Page 126 of Bound By Revenge

He pauses, and I hold my breath, afraid that any movement or word might make him change his mind.

“I don’t remember exactly how old I was when I met Maxim,” he begins. “Maybe ten? Something like that. Maxim was about the same age, but he’d been on his own a lot longer. I’d just been kicked out by my parents, but Maxim—he’d already been surviving by himself for years. We clicked fast. We always looked out for each other, even before thebratvacame along.”

His shoulders tense, and his voice drops slightly. “But thebratvadid come along, as it always does for boys in our position. Things could've changed then, but they didn’t. Somehow, we stuck together.”

He shifts his weight slightly, his hands still buried in his pockets. “Things were different in those days—dangerous foryoungshestyorkalike us. Before I becamepakhan, it was brutal. I like to think I’ve made things better now—that we take care of our own. But back then... back then, it was survival of the fittest.”

His voice tightens as he adds, “Maxim and I were so young, so hungry for something more. We were desperate. We had nothing to lose but each other. And, Kat, a man with nothing to lose is the most dangerous kind there is. That’s how we survived, how we rose through the ranks. It’s how I became thepakhan. But...” He trails off, laughing bitterly under his breath. “I’m rambling.”

He shakes his head, and before I can stop myself, I step forward and press a kiss to his back. “Nik?—”

He picks up right where he left off, like I hadn’t even interrupted. “We were still pretty young when I found the Flame of Mir. Maxim was over the moon about it. He thought it was some kind of sign—a good omen for everything we wanted to do. He kept saying I should sell it, use the money to get a head start on taking over thebratva. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

He pauses, shaking his head slightly. “Maybe I bought into his sentimental nonsense, or maybe I just wasn’t ready to let it go. Either way, I kept it. And, over time, it became... more than just a diamond to me. It was a reminder of how far I’d come, of everything I’d survived to get to where I was. When I looked at it, I felt... proud. Like I’d made something of myself despite all the shit life threw at me.

“But it was more than that. It reminded me of Maxim. He was there through it all—the good, the bad, everything in between. I couldn’t have done any of it without him.”

His words hit me like a gut punch. My chest tightens, and guilt twists in my stomach like a knife. I didn’t just steal a diamond. I stole this. Something that meant so much more than money ever could.

And I didn’t just take it—I handed it over to thestronzo.

Completely unaware of the chaos churning inside me, Nik keeps talking. “I was young when I became thepakhan. Too young. My position wasn’t secure back then, and I was terrified of losing everything I’d fought for. Most of the other families didn’t trust me at first. They stayed neutral, waiting to see if I could hack it.”

“But McGuire...” He pauses, his jaw tightening before he goes on. "McGuire was different. He reached out to me, said he wanted to mentor me, even offered to support me publicly. That would’ve been huge, Kat. The Irish have always controlled the port. Having him on my side? That would’ve been a game changer.”

Nik exhales slowly, his shoulders tensing. “We got close, or at least I thought we did. He started confiding in me about trouble with his men. Said he was worried about his daughter, that some of his guys were causing problems and she might not be safe. So I offered a solution. Someone from outside his ranks to protect her. Someone he could trust.”

Maxim.

I hold my breath, tightening my arms around Nik’s waist, hoping he doesn’t notice the way my hands are shaking.

His fingers brush over mine absently, and he exhales before continuing, his voice quieter now, almost hollow.

“You can probably guess what happened next,” he says. “I gave McGuire my best man—Maxim. I couldn’t stop singing his praises. Told McGuire how he was the most trustworthy, capable guy I had. There was no one better for the job, no one I trusted more. McGuire ate it up. By then, everyone had heard about my takeover of thebratva, and Maxim’s reputation had skyrocketed along with mine. I was so damn proud of myself, Kat. I thought I’d solved McGuire’s problem and secured an ally for life.”

He laughs bitterly, his voice dropping. “But then I found out about him and Erin. Maxim told me it wasn’t just a fling, thathe cared about her. Really cared. And he wanted me to back him up.” He shakes his head, his body stiffening against me. “But I couldn’t. Erin wasn’t just some girl—she was McGuire’s daughter. Worse, she was promised to Lorenzo Salvatore since they were kids. The heir of the Italian family.”

Hearing the name, I freeze. My body stiffens before I can stop it. I’ve never met Lorenzo, but his uncle—thestronzo—is a name I know all too well. Forcing myself to relax, I bury the tension and pray Nik doesn’t notice.

But he’s too lost in his story to look closely at me. He keeps going, his voice gaining a harder edge. “When it came out that Erin and Maxim were together, the engagement was broken. McGuire was furious. He lost his alliance with the Italians, and he blamed Maxim for it. Said he’d ‘ruined’ Erin.” His lips press into a tight line. “And Giuseppe Salvatore—Lorenzo’s uncle—wasn’t any better. He demanded Maxim pay for the humiliation. And me? I was still new to this, Kat. I had no idea how to handle something like that. I couldn’t risk a war withbothfamilies.”

He pauses, his jaw tightening. “McGuire demanded Maxim’s death. Said it was the only way to fix things. And the Italians backed him up. They wanted blood.”

Nik’s voice falters, and he exhales heavily. “I talked McGuire down, got him to agree to exile instead of execution. I thought I was doing the right thing. I convinced myself I was saving Maxim’s life. But to Maxim, it didn’t feel like saving. It felt like betrayal.”

He’s quiet for a moment, his breathing uneven. “He begged me to stand by him, Kat. Told me how much he loved her, how she was everything to him. But I didn’t help him. I sent him away. I sent him to Russia, back to where we started. And for what? To keep McGuire happy? To stop a war I wasn’t ready to fight? I thought I was protecting him, but all I did was take away the one thing that mattered to him.”

I tighten my grip on him, but he keeps going, his voice lower now, thick with emotion. “I didn’t understand back then. I didn’t know what it would feel like to lose someone like that. But now? Now I have you, and I can’t stop thinking about it. If someone tried to take you from me—if I was in Maxim’s shoes—I don’t know what I’d do. And knowing that, knowing what I stole from him... it eats at me every damn day.”

“Nik,” I breathe, my voice barely above a whisper, my heart breaking at the pain in his voice.

His hand closes over mine, lifting it to his lips. He presses a kiss there, soft and almost absent, before resting it back against his stomach.

“I tried to fix it,” he murmurs. “Eventually, I felt like thebratvaand I were strong enough that I could bring Maxim back, make things right. But McGuire made sure I never got the chance. Now all I have left are regrets. Everything I never got to say to him.”

I can’t take it anymore. I move around to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my lips to his.

"No," I whisper when I pull back, meeting his tormented gaze. “That’s not all you have. I didn’t know Maxim, but I know you. You loved him, and he loved you—that’s why it hurts so much. You keep him with you every day. I see it in the way you talk about him, in everything you do. And that bond? No one—not McGuire, not Salvatore, not anyone—can take that from you.”

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