Page 47 of When the Angel Falls First

I was falling. Falling from grace.

I sucked in a deep breath, then another, desperately tryingto let the anger and resentment and all those horrible things an angel wasn’t supposed to ever feelgo. I don’t know how long it took, but eventually the black receded from my vision, the normal golden halo at the edges of my life returning.

Thank fuck.

But I wasn’t out of the woods, not by a long shot. If sex with her could push me to the limits that quickly, there was no choice. I knew what I had to do.

Fix my matches and get as far away as possible from Josie—sooner rather than later. I knew she’d eventually find someone to marry and settle down with, but I couldn’t bear to stay here and watch it. I would fall from grace permanently, that demonic influence taking hold forever.

If I asked, the Host would probably assign me to matches on the other side of the globe for a few years, or fifty, until she’d passed on. It was my only chance of not turning against everything I stood for. If I stayed where she was, the constant temptation that was Josie would be too much for me to resist.

I stooda few dozen yards from the famous gum wall, trying to ignore the tourists taking selfies, and focusing on my match. The Showbox was buzzing, but I happened to know that there were two tickets waiting at “will call,” one under the name Jonathan Lyle and one under Kim Brezzo. The seats just happened to be next to each other. They’d been notified of the free tickets, and I was just waiting around for them to show up, so I could ensure the meeting went smoothly.

The problem was I couldn’t concentrate. I’d be homed in on Kim then find myself glaring at a tourist while I mentallywatched Ethan slick back his hair, wearing a… was that a tie covered inrocks?

Who was this bastard? Where had she found him?

And the question that hadreallybeen plaguing me since I’d left the Bookish Cat: if she’d had this guy in the wings, why makemeher fake date to Nana Geraldine’s birthday? Why reel me back in at all?

It didn’t make sense, and I hated that it didn’t make sense.

Maybe she was actually into you before you basically slammed the door in her face earlier. You screwed everything up when you turned your powers against her.

That’s how the fall started. It seemed innocent enough—that’s just a piece of fruit, over there. What’s the harm in one taste? One glorious, poisoned taste.

The tiny voice in my head was officially dead to me. I couldn’t go there. But what I wouldn’t give for things to be different. If only.

Voices around me slipped into the edge of my hearing.

“What is up with that guy?”

“I don’t know. He looks creepy. Let’s just… go to the other side of the street. Maybe we should call the cops. He’s been there a long time, and he looks suss.”

“Totalsuss.”

I cast a glance around to see who the tourists were planning to call the cops on—I could take care of any garden-variety criminal much more quickly than the police, after all—and realized with horror that it wasme.

Apparently, standing on street corners immobile while brooding made one looksuss, which I knew, thanks to a lovely little site called the Urban Dictionary, meant suspicious. Human language was always evolving, but it had gotten much easier to keep up with since the invention of technology.

Though I’d learned the hard way that it was best not to digtoodeeply into the Urban Dictionary.

I started moving, since I wasn’t anxious to coerce a few police officers into ignoring thesuss cupid, and causing a scene was bad form for both my lines of work.

If it wasn’t for bad form lately, would I have any form at all? That was a big fat no.

Keep it up and you’ll have a demon form.

That depressing thought could go straight to hell. I wasn’t going to let myself fall. If it came to that, I’d call Gabriel and ask him to take me out. Better to cease to exist than to turn into a demon.

I let my attention wander as I walked, not focusing on where my feet took me. The streets of Seattle were busy as always at this time of the evening, and it was easy to get lost in the mass of humanity. I let my senses go, ignoring the pull of so many people pressed so close. Twenty minutes of angelic-speed-walking later, I stopped on a quieter street, my head clearing as if from a fog.

When I looked up, I groaned. I was on the street next to a restaurant, and through the shiny glass entryway, I could see rock-tie guy nervously fiddling with his tie pin. I cast out my senses and sucked in a breath when I realized that Josie was nearby. If I didn’t move andfast, she’d see me loitering like a stalker on the street at her date.

The date she hadn’t told me the location of, nor invited me on.

Yeah, I was batting zero on the non-suspicious activities tonight.

She’s coming!

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