Page 135 of Cash

Come to think of it, I’ve never feltlesslonely than I do when I’m with him. And the knowledge that Cash is here to face this with me is wonderfully affirming.

What if it felt like this all the time?

What if I had Cash by my side as I faced the rest of my life? Something tells me we’d make a really great team as we stared down life’s challenges. Celebrated its joys.

Here, in his arms, I feel like I could get through anything as long as he was with me.

I feel mushy and vulnerable andloved.

I cry harder.

“Aw, honey, I’m sorry you’re scared.” He presses a kiss into my hair. “Talk to me.”

“My doctor said the pill should be really effective. But obviously?—”

“We don’t use backup.”

“Right.” I truly have lost count of how many times Cash has come inside me in the past few weeks. Twenty? Fifty? Five hundred?

I also wonder if the way he, ahem, pushes his cum back inside me could lead to a higher chance of getting pregnant. Ican’t imagine itdidn’thelp his sperm possibly find a rogue egg.

“Let’s drive into town, then. Get you some tests.”

I look up at him, puzzled by the calm, cool way he’s handling this. “You don’t seem upset.”

“Should I be?” He tucks my hair behind my ear as he thumbs away my tears. The tenderness of his touch takes my breath away. “I don’t mean to make you feel wrong for bein’ scared. We obviously didn’t plan this. But if I’m being honest…”

My heart beats hard and fast as I wait for him to finish that thought. Cash has been open about wanting a family of his own. So have I.

But it’s way too soon, right, to have a baby together? I mean, yeah, Cash has practically moved me in with him. And he looks after me. And makes sure I’m fed, and comfortable, and happy. He asks about my work. Takes an interest in my opinions. He doesn’t ever look at anyone else, and he only ever dances and drinks with me when we’ve been out at The Rattler.

I come first. Literally and figuratively.

Is Cash in love with me too?

Looking into his eyes, I see softness and concern.

I see interest. A little heat.

They’realive. Not tired or clouded over the way they were when I first met him. And isn’t that love? Someone else making you feel thrilled you exist despite the hardship and the heartache life brings?

I’m gripped by the need to tell him about my conversation with Mom. How the stipulation has been struck down. But if I do that, I’m going to have to tell him how I feel. It’s only fair he knowswhyI’m so torn over what to do next.

Will Cash want me to stay in Hartsville? Or will he make a fool of me for thinking I ever belonged here?

“Well,” he says at last, “let’s get the tests and go from there, okay?”

My heart turns over. I blink. “Okay.”

“Whatever happens, Mollie, we’ll be all right. I promise.”

Because Cash is the kind of man who keeps his promises, I believe him.

On the ride into town, I text Patsy to tell her Cash and I won’t be at supper. When she asks if we’re okay, I tell her we’re fine and that we’ll see her at breakfast. My heart swells at her offer to wrap up some leftovers for us.

Patsy Powell

I’ll leave them in the fridge for whenever y’all get hungry. Thinking of you two.

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