Page 105 of Finding Jess

Jess squeezed her hand gently.

Sam’s chest rose and fell in a shallow breath, and she cast a reluctant look toward the far side of the grounds. “When I got home from school that day, she wasn’t there.” Her voice softened, becoming almost detached as she forced the last words out. “The cops showed up later that night.”

She took a deep breath, waiting for the crushing guilt to rush through her like it always did.

“Look at me,” Jess said, raising her hand and placing it on Sam’s cheek.

Sam looked up and saw a glassy sheen covering Jess’ eyes.

“You didn’t make that choice for her.”

Something in her eyes kept her grounded there. Not in the way it did when she forced herself to focus on something and drown out the thoughts she wanted to avoid.

But something else.

Something in Jess’ eyes—in hereverything—kept her there.Kept her from being overtaken by the memories.

She’d never told anyone about that morning with her mom. Or at least, not the details. Not the parts that threatened to devour her if she let them linger for too long.

Even when she’d talked to Jess about it before, she’d kept those parts to herself. The worst parts.

And now, seeing that look in her eyes, she realized maybe that had been a mistake.Because if there was anyone she should’ve trusted with those parts of herself—it was the girl she’d loved more than anything.

Sam slowly leaned forward, closing the small gap between them.

She pressed her lips against hers. Not even wanting to kiss her, but instead just to feel her. To know that she was right there with her. That she wasn’t walking away.

She pulled her lips away, leaving her head resting against Jess’ forehead as she let her eyes close.

Jess’ hand ran up the back of her neck, nails scratching lightly against the skin in the way that never failed to soothe her.

Her other hand ran up the side of her jaw, past her temple, her fingers tangling in her hair as she stroked it back.

Sam released a breath, her shoulders relaxing for what felt like the first time since they’d arrived the day before.“I love it when you do that,” she whispered, leaning into the touch.

“I know,” Jess whispered, tilting her head to the side as she brushed her lips against her temple. “Stay with me tonight.”

She kissed her temple, then her cheek, before pulling her head back.

Sam raised her head slowly, blinking away the exhaustion that had begun to build in her eyes.

“My dad won’t be there,” Jess continued softly. “He’s going with Suki to some event for her work. He said they’ll be gone late.”

“Okay,” Sam answered, not even bothering to consider the alternative. It wouldn’t be any use, anyway. Even if she knew it might not be a good idea—that they shouldn’t be spending so many nights together when they still hadn’t talked about whatany of it meant—or how it would end, she knew she wouldn’t be able to say no.

She wouldn’t be able to stay away from her.

Chapter twenty-two

Sam carefully tied the last knot in the ribbon around the vase, tugging on the ends until they were even.

“Perfect,” Jess said, placing another picture of Scarlett as a child into the vase.

She glanced around the backyard of Scarlett’s parent’s house, where different friends and family members gathered around white folding tables, laughing and talking as they each worked on different decorations.

Scarlett had insisted that they have the rehearsal dinner there and they build the centerpieces for the wedding tables themselves. She’d explained when they’d first arrived that night, after leaving the cemetery, that she’d always imagined the night beforeher wedding. She wanted that one night where their family and friends could get together and build something that would be there for their big day.

“Well,” Scarlett said from where she and Terrence sat across from them at the table, “It’ll definitely work. But I wouldn’t say either of you should leave your jobs to become decorators anytime soon.”

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