Assuming Caleb was out there, I hoped he was taking notes.
We strolled back to my apartment, Ethan ever the gentleman offering to walk me home. We made the last turn when he was still passionately explaining that the Bookish Cat might be the most important thing to a young boy someday.
“It was a book I found in a shop just like yours that changed everything for me, opened up a whole world below the surface and in towering mountains. Don’t underestimate how important your work is.”
“That’s very sweet of you to say, Ethan.”
Standing at the doorstep of my building, bathed in the soft glow of the light, there was a nagging pull at the back of my mind, the lurking presence that I’d felt all night. Caleb had to be out there somewhere, watching us.
“Well, this has been fun.” Ethan turned toward me, his eyes soft and kind. He extended his arms for what seemed like afriendly hug—and then I felt those watching eyes even stronger, waves of him reaching me, and it felt utterly unfair.
You can’t have it all, Caleb!
Before Ethan could reach me, I stepped forward and threw my arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. It was a desperate move, fueled by the irrational need to make a point.
The instant our lips met, I felt the sensation of being watched dissipate, like smoke being swept away by a gust of wind.
Caleb was gone.
But the kiss—um—could it even be called a kiss? It was more of an accident of two faces pushing together. There was no spark, no magic, just the touch of lips and the awkward fumbling of a man caught off guard.
It left me hollow inside instead of triumphant.
We pulled apart, and I could see the surprise mirrored in Ethan’s wide eyes.
“Well,” Ethan stammered, his cheeks flushing a shade of red. “I sure appreciate your enthusiasm, but…”
I forced a smile, trying to keep the mood light. “But we’re probably better off being just friends, right?”
“I’d love that.” He extended his hand, and I shook it, a formal end to an evening that had not gone as expected.
As he waved goodbye and walked away, I sighed. Anything I ever could have felt for Ethan had fizzled right out in the anticlimax of that kiss.
It was nothing like the kiss at Nana’s party. Nothing like Calebat all.God, everyone was measured against Caleb, and nobody ever compared.
I closed my apartment door behind me, stepping into the quiet emptiness of my apartment. Not a single cat in sight.Big surprise.
But with no distractions, no comforting purrs, it was just me and my swirling thoughts.
And I couldn’t handle it. If Caleb was going to be on my mind, then he might as well be in front of me. I resigned myself to the fact that as long as he was on this plane of existence, he was going to be a great big distraction. Maybe we couldn’t be togetherthat way, but my soul wouldn’t let me drop him like a hot potato either. He was watching me on the date because he cared. And I knew a part of him wished it could be different, too.
That’s what I felt when we made love, whether he wants to admit it or not.
Almost instinctively, I was out and walking toward the Showbox. There was still plenty of time before the late-night concert would begin.
And there he was, as if he’d been there all the time, staring at his phone with hunched shoulders, and for once, I was sure he didn’t know I was coming.
“So,” I said like it was the most normal thing in the world. “What’s the update on this couple we’re matching?”
TWENTY
Caleb
My brain hadto be short-circuiting; I’d finally lost it, seven years into my life as an earth-bound angel. Because there was no way I wasactuallyseeing Josie, here and now, after I humiliated her on her date. I’d followed their auras from afar, all the way back to her apartment, until it got too painful.
Even with my senses, I had to break it off when she pulled him in for a kiss.
And yet, instead of at home, having a post-date coffee with Ethan, she was… here?