Page 72 of When You Saved Me

There was a scratching sound at the door that led back into the house. Popping my head up, I listened a little closer.

Tck, tck, tck.

Cold air started to settle over my skin now that I was nolonger working. I rubbed the old hand towel from my work bench over my arms to get the sweat off before I headed for the door to see what was scraping against it.

When I opened the door, Casper meowed at me. Kneeling, I rubbed under his jaw and he jumped up, pawing at me.

“I know, little rascal. I’ve fucked up with your mom and I need to make it right.”

He meowed louder this time, almost seeming distressed. That’s when I realized there were no other sounds in the house. Not footsteps on the floor, or the clattering of dishes while Charlie made hot chocolate. There wasn’t the faint sound of a brush striking canvas either.

My heart leapt as I picked Casper up and headed down the hallway back to the main part of the house.

“Charlie!” I called out.

No answer.

I could feel my heartbeat in my ears.

“Charlie!” I said again, this time louder.

Still, nothing.

Picking up my pace, I nearly jogged into the living room to find it empty. I scanned the area and found that her easel and paints were right where she left them.

A long breath left my lungs as I exhaled in relief. She was probably just out on the front porch. Now that the snow had mostly melted down, she was spending a lot more time outside. She’d told me a few nights ago that it was part of her creative process. Just being outside and observing the world before she sat down to paint.

“Let’s go find her,” I said to Casper who gave me a littlechirp in response. It was time for me to pull my head out of my ass and talk to her. Asshole didn’t even begin to cover what I’d been to her the last twenty-four hours. She deserved better and if I had a chance in hell in making this work with her, I was going to have to let her in.

Fully.

No more walls.

No more barriers.

No more running away.

With Casper in tow, I headed for the front door but stopped when I passed the kitchen. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a piece of paper under the mug she’d been using all day.

Moving closer, I noticed there was writing on it. Breaking my own rule, I set Casper onto the counter and slipped the note from under the mug.

Deacon,

I’m starting to think that we’ve both been in this cabin for a little too long, so I’m going to head into town for a bit to get some fresh air…and a better perspective. After what happened yesterday, I know that you’re hurting. Some part of you always has the need to protect. I think that’s because you’ve lost so many people at such a young age. You’ve seen things that no one should have to witness. And because of that, there’s a wall around your heart.

At first, I thought the wall was too thick. I’d never be able to get through to you. But since the first day I saw you, there’s always been a tether between us—drawing us to one another. Maybe I’m just crazy and have had my parentsinstill too much woo-woo stuff in me, but I know in the deepest parts of my heart that I belong here with you. Once you showed me the true version of yourself, the one you keep hidden behind that wall, I knew you were it for me.

There is no one in this world I could feel the same for.

You’re the one my heart yearns for. The one I want to hold me. …To love me.

God, I hope I’m not crazy and you feel the same. But even if you don’t, I can feel good knowing that you know exactly what you mean to me.

And if I’m not crazy and you do feel the same, I also want you to know I will be here. Right by your side, helping to chase away the darkness.

Love,

Charlie

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