Page 76 of When the Angel Falls First

And suddenly, I knew. There was only one choice.

“I’m ready.”

He nodded, looking grave.

We stepped forward, side by side, into a doorway of light.

THIRTY-ONE

Josie

As I approachedthe base of Mount Rainier, a quiet melancholy welled up in my chest. The towering mass of stone and snow loomed above me, but it was mine for the taking. Caleb and I had said we’d do it together, all those years ago, but I had to make my own way now.

He’d been gone for three weeks, and though there were moments I thought I felt his presence, his watchful eye upon me, I knew it had to be from afar.

The air was crisp and clean, filling my lungs with an invigorating chill as I shouldered my gear, the weight comfortable and grounding. I ignored the voice inside me that said I was like Frodo leaving the Shire, because I was not in the mood to confront any wizards, warlocks, or witches on this trip. Especially since I knew now more than ever that it was a real possibility.

Each tiny detail of the world around me seemed magnified, the crunch of gravel underfoot, the sweet, sap-filled scent of the pine trees, the cool touch of the early morning wind against my skin. I was alone, yet I felt an inexplicable connection toeverything around me—to the mountain, to the sky, to the air I breathed.

I had decided to undertake this expedition alone, equipped with only my backpack and the grief that fueled my heart. I didn’t want the distraction of a trekking group, the chatter, and the constant companionship. I needed solitude—a chance to clear my mind and my soul, to face my own thoughts and fears without the noise of the world interfering.

I knew it was foolish, but a tiny seed of hope had taken root within me. If I could just reach the top of this mountain, to see alone what Caleb and I had planned to do together, I might find a way to start over.

Perhaps on the summit of Mount Rainier, I could begin the next phase of my life without Caleb.

The whistle of a gentle wind made the vast expanse feel even more lonely.

… until I heard a purr.

“Now what on earth are you doing here?”

There was no point in asking, for Gatsby, Matilda, and Heathcliff were never going to be the domesticated felines who puttered about the house. I wouldn’t have pegged them as hiking companions either, but there they were, ready to go.

“Well,” I murmured. “Looks like it’s just the four of us, then.”

With a deep breath, I straightened up, casting one last glance at the world below before turning to face the path. As I headed forward, the cats fell into step beside me, their little bodies weaving around my legs as we ventured onward.

By the end of the day, my body was wiped, but the sense of accomplishment overtook any aching muscles. I found a flat, grassy area nestled against a cluster of boulders, perfectly sheltered from the wind. The snow-covered peaks reflected the fadinglight, casting a soft, silvery glow over my little hideaway. It wasn’t exactly cozy like a warm bed, but up here, surrounded by nature’s raw beauty, it felt just right. I wrestled the tent into submission and crawled inside with Gatsby, Heathcliff, and Matilda right behind me.

They had taken every step at my side, stopping with me to nibble or when tears welled in my eyes so badly that I risked missing the path. With their little bodies curled up against my tired legs and their purring filling the quiet night, I drifted into a deep, comforting sleep.

Until the tent flapped in what must have been a freak windstorm.

The cats pawed at the tent door and swiftly rushed out as I opened it, probably seeking shelter in something that wasn’t about to blow away. I, however, had no other choice.

I hunkered down and waited as the morning was a forbidding bluster of hail and wild gusts, turning my tent into a pitiful excuse of a fortress.

None of this had been in the forecast. It was like the mountain had turned on me overnight.

“Why? Why is this happeningnow?” I screamed at the wind as it whipped against the tent, hoping that oh-so-powerful Host up there heard me, too. “Why can’t I catch one single break? Isn’t it bad enough that I was left behind? Now, the one thing I’m trying to do to heal myself has to go wrong.”

The storm outside wasn’t half as bad as the one in my head. I wasmad. Mad at myself, mad at the weather, mad at the heavens, just a little bit mad at Caleb for having to go. The tent was too small to contain my raging emotions, so even though the gusts threatened to tear it away, I scrambled out of it.

“Is this all you got?” I yelled at the sky. “Don’t you want tothrow me off the side of the mountain? Or maybe break my leg so that I have to crawl back down, leaving my dignity behind?”

My voice was getting hoarse, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“It’s not fair! None of this! All I wanted was to find my future. Is this it? Is this the future that’s seeking me, a freak storm with runaway cats, and the love of my life leaving me behind? It’s not right!”

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