Page 41 of Where There's Smoke

“But that doesn’t mean the other night was a mistake,” I whispered.

His gaze darted back toward me. “Then what was it?”

“I…” I swallowed hard and shook my head slowly as I took a step toward him. He tensed, so I stopped. “I don’t know what it was, Jesse. All I know is…”

Is…

What, Anthony?

The silence went on, and with every second, the panic knotted tighter in my chest with the certainty he was a moment away from throwing me out. I supposed I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did.

Jesse inclined his head. “All you know is, what?” His tone was laced with suspicion and skepticism.

“Nothing.” I took another step toward him, reaching for his waist. “I know absolutely nothing.” And with that, I kissed him.

He stiffened, and panic ripped through me. Certain he was about to shove me away, I almost beat him to the punch and drew back, but when he put his hands on my chest, he grabbed fistfuls of my shirt so I couldn’t pull away.

I broke the kiss and met his eyes. “As your campaign manager, I owe you better than this. Iknowthis is a bad idea, Jesse, and so do you, but I can’t help it.” With a trembling hand, I touched his face. “I want you.”

Jesse swallowed. He parted his lips like he was about to speak, but after a few seconds of silence, he pulled me into another kiss. He wrapped his arms around me and pushed me back a step. I took another step, pulling him withme. When he pushed me a second time, my calf bumped the bed, so I grabbed the front of his shirt and dragged him down onto the mattress.

“God, Anthony,” he moaned between kisses. “I want you so fucking bad.” Before I could speak, he pressed his hips against mine. Through his slacks and my jeans, our erections brushed, and as he kissed me again, his loose bow tie whispered across my neck like a soft, cool breath.

Bow tie.

Tuxedo shirt.

Slacks.

His tuxedo. Mine, which still hung in my room.

I broke the kiss and sighed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“We don’t have time,” I whispered and lifted my head to kiss him again. “We have”—I picked up the end of his bow tie—“we have that dinner.”

He exhaled. “I know. Damn it.”

I combed my fingers through his hair. “We’ll finish this.”

“When?” He bent and kissed me again, pausing to murmur, “God, I’m going to go crazy waiting even a few minutes…”

I shivered. “You’re not the only one. And I don’t know when. Soon, I hope.” As he raised his head and met my eyes, I added, “As soon as we fucking can.”

Chapter 10

Jesse

A weekafter that trip to Redding, I had already decided on my first order of business as California governor. Somehow or another, whether or not it was in my power, I was finding a damned way to get the wordsoonadded to the Geneva Convention as a form of cruel and unusual punishment, especially where it pertained to someone trying to campaign alongside the man he desperately needed to sleep with. Especially when that man shared those feelings, the two of them had to be all but inseparable every fucking day, and they couldn’t get five goddamned minutes of privacy for a desperately needed quickie orsomething.

We stole the odd kiss now and then, including a dangerously long one in a hotel stairwell in Mendocino, but it wasn’t enough. It was a tease, not a release. Every day, every night, just more teasing. More torturing ourselves.

Frustrated and exhausted, I closed my eyes and leaned against the headrest in the back of a limo that inched through San Diego traffic.

Now that we both knew what we wanted, it was a matter of discreetly being in the same place at the right time with condoms at the ready and nothing on the agenda for a few minutes. Soon, we’d get each other alone and into bed. Soon, I’d find out what Anthony looked like naked and how he felt inside me and how he sounded when he came. Soon.

Soon. Soon. Soon. Never fucking soon enough.

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