Page 61 of Where There's Smoke

Nodding, I said, “There is that. Though to be honest, I live and breathe campaigns, so I haven’t had much of a personal life to speak of. Not until recently, anyway. Which is why most people—including your uncle and any other candidate I’ve ever worked with—don’t even know I’m gay.”

“Fun secret to keep, isn’t it?”

“Ooh yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “Loads of fun. That’s part of why I’ve been single for so long. When you work in or around politics, it’s usually advisable to keep things like this under the radar, and most guys get tired of being another man’s dirty secret. Believe me, that novelty wears offquick.”

Jesse flinched.

I put a hand on his arm. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Still, we can’t exactly broadcast this. If you want to jump ship before—”

I cut him off with a gentle kiss. For a second, he was still, but then he wrapped his arms around me and relaxed into my kiss.

After a moment, I broke away just enough to be able to speak. “The only problem I’m going to have with keeping this quiet,” I whispered, “is making sure no one hears me when you make me come.”

He moaned softly and raised his head to kiss me. As he sank back to the pillow, he said, “Okay, but assuming we keep doing this, we’re either going to have to keep it quiet or, sooner or later, come out. How long do we keep this a secret? If I make it into office…”

“We’ll deal with that when we get there.” I grinned cautiously. “At least in this case, I don’t have to worry about a candidate throwing me off his campaign for being a dirty fag.”

Jesse laughed. “Okay, that’s true.” He touched my face. “Did that ever bother you? Working on my uncle’s campaigns when he was so unsupportive of gay rights?”

“It kept me awake at night sometimes, believe me. The thing is, usually he was just ambivalent about gay rights, whereas he’d be running against someone who was torch-and-pitchfork antigay.”

“The lesser of two evils, then?”

“Pretty much. Which is how it works on any level in politics. And if the choice comes down to someone who’s vehemently against an important issue versus someone who isn’t terribly vocal either way…” I shrugged.

“I guess that makes sense.” A hint of a smirk played at his lips. “I’m assuming you don’t usually get involved with your candidates?”

I laughed. “Prior to you, Jesse, I’d have said there was a snowball’s chance in hell of me ever getting involved with a candidate.” My humor faded, and I trailed my fingers up and down the side of his neck. “This could be career suicide for both of us, you know.”

He slid his hand over the back of mine. “But here we are.”

“The last place in the world we should be,” I whispered, leaning closer to him. “But what can I say? I’m willing to take the risk if you are.”

His other hand snaked around the back of my neck and into my hair. Just before our lips met, he said, “Damn right I’m willing.”

I kissed him, and there was no turning back. I’d already had him once, and damned if I was leaving this bed before I’d had him again, even if there was every reason for us to go our separate ways and pretend tonight had never happened.

It happened.

It was happening again.

And this wouldn’t be the last time.

Chapter 14

Jesse

Like a philanderer trying notto get caught, I returned home as stealthily as I could. I dimmed my headlights on the way up the driveway, thankful for the moonlight that allowed me to make it around the fountain without clipping anything. I parked in front of the garage and left the engine idling as I went around to the side door. Once I’d keyed myself in, I opened the garage door manually—less noise than using the mechanical opener—and pulled my car in. Then I closed the garage door before going inside.

I cringed as the security system chirped to announce it was disarmed. I swore it wasn’t usually that loud, and I froze, not even breathing, listening to the stillness for any indication Simone was awake.

After almost a full minute of prolonged, nervous silence, I carefully pocketed my keys so they’d make as little noise as possible. I slipped off my shoes and carried them down the hall to my bedroom. As I closed the door behind me with a quiet—but still panic-inducing—click, I exhaled.

And now that I was in the clear, I was still and silent for another long moment. I told myself I was just relieved I hadn’t disturbed Simone. It had nothing at all to do with the ache in my muscles or the fact that that ache felt suspiciously like the guilty one beneath my rib cage.

It wasn’t cheating, I reminded myself again and again. Simone probably would have given me hell if I hadn’t taken Anthony up on the opportunity for a long-overdue night together, but it still didn’t feel right. And it didn’t feel safe with all the cameras and prying eyes watching my every move. But it felt so, so good. And wrong. And amazing.

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