Page 77 of When You Saved Me

There was aslight lift in my chest when Sarah and Ranger rounded the corner of the nurses’ station.

They came. I needed them…and they came.

It wasn’t lost on me how this singular moment had already transformed my entire life. The walls I’d built so high around me had turned to ash on the ground the moment I saw Charlie’s car on the side of the road. And those ashes scattered to the wind when I saw her hurt. There was nothing left of the man I was before. The only thing that mattered was getting her to come back to me.

“Deacon!” Sarah jogged toward me. I rose from where I’d made my permanent seat outside of Charlie’s room. The doctors were still working on her. They’d threatened to call security and kick me out if I didn’t leave her bedside. One of the nurses had walked me out and calmed me down right before I’d called Sarah.

I hugged Sarah fiercely when she crossed the final foot between us. Ranger came in right after and wrapped his arms around the both of us.

My friends.

Myfamily.

Why had I closed myself off to them for so long?

Regret threatened my sanity, but I shoved it out. I was here now. I wasdifferentnow. I could start over…I hoped.

The three of us held onto one another. I needed this. Ineededthem. I’d been broken for so long that I’d forgotten to look up and see that there were people right in front of me who had my back. Who would show up when I called them. Who would help me when I needed them.

As we parted, Sarah slid her arm around Ranger’s waist and she asked, “What happened, Deacon?”

Emotion clogged my throat again, making it difficult for me to speak. So, I took in a deep breath and tried to let my muscles loosen. It worked. Slightly.

“I fucked up, Sarah.” Tears welled in my eyes again. “I fucked up really bad.”

She reached for my hand and squeezed it.

Then, Ranger spoke. “You’re a good guy, Deacon. So, whatever happened…we can fix this together.”

He gave me a smile and it made me think that he might be right. No matter what happened, I could fix everything between Charlie and me.

Then, like I’d always done, my mind went to darker places. Worries of whether or not I would have the chance. If she would make it out of this nightmare okay. Or if I would be the cause of losing the most important person in my life.

I shook my head, trying to eradicate the thoughts from my mind. I had to hold onto hope.

“She’s the one, isn’t she?” Sarah asked, still holding my hand.

The question struck me like a blow to the gut.

I knew she wasn’t just talking about the scar on my chest and that Charlie had a role in that story. She was saying thatCharlie was my person. The one I wanted to spend the rest of my days with.

Pausing, I thought about everything Charlie and I had been through together already. How deeply I’d always been affected by her. In the beginning, it wasn’t just because she’d been a reminder of one of my greatest failures.

No.

When Charlie showed up on my front doorstep, I’d been stricken by her existence. Because she made mefeel. Just her presence had broken through my barriers, and they were made of fucking steel. No one got past them. Except for Charlie.

Looking at Sarah I nodded, feeling the weight of that admission. For so long, I thought I was going to end up alone. That Ideservedto be alone.

But that thread that had bound us together since the beginning had brought her to me weeks ago. I had to believe it would bring her back to me now.

“I think I knew it back then.” I looked at Ranger and explained, “Seven years ago, when I was back in Charlotte, I saved Charlie from her apartment building when it caught on fire.”

I thought back to that time and how even in the midst of a life-threatening situation, she had taken my breath away. With her crystal blue eyes and bright red hair. God. If I was honest with myself, some part of me had probably loved her even back then.

“She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen and she…terrified me. When we were both injured and wound up inthe same hospital, I didn’t visit her. She was on the opposite side of the floor. I knew exactly what room she was in, but I didn’t visit her. I…couldn’t.”

Ranger gripped my shoulder and looked me straight in the eyes. “Sometimes the thing we want most in life scares the hell out of us. It’s embarrassing to admit the number of times I wanted to talk to Sarah but didn’t because I was scared of ruining it. Scared that I wasn’t good enough for her.”

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