Page 73 of When You Saved Me

P.S. - I really hope I’m not crazy. Xoxo.

My heart clamored in my chest as I looked out the window and noticed there were flurries of snowflakes in the air. The ground was still white with snow and her car wasn’t next to my truck anymore.

Looking back to the note in my hands, I nearly crumpled the paper from frustration. I’d pushed her away and now she was gone. Out there. Where the roads were slick, and snow was starting to come down again.

Casper chirped at me and nuzzled his face into my hands.

“Don’t worry, little guy. I’m going to go get our girl.”

Snowflakes hit the windshield, creating a white cast that was difficult to see the road through. The pine trees lining both sides of the state road blurred past me as I sank my foot farther against the gas pedal.

“Come on,” I murmured to myself, trying to be careful on the road but needing to go fast enough to find her in town. There was no way in hell I was going to let her drive back alone with the weather in this condition.

Pressing down a little more on the accelerator, my chest buzzed with energy when the back tires of my old pickup truck fishtailed along the road.

“Shit!” Taking my foot off the gas, I righted the steering wheel, and the tires found traction again.

It wasn’t a good sign. If my truck’s mud tires were having a difficult time keeping to the road, there was no way her tiny car was doing better.

“Come on, Sunshine. Please be safe.” I sent a silent prayer out that I’d find her before she turned around. I’d already fucked up so much and this was my chance to make things right. The first step in the right direction.

In her letter, she’d written that I was the one she wanted. All I could think of was how I needed the chance to tell her the same thing. I was ready to let her in. To show her all the dark pieces of my past and how they’ve corrupted my entire sense of the world. And how her light showed me whatcould be possible if I just let myself be fucking happy for once.

“I promise, Charlie… I promise I’ll do better,” I whispered into the empty cabin of my truck, hoping she could feel my heart through the thread that had bound us together from the moment we met seven years ago.

She’d called it woo-woo stuff, but I knew it was real. Maybe part of me—in the beginning—had thought she was crazy. But I felt it pull me down the road toward her. The line was taut, like she was calling to me.

I just had to find her.

The truck nearly rocked side-to-side with how fast the windshield wipers were working. I was nearly to the edge of town when I saw smoke rising along the side of the road. Leaning forward in my seat, I squinted at where the smoke was coming from and noticed there was a white sedan lodged against a tree in the snow.

Panic rose in my chest as my stomach churned. It was Charlie’s car. “Oh my god. No! No!” I yelled into the silence as I slammed my foot on the pedal, not caring about my own safety, just needing to get to her.

The car was about a quarter mile down the road and with each passing second, my heart beat faster in my chest. Like a wild animal, the pounding was relentless as bile coated the back of my throat.

If she’s hurt…No! I wouldn’t allow myself to think about it. She had to be okay. There was no other option.

Skidding to a halt next to her car, I threw the shifter into park and jumped out.

“Charlie!” I screamed her name as icy snow bit my cheeks.

Black smoke rose from the engine of her car and the whole area smelled like gas.

“Fuck.”

As I rounded the trunk of her sedan, I noticed the entire front was smashed against a giant pine tree. My feet nearly fell from beneath me as I slipped on a patch of ice running toward the driver side of the car.

“Charlie!” I yelled again and didn’t hear a response when I saw that her head was laid back against her seat, the airbag deployed in front of her.

“No. No! No!” Every muscle in my body shook as I saw the light of my existence sitting there—lifeless.

Yanking on the handle, I screamed her name again. She didn’t move and that’s when I noticed there was a giant gash on the right side of her face, blood matted her hair. She was hurt. And I couldn’t get to her.

Images of Charlie wrapped up in that tiny damp towel as she tried to shield herself from the flames flickered to life in my mind. How her bright blue eyes were hopeful when she looked up at me. And the way her small arms clung to my neck as I walked us out of her apartment.

All of it came back to me in a rush that nearly knocked the air from my lungs. It felt like I was back there. Both of us surrounded by fire. Desperate to get away from the heat.

And just like that, the moment was gone and I was back in the cold snow, trying to work the door handle open to no avail.