Page 84 of Where There's Smoke

In spite of the ticking clock, though, after I came out of the bathroom and Jesse started to go in to grab a shower of his own, I stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Still nervous?”

“I’ll be nervous until the thing’s over. You know that.” He smiled. “But I’m definitely more relaxed now.”

“Good.” I grinned, then leaned in and kissed him lightly. “Just answer the questions honestly and succinctly. Focus on the issues, just like we’ve discussed. You wiped the floor with the Dems; you can handle Casey.”

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“You’ll do fine.” I cupped his face in both hands and kissed him again. The heady scent of sweat and sex teased my nostrils. Damn it, if tonight wasn’t so important, I’d have put him over the side of the bed and started all over again.

When we pulled apart this time, Jesse smirked. “You always give your candidates pep talks when you’re only wearing a towel?”

I glanced down and chuckled. “I don’t make a habit of it, no.” I kissed him once more, then stepped back. “And we’re really short on time now, so we’d better get moving. You grab a shower, and I’m going to go downstairs and see if I need to knock any heads together.”

And get a cigarette. I need a cigarette stat.

While Jesse showered, I dressed and got myself ready. I even made use of the hotel blow-dryer. Vanity wasn’t high on my list of priorities, but even slightly damp hair had the potential to be incriminating.

Once I was put together with absolutely nothing to give away the fact that Jesse and I had just had sex, I headed out of the room. Obsessively worried about covering every possible base and hiding all the evidence, I took the condom with me, wrapped in a tissue, and discreetly discarded it in a trash can by the elevator. No such thing as too many precautions as far as I was concerned.

As the elevator doors closed, separating me from the incriminating evidence and any chance of Jesse stepping out and seeing or hearing me, I shut my eyes and took a few deep breaths. Even a much-needed orgasm and a long-awaited kiss couldn’t unwind the knots in my gut, not when Jesse was about to face Casey like this. He had so much riding on this debate. So much could go wrong. Many voters had made up their minds, but a debate could sway the undecided and the undecided could sway the election.

He can do this. He’s prepared. He’ll nail it.

I took another breath. I didn’t even realize I’d reached for my cigarettes until they were in my hand, and now that they were, I could think of nothing but having a smoke.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one, because a designated area had been roped off for staff members from both sides to smoke out behind the hotel across the street from the debate venue. Security guards stood around the perimeter, and a sparse crowd of both Jesse’s staff and Casey’s loitered with cigarettes and coffee cups.

I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Time and again I’d tried to persuade myself to quit, but as I drew in a long drag and that drag settled the nerves prickling along the length of my spine, I couldn’t imagine getting through a campaign without my beloved nicotine crutch. Especially this campaign.

“Anthony.” Simone’s voice turned my head. As she approached, her bodyguard towering over her, she added, “Good to see you.”

“Likewise,” I said. “Dean, good to see you too.”

He gave a slight nod and shook my hand.

To Simone, I said, “How have you been?”

“Good, good. How is Jesse?” Her cheeks colored slightly, and she quickly gestured at the building. “I mean, is he nervous?”

“As always.” I turned my head so I wouldn’t blow smoke in her face. “He’ll be all right, though.”

“He always is. How do you think he’ll do?”

I tapped my cigarette, watching a couple of glowing coals swirl down to the pavement. “If anyone can beat Casey, it’s Jesse.”

She cocked her head. “If anyone can, yes, but that doesn’t answer my question about how you think he’ll actuallydoagainst Casey.”

“I have complete confidence in him.” I pulled in another lungful of smoke.

She smirked. “So is everyone in politics allergic to giving straight answers?”

I laughed. “No, I just refuse to sound like an optimist.”

“Heaven forbid.” She brushed a few strands of hair off her face, and as I blew out the smoke, I watched her from the corner of my eye. Fuck, Jesse was right: shehadlost an alarming amount of weight. The harsh streetlights above us emphasized how much her cheeks had hollowed, turning her trademark high cheekbones into the hallmarks of borderline skeletal thinness. Her hair looked a little thinner, and her shirt couldn’t quite hide the exaggerated protrusion of her collarbones.

Guilt sank its teeth in deeper. She’d given Jesse her blessing to see other people, just as she had his to do the same, but I couldn’t imagine this was easy for her. Putting on the face of a happy wife, knowing he was sleeping with someone else, facing that someone else like there wasn’t a thing wrong with all this.

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