Page 49 of When You Saved Me

Last night had changed a part of me that I wasn’t prepared for. I was falling for her. This woman who hadbarreled into my life, unannounced and without abandon. A part of me had known there was something between us. The day of the fire, and my inability to make things right with her after, were a testament to that truth. A string of some sort had tied us together. Binding our souls…if that was even a thing.

God. I sounded like a fucking puppy dog who’d been at the shelter for too long and just wanted a home of his own. If my guys were still here, they’d be giving me shit for how tightly I was wrapped around her dainty little finger.

Charlie Banks was doing strange things to me. I watched her delicate neck bend as she tilted her head to the side to get a different perspective on her painting, and I felt it. That incessant pull to be near her. To hear her sweet laughter and to feel her supple body pressed against me with nothing between us. I wanted to sink into her. To stare at those beautiful depthless eyes forever.

And it fucking terrified me.

But I couldn’t let the fear in. If I did, I’d fuck this all to hell and end up chasing her away. And all I wanted was for her to stay right here with me.

“Mmm, something smells amazing!” she called out, not knowing I was only a few paces behind her. Frozen. Like a fucking coward.

I’d managed to keep myself in check since last night but allowing myself to be vulnerable wasn’t something I was used to and my grip on this new experience was starting to slip.

Before I had a chance to get my shit together, Charliespun around on the wooden work stool I’d brought in for her from the garage.

“Good morning, handsome!” Her cheery voice was like a knife to the heart.

Don’t fuck this up, Deacon.Don’t you dare fuck this up.

She hopped off the stool and bounded toward me, Casper followed in her footsteps, prancing beside her. The smile she gave me was brilliant, like the first rays of sunshine casting through a cloud after endless rain. Warm and striking. It took the breath from my lungs.

“Is this one for me?” Completely unaware of my stupor, she nodded toward the plate in my hand.

“Yes,” I finally managed to say. The single word response seemed to break me from the shackles I’d put around my own mind. “I thought you might be hungry after all the work you’ve been doing.”

Despite our time together last night, she’d gotten up with the sun and set up her art corner in my living room before I’d made it out of bed. Seeing all her things there, like her art supplies belonged in my home, had awoken some insurmountable fear in me. This feeling that I had to protect her at all costs. And everywhere I looked there was a looming threat, waiting to take her away from me.

“That’s so sweet of you.” She took the plate from me and slid her other arm around my waist. “I really appreciate you doing that. I was going to makeyoubreakfast before you woke up, but I got so carried away with my work.”

I pulled her close against me, not wanting to let her go. There was no resistance as she settled her cheek against mybare rib cage. Right against the scar that mirrored hers. A constant reminder of my failure. Despite her telling me the injury wasn’t my fault, I knew better. I’d taken seconds of precious time letting my emotions take over when I should have focused on getting her to safety.

Something snagged at my heartstrings with brute force as she kissed my forearm that was wrapped around her.

I was starting to lose it. The control I exerted over every part of my life. The one thing that had kept me from cracking under all the pressure I’d been through in my life.

I needed to step away. If I didn’t rein things in…I squeezed my eyes shut as my heart rate skyrocketed and my breaths quickened.

“Are you okay?” Charlie tilted her head back to look up at me. Placing a hand over my heart, I stilled, wondering if she could feel what was happening inside my body.

“I’m fine. I was just…wanting to take a closer look at your painting.” I couldn’t look at her. Because if I did, everything would come crumbling down and I needed to regain control.

She paused for a moment, and I knew she was questioning whether or not I was telling the truth. Thankfully, she didn’t push it. Instead, she let go of her hold on me and walked back toward the painting.

It took me a moment, but with a deep breath in, I let my shoulders drop and tried to empty the worries from my mind and followed her to her easel.

Setting the plate of food down on the small side table, she turned to me. “What do you see?”

“In the painting?” I asked.

“Yeah. What do you see?” The blue in her eyes shone with delight that had my chest cracking in two; widening further so that there was room for these new feelings. Feelings I hadn’t let myself experience for a very long time.

It was startling and exciting and fucking terrifying.

I couldn’t let myself lose focus. I couldn’t let myself slip back to that place of fear. So, I looked at her painting and tried to focus.

At first glance, I saw exactly what it was. An image of my tiny cabin’s backyard. It was beautiful and appeared effortless. All the colors blended together just like they did in nature.

The longer I stared at it, though, the more I started to see beyond the initial image. I saw the depiction of the forest and river through Charlie’s eyes. The wayshewanted it to be seen. Where the river was normally tumultuous and violent with its rapids over the rocks, she’d painted it as serene. Tranquil likeness of the trees were highlighted with a light layer of fog. Not eerie and unnerving. But soothing and inviting. It was…peaceful.

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