Page 26 of When the Angel Falls First

“Of course not. But I had crossed a line I was never supposed to. That was on me, not you, and it set off a chain of events, along with my already faltering performance, that tore me away from here. I’ve been in Seattle ever since I was sent back down to fix what I got wrong. I would have loved to see you sooner,but…” He bit his lip before answering. “But I was sure you had moved on, and I didn’t see you in the city, not once before now. I don’t know what I would have done if wehadcrossed paths, since I can’t be to you all I wanted to be back then.”

Back then.Meaning he didn’t want to be more to me now? It stung like a bitch, proving that the lies I’d been telling myself about keeping him at arm’s length for the sake of this party were just that—lies. He was so far under my skin, I would never get him out.

But that wasn’t all, was it? There was more there he wasn’t saying.

“Let me get this straight,” I said, but my tone was already softening, the realization of his condition coming clearer now as I moved past my own hurt feelings. “Your life is devoted to love, but you’re never allowed to have it? You’re just always on the outside, watching?”

Caleb, taken aback, fell silent. He stared at me, his ocean-blue eyes clouded with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. It seemed like my words had struck him more deeply than I’d intended.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he exhaled a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of centuries. His voice was soft when he responded, laden with an ache that was probably a lot like my own.

“I never thought about it that way before, Josie,” he admitted, an undercurrent of sorrow threading through his words. His gaze fell to his hands, clasped tightly in his lap. “That I’m always on the periphery. I write the love story—I don’t live it. But you have to know, Josie… you’re human.”

“Newsflash!” I couldn’t stop myself from tossing some sarcasm his way. “Josephine Ray is indeed one-hundred percent human.”

He tilted his head, smiling at my childish outburst, but reached out, his hand hovering over mine—so gently that the heat emanating off it was the only sign it was there. “It’s never been done before, an angel having a human Chosen.”

His voice trailed off as his hand retreated, the depth of his loneliness resonating in the silence that followed. We sat there, suspended in the hush of the fancy restaurant, enveloped by the soft clinks of cutlery and hushed conversations from the surrounding tables. The pain in Caleb’s voice, raw and unfiltered, hung heavy in the air between us.

Chosen.A shiver came over me as the sensation of pins and needles left me breathless. Something in that word, the power of the single word—Chosen—froze me in place.

But it couldn’t be that simple, not just plain old soul mates like Caleb matched. Not even the ‘meant-to-be’ of the romance novels that filled the shelves of the Bookish Cat. Caleb inhaled deeply before continuing.

“I thought you and I were different, meant to be. I wasso certain.I hope you know I would have never crossed those lines if I’d known.”

“Known what?” I pressed, needing to hear it, even though every word was cutting me open, slowly killing me inside.

“Known that Icouldn’tbe with you. You deserve better than a broken man, half of what he should be. One who can’t even give you what you deserve, a lifetime commitment. I can’t ever be with a human, no matter how it feels.Felt.” The correction was just another blow, piled on top of the dozens before it. “Josie, they took my wings. I got called back to the Host, and they stripped me of the very thing that made me an angel. I’m fallen now, broken. I’m not worthy to takeanyChosen, let alone you.”

His confession left me yearning to reach across the tableand soothe the pain in his eyes. Instead, all I could do was squeeze my hands under the table, my nails digging into my palms, while I swallowed down the urge to comfort him. He really thought that? That he was somehow worth less or unlovable because they’d taken his wings?

There were no words that could capture what I wanted him to hear. That I’d felt all those things, too, but the difference was I still felt them now. We held our eyes on each other—me waiting for him, him waiting for me—yet the silence spoke loudly of all we wished we could say, and couldn’t.

Because there was only one choice left for us—leave behind the past seven years of anguish, and accept that we couldn’t bethat waytogether… ever. But now that we both knew, maybe there could still be a place for each other in our lives.

“Coffee?” The maître d’ reappeared.Again.

A part of me really wanted to smack that customer-service grin right off his face, but at the same time, we could finally breathe. There was nothing more to say on that topic, not now.

“Maybe some dessert isn’t such a bad idea after all,” I said, giving a half-smile as a peace offering to Caleb.

“Yes.” He nodded slowly, taking in my expression as if he were reading me somehow. “Dessert is a great idea.”

The maître d’ bowed his departure as if he knew all along, leaving Caleb and me in what had become a very awkward silence. We both started to speak at the same time.

“We don’t have to talk about that.”

“I wish there was something I could say.”

We smiled meekly at each other, a new understanding growing between us. We were who we were at that moment,notwho we were seven years ago. The surety was palpable inside me. We could do this. We could be friends.

I folded my napkin and dramatically set it on the table to set a new mood. “Mr. Caleb Cupid, I believe we have some other unfinished business involving my immediate and extended family.”

He caught onto my tone and straightened his collar with a grin. “Yes, ma’am, we definitely do. I believe you were going to tell me more about this stubborn brother of yours.”

“Oh, if you think he’s stubborn, wait until I tell you about what my father said to me the last time we spoke five months ago.”

Caleb narrowed his eyes. “I’m ready, but fair warning, I have a feeling ‘stubborn’ just might run in the family.”

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