Page 44 of Dare to Need

When I helped him settle back into the mound of pillows, he asked, “How’s that pretty lady of yours doing with all of this?”

My throat immediately clenched. “I’ll be honest, dad. I haven’t been the most standup man the past week. I’ve thrown a lot of shit her way and she’s taken it, but I don’t know how much longer she can stand it.”

“This is certainly a trying time for you both right now and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the people we choose to surround ourselves with are the ones who deserve our best.”

I nodded. “She deserves the world laid at her feet. And I’ve done nothing but push her away since we got here.”

“Why are you pushing her away?”

“There are a few reasons, I guess. Like I said before, I’ve never really been great at talking through my emotions. And she keeps asking me to talk to her. But she doesn’t realize just how hard that is for me. She’s asking me to change who I am as a person.”

I paused, waiting for him to say something. He had a far-off look in his eyes for a moment, as though his mind went somewhere else completely.

When his steel-blue eyes gained their clarity again, he turned toward me and said, “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. You say that you’re bad at talking about your emotions, but that’s exactly what you’re doing with me right now. When you were a little boy youalwaystold your mother and me exactly how you felt…abouteverything. There was never a time when we didn’t know how you felt.”

“Then, why is it so damn hard for me to do that now?” I pleaded.

He huffed, shaking his head. “Because life gets hard, son. You were very blessed with an easy childhood. And when things got harder, you started retreating inward. It’s a normal thing to do when life gets tough. But when you have a partner who wants to get closer to you, I think it’s important to push yourself. I’ve seen the way Eva looks at you, son. You’re the center of her world and I know you feel the same about her. So do whatever it takes to make it work.”

It felt strange, yet comforting, taking advice from my father. I knew he was right, though. I wanted Eva to be my partner for the rest of our lives and the only way to make that happen was to work on my shit.

“She’s really upset with me for withdrawing my pieces from an exhibit. I wanted to tell her that I felt too overwhelmed now that I was taking over your company. Instead, I just shut down.”

“What do you mean you withdrew your art?”

Heat flared up my neck. “Some of my pieces were accepted at that studio I told you about a while back. It’s pretty difficult to get in there, but when I told you I’d take over the company I couldn’t see how I could manage to be both CEO and artist. So I withdrew my pieces and Eva found out. She’s worried that all of this is changing me…and I think that it might be, but I don’t know how to balance the needs of these two careers, my relationship with Eva, and my sanity.”

My father exhaled loudly, his nostrils flaring wide. “I wish I had the answer to how best to balance all the demands of life. But I don’t. I’m learning how to navigate all of this myself for the first time. To be honest, if my damn ticker didn’t almost give out on me, I’d probably still be pushing the same way I was. While I have no place in telling you what to do given how that went in the past, I will tell you that the older you get, the more time goes by quickly. And the more you will wish that you did what made you happy and that you spent your time with those most important to you.

“The company is yours if you want it. But I want you to think hard about whether this is what you actually want. You boys will be set for life no matter what. And I have all the faith in the world that you will be successful at whatever you decide to do. I’m sorry I didn’t convey that more to you when you were younger. But I’m saying it now, and I believe it with all my heart.”

All those years of resentment toward him started to fade into distant memory. We were mending the broken pieces of our relationship, bit by bit. Through that mending, I felt like I was finally starting to see the bigger picture of everything that transpired over the past two weeks. It was still hazy, and I wasn’t quite sure what the right answers were just yet, but I was getting closer.

“I appreciate that, dad. More than you could ever know. And I’m sorry for all the parts I played in fracturing our relationship. I’m just glad that I have you back in my life.”

“I’m thankful you were willing to give me another chance.” His chin trembled as he spoke.

Choking back fresh tears, I said, “Come on, dad. No more crying for tonight.” We both laughed as I leaned down to hug him.

As I rose, streams of sunlight started to peek through the buildings outside his window. “I’m going to go so you can get some rest.”

“Okay, son. Thank you for stopping by. This was a good talk.”

“Of course. And thank you for everything, dad.”

When I made it to the door of his room, he said, “Garth.” I looked at him over my shoulder. “Don’t waste any time making things right with your woman. Life is too short to go to bed angry.”

“I will. I promise.”

As I turned to leave, it felt like the weight of the world was a little lighter on my shoulders.

ChapterEighteen

The wood felt smooth under my fingertips as I rubbed against the arm of the chair I’d been sitting in for the past hour. I came back to our hotel room to find Eva passed out. A mess of long tan limbs, rich auburn hair, and a peaceful smile that I hadn’t seen on her face in days.

I hoped she was dreaming of me—of a time when things were better and I hadn’t been a total and complete ass towards her. But I could only be so lucky. I was pushing her away and I knew I needed to make amends…and keep them.

My gaze raked over the curve of her bare hip that had exposed itself from the white linen sheets. My hands twitched to touch her skin. To feel the igniting of the flame we’d lit yesterday in that alleyway. The carnal need to possess every part of her—body and soul—as our bodies melded together, her back arching off that brick wall, was screaming through every fiber of my being.

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