Page 53 of When You Saved Me

There was too much joy in this world to let fear control me. But the happiness I’d found with Deacon was a once in a lifetime kind of happiness. Deep in my bones, I knew it. Knew how rare it was.

I just hoped I was right about the tether that connected us and this wasn’t some cruel trick of fate.

Sighing, I gave myself one last glance in the mirror before I went to his linen closet to grab him a towel since his last one was in the washer.

I opened the door, and my gaze trailed upward where a puzzle box sat on the top shelf. Securing my towel around me, I reached for the box and pulled it down and laughed. On the top of the box was an image of puppies playing in a field. There were too many to count. Most of them had their mouths wide open ready to chomp their neighbor or were getting ready to take a bite of grass.

My heart warmed at the picture and thinking of Deacon trying to match the pieces of their adorable little faces.

“Hey, Sunshine,” Deacon called through the closed bathroom door. “Is it my turn yet?”

“Almost!” I said back, not quite ready to give up the space.

Sunshine… The nickname he’d chosen for me made my heart burst with glee. It was such a sweet name. Bright and lovely. So different from thebaby girlhe’d chosen for when we were intimate.

Two nicknames.

Two versions of our relationship.

What about the third version?The one where he ran away from us. From what we had together. There was a darkness in Deacon that had been created from the war he’d fought in and the awful things he’d witnessed as a firefighter. Those parts held onto him and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was room for them between us. Or if those parts would eventually drag me down too.

I shook my head, trying to loosen the doubt. My heart tugged and I knew I was falling for Deacon. It was one thing to think about the possibilities between us and quite another to have them starting to play out. To see his brilliant smile at something I said. To feel the warmth of his embrace and the pure ecstasy that came from his touch.

Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply. If I was going to ask him to be brave and to give us a fair chance, I needed to do the same thing.

Opening my eyes, I reached for the handle and opened the bathroom door to find Deacon laying on his bed, arms bent wide as he rested the back of his head in his hands.

With the puzzle box in tow, I climbed onto his bed and straddled him. He shifted his arms and settled his hands on my hips and smiled at me. I smiled back as I lifted the box in front of him.

“Puppies?” I asked with a smirk.

He took the box and assessed it. “I haven’t looked at this in a long time.”

“I knew you were a big softy behind all that grump, but I didn’t take you as the puzzle making type.”

The smile he wore dropped slightly, but it didn’t go away completely as he said, “I did a lot of puzzles with my friends overseas. There’s a lot of down time when you get deployed and one of my buddies would always bring a puzzle with us. They’d always be of something sickeningly adorable. I think it helped for us to look at something that didn’t have to do with violence and death. Even if it was just an image printed onto puzzle pieces.”

I swallowed, my stomach sinking at the thought of Deacon being exposed to so much horror.

“I brought this one on our last deployment, but we never got to make it. My friend was killed in action before I even had a chance to show it to him.”

“Oh, Deacon.” I reached for his hand, surprised when he didn’t pull away from me. “I’m so sorry.”

Glassy eyes looked up at me. It was the first time I’d seen past his wall with clarity. He was hurting and all I wanted to do was make it stop. But that wasn’t for me to decide. Sometimes, we just had to live through the hurt.

“Why don’t we make it now. In his honor.” It was a boldmove. One I wasn’t sure was even right in this situation. I’d never known someone who had lost friends in war. Maybe I was stepping out of line.

Deacon sniffed and cleared his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

“Really?” I tried not to sound too surprised, but excitement flared in my chest.

“Only if you make us some hot chocolate first.” He patted the side of my hip and I slid off of him.

“Now that is something I can definitely do.”

“Casper!” Deacon and I both scolded him at the same time as he blinked at us innocently before swatting another puzzle piece to the floor.

Deacon leaned out of his chair and picked up the piece. “See! Unpredictable.”

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