Page 123 of Where There's Smoke

He pulled out, but otherwise neither of us moved for a long, long time. Anthony rested his forehead on my shoulder, his sharp breaths cooling my skin, and I couldn’t say who shook more.

Eventually we got up and moved into the tiny, aged bathroom for a shower. It wasn’t until afterward, when we’d collapsed onto the hard, uneven bed again, that that undefined something in Anthony’s demeanor came back. As we lay in silence, it crept back in: his fingers slowed their caress on my shoulder. His gaze turned distant and unfocused. Faint crevices formed between his eyebrows. A long, heavy sigh.

“You never did tell me what was on your mind,” I said, not so sure I wanted to know. “You okay?”

“There’s…” He bit his lip and reached back to scratch his neck as if he just needed something for his hand to do. “I found out some incredibly infuriating things tonight. So I was pissed off, but I also felt guilty, so I needed…”

I ran my hand up and down his arm. “What happened?”

He swallowed. “I’m used to being in control of a campaign,” he said. “I call the shots. I plan and approve the strategies. Nothing happens without my say-so. I’m not used to someone playing me as a pawn in my own game.”

My blood turned cold. “What do you mean?”

Anthony moistened his lips. Taking a deep breath, he met my eyes. “Roger has been pulling some strings.”

Something sank in the pit of my stomach. “How so?”

“Remember how he encouraged you to get Simone involved? Insisted she’d be all right?”

That something sank even deeper. “Yeah…”

Anthony swallowed hard and looked me in the eye. “He knew. He knew exactly what would happen to her. I mean, we were all afraid she would fall apart, and I know you’ve been scared to death she would from the beginning, but…”

Ice climbed up my spine to the base of my neck. “What are you getting at?” Deep down I knew, but I needed to hear him say it.Say it, Anthony. Fucking say it.

“It was deliberate,” he whispered. “Calculated. He knew she’d buckle, and he was counting on it.”

My jaw might have dropped just then if fury hadn’t had me clenching my teeth so tightly.

“He knew,” Anthony said. “And he knew that when she did, you’d respond exactly the way you did, and…” Closing his eyes, he released a breath.

“What?”Come on. Say it. All of it.

His Adam’s apple bobbed. “And the public would love it. And they’d love you. Something like this can win an election, and he…Roger was banking on it.”

“That…son of a…”

“No shit. That’s why he insisted on getting Simone involved from the start. He knew I wouldn’t push her if I knew she had emotional issues, but putting her front and center at the very beginning like he did meant we couldn’t back her out of the limelight without being conspicuous about it. I was pissed that he put your marriage in the spotlight like that, but if I’d known why…” Anthony shook his head and exhaled sharply. “I am so sorry, Jesse. I’ll do a lot to win an election, but not this. If I had known…”

“You didn’t know,” I said. “I can’t imagine anyone but Roger did.”

“I know. But I…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I feel like I should have. I should have at least figured out what this was doing to Simone, and…” He scowled. “I knew it was taking its toll on her.”

“We all did,” I said. “I just didn’t think…” So that was why Roger wanted my marriage under the microscope. I’d known he wanted my sexuality kept under wraps, and it didn’t take an idiot to figure out why, but I’d needed his advice to help me get elected, so I’d gone with it. When the election was over, then I could figure out what to do about coming out.

But this? Knowingly putting Simone out there so her inevitable collapse could score me some votes? Fuck, the very thought made me sick to my stomach. I could have killed him. If he’d been in the room with me now, I’d have decked him. Son of abitch…

“Jesus.” I raked a hand through my hair. “I can’t believe I let him do this.”

“He’s good at this game,” Anthony said. “I should have known. And I swear, I would never knowingly allow something like this to happen with any candidate.” He trailed the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “But you…God, especially you…”

I touched his face. “I know you wouldn’t. To me or anyone else.”

“No, but especially you.” He met my eyes, and the intensity in his almost made me draw back. “And my God, I would never hurt Simone.” He winced. “On purpose, I mean. I think I’ve inadvertently hurt her more than enough.”

I flinched. “Yeah, me too.” I exhaled hard. “We can’t tell her about this. Any of it.”

Anthony nodded. “I know. And we can’t boot Roger off the campaign either.”

---