Page 45 of Dare to Need

She unleashed something in me, and I in her. A wild desire to uncover parts of our sexuality that neither one of us had explored before. I loved how easily she gave in to me. Letting me take her body in ways that she’d never been taken before. The hunger I felt to be inside of her again was unrelenting.

But I hated how the second our bodies parted, I retreated inward. Building my walls as high as they could go—completely impenetrable. My father was right. I needed to make her a priority again. Fighting for Eva and our relationship was more important than ever as the feeling of losing her was creeping through the depths of my mind.

I was willing to endure the discomfort of opening up if it meant saving our relationship.

Pushing myself out of the chair, I gently sat on the bed, trying not to disturb her. The way her hair fanned out around her, framing her face with an ethereal halo, reminded me of the first time she stayed in my bed back home. A moment I would cherish for the rest of my life, knowing that it was the start of the most sacred relationship I’d ever had.

The proximity to her warmth made my body come alive with need. There was no restraint as I reached out and slid my palm against the edge of her hip and down the side of her upper thigh. Her skin was soft as the finest silk fabric and kissed by the heat of the Florida sun. Toned muscles flexed beneath my hand as she stretched her leg out.

Bright brown eyes met mine as I continued to rub my hand along her leg.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

It crushed me how her eyes went wide, as though she wasn’t expecting me to come back at all. “Good morning,” she murmured.

“I’m sorry…for everything.”

Sitting herself up on the plush pillows, she patted the bed on the other side of her, eyeing me expectantly. I slipped into the spot beside her and pulled her into my arms. For a brief moment, her body was tense, like she wasn’t sure if she should give in so easily. But a few seconds passed and I felt her melt into me just as she had so many times before.

I let myself breathe in her sweet lilac scent, feel the warmth of her bare skin against my own. Hoping I could wash away all the mistakes I’d made this past week.

My heart kicked up a beat as I sorted through all the words I wanted to say.

“I went to see my dad.”

Tilting her head up, she looked at me with sad round eyes. It killed me knowing that I was the one to cause that sadness.

When she didn’t say anything I continued on. “We had a really good talk. It was the first time we were able to have a decent conversation about difficult things in a long time. Actually, I don’t think we’ve been able to talk about anything without screaming at each other since I was a little boy.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” There was an edge to her tone that cut straight to my heart.

“Because I want to try to make things right, Eva. I’m sorry that it took me this long to put the effort in, but I want to make this work. You’re the most important person in my life and I love you so much it physically pains me. And…and you deserve to knoweverything.”

Her beautiful face contorted as she started to cry. Heavy teardrops cascaded down her face like a downpour of rain in a desert that was so desperately needed. It made me realize just how much she had been holding in. How my actions impacted her more than I knew.

She sank into me further as I wrapped my other arm around her head, cradling her against my chest, slowly moving us side to side.

“Shhhh,” I whispered against her hair. “It’s okay, baby. I promise it will all be okay.”

Her small frame racked hard as a vicious sob escaped her. “I’ve been so worried about you…aboutus.”

“I know. And I know I caused all of that worry and I’m so so sorry. I’m not very good at this, but I promise you I will try.”

Pushing against my chest, she looked up at me through thick eyelashes clumped together from the wetness of her tears. “That’s all I’ve been asking for—is for you to try. But I want to tell you I’m sorry too.”

“You don’t need—“

“No, I do,” she interrupted, placing her palm towards me. “I was pushing you out of your comfort zone and asking you to change parts of yourself that have been engrained for years during a time when I needed to just be with you. I should have been your partner during all of this and given you the space to sort through everything yourself without putting added pressure on you. I know I’ve said it before, but I’ve never been through anything like this before either, and…well, I kind of fucked up.”

With the back of my finger, I swept her tears away. “It seems like this has been a learning lesson for both of us.”

Sniffling, she nodded.

Splotchy patches of pink were splashed against her cheeks as I cupped the side of her face. “You’re the only person in the world I would want to go through this with, Eva. The good, the bad, the ugly. I want to endure all of it with you. Will you give me a chance to work on this and make it right?”

Soft fingertips slid up my forearm before she placed her palm over mine. “I’d give you a lifetime of chances. As long as you’d do the same for me.”

Closing my eyes, I brought my forehead to hers and took a deep breath in. “Always.”

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