Page 29 of When You Saved Me

“What do you think?” I managed to ask when he lowered the mug.

The light caught his eyes, revealing those brown and blue flecks that danced amongst the green like old leaves falling from a tree against a gorgeous fall sky.

“I don’t think it’s poisoned, so that’s definitely a plus.”

I shoved him in the chest, playfully. He didn’t laugh, but I caught a hint of a smirk and that was good enough for me.

“It’s really good, actually. Thank you.”

“Good.” I nodded with conviction. If there was one thing I knew how to make, it was a decadent mug of hot cocoa.

We both sipped from our drinks for a few moments, taking in the snowmageddon that had us trapped together.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like this before. It kind of messes with my mind if I stare at it for too long.” I glanced up at him and found there was a pained look on his face.

I knew better than to ask him if he was okay, so I stayed silent, even though I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him.

“I’ve only seen snow this high once. When I served in Afghanistan, our deployment ran through the middle of winter. Those mountains get colder than anything I’ve ever experienced before.”

Afghanistan. The war. Another piece of his puzzle slid into place for me. If he’d been deployed while in the military, there was a high likelihood that he’d seen unimaginable things. Just like he’d said. Horrors that no human should have to face.

For some reason it hadn’t clicked in my mind until now, the types of inhuman experiences he’d likely encountered over there.

Because I’d lived a sheltered, posh life since I was born, the idea of going to war, living in the mountains while risking my life was beyond my comprehension. I couldn’t understand how that might shape someone. What fears andnightmares one might have to endure for a lifetime afterward.

The isolation out here. The desire to be alone in the wilderness… I’d only been here a short time, but the beauty that surrounded us had already captured my heart and calmed my mind in a way I didn’t know was possible. I understood now why it was so precious to him. To his well-being.

Seeing me was probably a constant reminder of the life he had tried to leave behind. I was the person he’d saved from the fire. I knew I likely wasn’t the only one he’d saved over his career, but I’d come here. Invaded his space. Asked him too many questions.

I’d probed and prodded. Disrespected everything he’d been through.

Guilt clawed at me with such strength all the air left my lungs.

Never in my life had I done something so selfish. Been so blind to my own intrinsic desires that I ignored what someone else was trying to tell me but couldn’t.

My throat felt thick with the wordsI’m sorryand just as my lips parted to say them, a loud screech came from my left.

I whirled around to see what had made the sound. “Oh my God!” I yelled, my hands coming up shakily to cover my mouth. “Casper!”

“Shit!” Deacon cursed under his breath as he moved to my side.

While I was lost in thought, Casper must have snuck off.He was in one of the pine trees clinging to the branch for dear life while a large hawk circled the tree.

I took in the mountains of snow between me and him and felt my heart begin to thud against my chest. Panic rose and tears sprung to my eyes.

“Deacon, what do I do?”

He was staring at Casper in the tree as the hawk continued to circle around. The way his eyes darted back and forth between the tree and the snow told me he was assessing the situation.

But as I shifted and saw the hawk’s circle growing smaller, I knew there wasn’t time to waste.

“I’m going to try?—”

“Take this,” Deacon interrupted me, thrusting the snow shovel into my hands. I grabbed it and watched helplessly as Deacon started wading through the several feet of snow towards the pine tree.

His large shoulders tilted from side to side as he climbed into the snow pile, stomping his boots along the way to create a sturdier path.

“Hold on, Casper!” I yelled across the way. If anything happened to him…no. I couldn’t think like that. He was going to be safe. Deacon was going to get him and bring him back to me.

---