Page 35 of When You Saved Me

His voice was oddly clear and steady as he said, “I need to look you in your eyes when I say this.”

Oh.

Wavering back a little, I was perplexed by his words and the sudden willingness to answer my question. Or at least I hoped he was going to answer it.

The strength seemed to leave him a little as he wobbled slightly to the right. Perspiration formed over his brows and upper lip and as sick as he looked, he was still the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.

His nostrils flared as he took a steadying breath in and settled his gaze on me. I worried my bottom lip, wondering what he was going to say to me.

“I made a lot of mistakes the day of that fire. For one, I wasn’t even supposed to be there. I was off duty when I was walking by the building and saw what was happening. Going in without any gear put my fellow firefighters at risk worrying about my safety. But I wouldn’t change thatdecision for anything because you wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gone in.”

Chills skated along my skin because he was right. If Deacon hadn’t come into my apartment when he did, I would have died probably a minute or two later. I shook the image out of my mind. I didn’t want to think about those moments sitting terrified in the corner of my bedroom yelling as loudly as I could for someone to find me before it was too late.

“When I first heard your screams, I thought it was just the roar of the fire. I was on my way back down to aid with the survivors on the ground, but something kept telling me to keep going. When I saw you, I…” His throat worked as he swallowed and his grip on my hands tightened. “I’d never seen someone so beautiful before. Even through all the fear on your face, I saw hope shining in your blue eyes.”

I sat completely still, not fully trusting my ears. Was I hearing things correctly? Deacon thought I was beautiful from the first moment he saw me, in my most vulnerable state, clinging to life as I had tried shrinking my body under the cover of the small wet towel.

I couldn’t believe it.

But I also knew in my heart it was true. Because it had been his face I’d focused on when the edges of my vision started to fade. His voice, urging me to stay with him had kept me tethered tolife.

Something had happened between us that day. At first, I thought maybe it was just the trauma of what we’d both gone through together. Especially, when our first greeting since the fire hadn’t been the most comforting.

Everything was shifting now. The puzzle pieces sliding into place. And I still couldn’t move, could hardly think with Deacon’s hands on me.

There was an earnestness in his voice as he continued. “I’ve been in many dangerous situations over the course of my careers. Moments that I will never have the heart to speak about.” His eyes cast downward, and I could feel the weight of those memories hanging in the air between us. I rubbed my thumbs across the edge of his palms, needing to do something to help me feel more grounded.

“Many of those moments, I could see when hope would leave the people around me. It looked as though a flash of realization swarmed them and suddenly fear took over. A thousand times, I’ve seen that happen, but not with you. Not even when you were minutes away from the most painful death there is.”

I stopped breathing when his hand moved to cup the side of my face. Every part of me was bare to him. Deacon had seen something in me that I hadn’t even seen in myself.

“You were the most magnificent thing I’d ever witnessed in my entire life, Charlie. And it scared the hell out of me.” His voice shook and I knew it wasn’t because of the sickness. Then his hand fell from my face, and I hated the cold that was left in its absence.

“That’s why you slammed the door in my face. You were shocked to see me.” My voice was barely above a whisper and the words felt thick on my tongue like I hadn’t spoken in a long time.

The green of his eyes flickered as he nodded. “Shocked is an understatement.”

I looked down where our hands were still joined. His were so large compared to mine and it made me remember how he’d held me that day, rushing us through the threatening flames. How, even now, I could feel the heat licking along my skin. My scar ached at the memory of its creation. But I didn’t move to touch it. Not now.

“What about now?” Heart racing, I gazed up at him through my lashes.

His chest expanded on a deep inhale.

“Now, I don’t want to let you out of my sight for a single second. And I don’t plan to.”

My heart soared and a wild giddiness took hold in my chest.

“You don’t plan to?”

His fingers gripped my chin as he came in close. “Not a fucking chance.”

We spent the next two days in bed together as I forced him to relax instead of trying to finish projects he had around the house. Casper was perfectly content snoozing on the foot of the bed while I monitored Deacon’s fever and gave him scalp massages for his headache.

By the time supper rolled around last night, his fever hadbroken. Tonight he was feeling almost like his usual self again and he was able to move into the kitchen with me while I worked on making soup. Minestrone to be exact.

“I can handle this, you know.” I waved the wooden spoon in his direction. “You should be laying on the couch and getting some more rest.”

“I’ve been resting all day, smalls. You’re lucky I didn’t try to bust out of that room hours ago. I thought I was going to lose my mind.”

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