Page 102 of Where There's Smoke

“She did.”

“Not surprised at all,” Ranya said. “Look, she knows it’s over, but that doesn’t mean she’s happy about it.”

“Are either of us happy about it?”

“Of course not. It’s got to be hell for both of you. And knowing you’re with Anthony, knowing you’re as happy as you are with Anthony is just salt on the wound for her. Even if you’re okay with her seeing Dean, honey, she’s not as okay as you think she is about you seeing Anthony.”

I tapped my fingers on the stem of my wineglass. “And I’ve asked her time and again if any of this bothers her.”

“And haven’t you told me, time and again, that Simone isn’t very good at processing, let alone communicating feelings?”

I chewed my lip. “Good point. Still, I’ve honestly tried to be considerate of her. But you said yourself she’s seeing Dean. She’s moving on.” I searched Ranya’s eyes for agreement and found none. “Right?”

She took a breath. “Okay, call it some more women’s intuition. She’s got something going with Dean, but she’s not in love with him.” Ranya’s brow knitted together, and her tone was extra gentle as she said, “Not like she’s still in love with you.”

The words forced the breath out of my lungs.

“Or like you’re in love with Anthony,” she added.

“What? I’m—”

“Jesse.” She eyed me. “Don’t even try to deny it. Just…don’t. I see it. Anthony probably sees it. And I know Simone sees it.”

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. Whether or not I was in love with Anthony was another argument, but if Simone had picked up on something and it hurt her, the details and semantics didn’t matter.

“So I need to talk to her,” I said. “But…what do I say? I mean, what is there to discuss that isn’t already out in the open? Especially if she just keeps insisting she’s okay when we both know she isn’t?”

“Just let her know you still care about her. That she’s still important to you, and she’s not just there to be arm candy until after the election.”

“God.” I swallowed the lump trying to rise in my throat. “I want to say she knows that, but…maybe she doesn’t.”

“Even if she does,” Ranya said softly, “it wouldn’t hurt either of you for her to hear it again.”

“Good point.” I cleared my throat. “So what about Anthony?”

“What about him?”

“I mean, if this really does bother Simone that much, I don’t want to keep rubbing it in her face.”

Ranya shrugged. “Keep it on the down low just like you’ve been doing. She’s given you her blessing, so it’s not like you’re cheating, but if you and Anthony go out of your way to keep it off her radar as much as possible, that should take some of the sting out for her.” She paused. “And I suppose I’ve already thrown a bunch of unsolicited advice out there, so what’s a little more?”

I laughed quietly. “Don’t let me stop you.”

She smiled, but it was fleeting. “Listen, the way you feel about Anthony. Don’t…don’t let Simone see that any more than she already has. Keeping the whole thing with him on the down low is the best thing you can do for her, but especially that part.”

“Would it make a difference if I said I don’t even know how I feel about him?”

This time her smile came to life more fully, but it was almost a sad one. “I think you do know, Jesse. I can certainly see it.”

“Then how do I keep it from her?”

Ranya shook her head. “I don’t know. Play it cool around Anthony, don’t talk to her about him, keep those little floaty hearts from appearing over your head like they always do when he comes in the room.”

“Sounds easier said than done.”

“It is. But for Simone’s sake…”

“Yeah,” I whispered, staring into my wineglass. “For Simone’s sake.”

---