, “What did you really think that day we ran into each other?”

Sam blinked, thinking back to that day and how she felt. How shocked she’d been. But also the other things she’d felt. Anxiety, maybe even panic. But also something else. Some sense of relief. As if she’d been waiting for that moment for a long time without realizing it.

Jess turned slightly, looking at her.

Sam cleared her throat, pulling her knees up in front of her and resting her elbows against them. “That it had been way too long.” She let out a breath. “And that I wished it had happened sooner.”

It was the truth. She hadn’t really thought about it that deeply when it happened, or at all since. But that was it. For some reason, it felt like regret. Like she hadn’t realized until the moment she’d seen her that she’d made a mistake in letting so much time pass.

Jess’ eyes flicked down as Sam plucked another pebble from the pile. She threw it, and it bounced off the edge, skittering across the ground. Sam frowned, resting her elbows back on her knees.

Jess chuckled as she picked up the next rock. “Wishing you’d picked a different game now?”

Sam snorted a laugh. “I’m just warming up.”

Jess tossed the next one, easily landing it in the cup.

“Did you date anyone in the last four years?”

She thought for a moment. “What do you define as ‘dated’?”

Jess rolled her eyes, leaning past her to grab another pebble. “That’s the only answer I need.”

Sam laughed, turning to look at her. Jess shivered, shifting slightly closer to her. Their arms brushed against each other, and Sam suddenly wished she’d brought a jacket that night so she could’ve given it to her.

Without a word, Sam leaned down and picked up a pebble, angling her body slightly toward Jess to keep the subtle contactbetween them. Her eyes flicked to the cup in the distance, narrowing with focus before tossing the pebble with a quick flick of her wrist.

It landed perfectly.

“Did you date anyone?” she asked, turning to Jess. “I mean, before Liz.”

Jess shrugged lightly. “There was one girl,” she said. “It wasn’t that serious, though.”

Sam nodded, wondering how serious she and Liz really had been. From the outside, they’d seemed serious enough. Especially if Jess had met her parents.

Jess threw the pebble and missed.

Sam picked one up and tossed it, making it in. “Were you and Liz serious?”

Jess pursed her lips, eyes dropping to the ground in front of them. She was quiet for a long while, and Sam began to wonder if it was too soon to ask that question.

Finally, Jess replied, “Yes.”

Some small uncomfortable feeling tugged at her gut.

“And no,” Jess breathed. She shook her head slightly. “I don’t know. It was—complicated.” Sam watched her carefully, taking in every detail in the way she crinkled her eyes and chewed her lip.

“It just felt like there was alwayssomething,” she continued. “Like, for some reason, we could never just be—happy—or okay.”