Page 18 of When You Saved Me

Since moving to Pebble Brook Falls, I’d found a way to open up to my friends. Johnny had been inthe military, so he knew the cost those years took from all of us enlisted. He understood what it meant to be forced to make fast decisions and have your comrades’ lives in your hands. It took a while, but when it was just the two of us, I was able to talk about my past. Not much, but enough that I was able to let some of the steam out.

Sarah had taken a less gentle approach over the years and basically forced me to be friends with her. We had an unspoken agreement though. She knew when she was inching too close to my edge and backed off before I had to tell her to.

I had the two of them and it had been enough for me. Now that Charlie was in the picture, I had no idea how to feel or what to think. Part of me wanted to lean in. To stop being so damn closed off. But the second I thought the words might slip from my lips, I clamped up.

Last night was a colossal fuck up and I would have to pay the consequences of seeing Charlie’s disappointment when I went to the cabin this afternoon to work on the dock.

I ran a hand over my face and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Coffee. I desperately needed coffee.

Meandering through my living room toward the kitchen, my heart kicked into high gear when I heard a knock on my door.

Judging by the lack of sun coming through the windows, it was barely sunrise. I reached for the doorknob and turned it. As the door swung open, I was shocked to find Charlie standing on my front porch.

A rose color bloomed across her cheeks from the cold air,making her freckles stand out even more. The ball at the tip of her nose was rosy too and I found myself wanting to pull her into my arms to ward off the frost that was biting her skin.

Instead, I stood there frozen.

I hadn’t noticed she was carrying something until her arms extended and I looked down to see a woven basket filled with what looked to be chocolate muffins. Most of them had sunken middles and dilapidated tops.

“I brought you these as a thank you for taking care of the chimney last night. And…” Her cheeks hollowed out and her gaze shifted to the ground between us. When she looked back up at me, I hated that there was conflict dancing in her eyes. “For making you feel uncomfortable with all of my questions. I have a tendency to pry, and I know it’s not always fair for the person on the receiving end of the questioning.”

When I didn’t take the basket of muffins, she set the basket down on the ground, then she shifted to the side like she was about to walk away.

I’d already made such a mess of things last night, the last thing I wanted to do was make her feel bad again.

“Wait,” I called out to her before she started making her way down the steps. She turned around, sunset colored hair flitting in the winter breeze. God, she was so beautiful. Charlie didn’t belong in this cold tundra. But somehow, she’d found her way here and every chance I got, I ruined things between us.

I reached for the basket of muffins, and she handed itover to me. “You didn’t have to go through all that trouble. I was happy to fix the chimney. It’s part of my job description as the landlord anyway.”

“Right.” She smiled sheepishly like she’d forgotten that part of the rental agreement. “Well, thank you anyway.”

I nodded.

Gesturing toward her car over her shoulder with her thumb, she said, “Well, I’m going to get back. I hope you enjoy the muffins.”

“I’m sure I will.” I cleared my throat. “Oh, and I’ll be by the cabin later this afternoon to start working on the dock.”

“Great!” Her voice hitched up a few octaves. “See you then.” Long curls bounced up and down as she turned and headed down the stairs toward her car. I was thankful that this time she chose to wear loose sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt. Though, it didn’t make watching her walk away any easier.

When she was in her car, I shut the door and set the basket of muffins on the kitchen counter. Charlie’s presence this morning was like a ray of sunshine beaming through the dark clouds that always seemed to follow me around.

I knew that anyone who was close to Charlie had a significant gift in their life. She clearly wanted to get to know me, and I was a fool who couldn’t keep the past where it belonged.

There was a nagging sensation in the back of my mind telling me Charlie was right. This all happened for a reason and the more I resisted it, the harder it was going to be for me.

The only thing I wanted after the war and after the fire was to find peace. I’d paid my dues in life and now was the time for me to rest. The problem was that it had already been a week since Charlie moved into the cabin, and I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep.

Something needed to change.

I just wasn’t sure what that something was.

Frustrated with myself, I snatched one of the chocolate muffins from the basket and bit into it. Dry chunks of batter mixed with undercooked parts melded together in my mouth, creating a doughy paste.

“Blugh,” I groaned before flipping up the garbage bin lid and spitting the bite of muffin into the trash. Then I moved to the kitchen sink, dunking my lips under the running faucet to gather some water in my mouth. I swished it back and forth and spit it out to clear the rest of my mouth.

That was fucking terrible.

As I stood there alone in my kitchen with the bundle of Charlie’s muffins sitting on the counter, I smiled to myself for the first time in a really long time. Warmth spread down my neck, to my chest. The sensation felt bizarre, yet comforting. Like seeing an old friend after years of time had changed him.

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