Page 92 of Where There's Smoke

“Would have saved yourself a lot too.”

“Yeah, but at least I wouldn’t be inflicting it on her. She deserves better than that.”

Ranya glanced at me. “So do you.”

I sighed and looked out the window. “I think I’ll let Simone reserve judgment on that.”

Another night, another hotel. I would have been happy with tour buses and truck stops, the way Roger had campaigned a few times in the past, but my uncle insisted on paying for my staff and me to stay in comfort wherever we went. Of course, every chance he had, he made it known to the media and the public that he wanted my campaign to put money into the local and state economies. Spin, spin, spin.

And all the while, as the campaign went on and everything was twisted and spun to suit everyone’s agendas, Anthony and I managed to exercise some restraint. It didn’t stop us from exchanging suggestive looks or stealing a dangerous kiss in a parking garage oralmostgiving in to the temptation for a blowjob in the back of a limousine, but somehow we kept our clothes on until almost ten days after the wedding ring incident. An event ended early that night, and Anthony, claiming we needed to discuss potential questions for a town-meeting type Q&A the next day, slipped into my room.

After we’d showered, I dropped onto my back beside him. “Goddamn, I needed that.”

“You and me both.”

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.” I ran my fingers through my wet hair. “This campaigning bullshit is exhausting, even when I’m not trying to find the nearest opportunity to let my campaign manager fuck me.”

Anthony laughed. “Well, what did you expect? You’ve been around campaigns before.”

“Yeah, I have.” I closed my eyes and blew out a breath. “Guess it’s a necessary evil to get into this line of work.”

“It is.” He paused. “Can I ask you something?”

I turned to him. “Go for it.”

He looked in my eyes, narrowing his just slightly as if searching for something. “Why politics?”

Still holding his gaze, I pushed myself up onto my elbow. “Why not?”

“No reason,” he said with a shrug. “But you’re already rich. You’re not power hungry. You don’t get a charge out of the games and bullshit. Why are you here, Jesse?” He pursed his lips. “I guess what I’m asking is, what doyouwant out of this?”

I rolled the question around in my mind for a moment before I answered. “I’ve always had a need to fix things. For other people. And nothing makes me crazier than that helpless feeling when something is out of my hands and I just have to sit back and do, well, nothing. I mean, except when I realize I’m the one causing everything going on in their lives.” I sighed. “Shit, look at me now. I’m making things worse for Simone. I can’t help my brother with his problems. I mean, even when things are beyond my power, I still feel like I need to help. Somehow. Like when my parents split, or my mom was sick.” I ran a hand through my wet hair again. “I guess, at some point, I thought I could fix bigger problems if I made it into some kind of office. Where I could actually do something.” I shook my head. “It sounds even more ridiculous when I say it out loud.”

“Not really,” he said. “And I was just curious.”

“Well, there it is. That’s why I wanted to go into politics. Half of it, anyway.”

“And the other half?”

“Equally ridiculous,” I said with a self-conscious laugh. “Look, I’ve been in the public eye my entire life. If you’re a caged monkey and the world is watching you, you might as well do some kind of trick, you know? So I guess I thought politics would give me a chance to show that yes, I can do tricks, but maybe there’s a bit more to me than that.” I made myself meet his eyes. “I want to do something besides exist for the cameras.”

“So you want people to take you seriously, then.”

“Pretty much. And the more I hung around Roger, the more that career path appealed to me. It just felt right, I guess. I’m in the public eye whether I want to be or not, so why not be useful for once?”

“You’re obviously suited for this line of work.”

I laughed. “You’ve only seen me campaigning. You’ve never seen me actually try to do the job.”

“Fair enough.” He touched my face, brushing the pad of his thumb across my cheekbone. “But I know you. You’re not a power-hungry two-face looking to exploit people for your own gain.”

“Ironic, since that’s exactly what I’m doing to Simone.” My stomach twisted. “What is it they say about actions speaking louder than words?”

“They do, Jesse.” He slid his hand into my hair and drew me closer. “Trust me, they do.”

Chapter 19

Anthony

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