Page 59 of Dare to Fall

“I’m so sorry, Eva. I know this whole thing has really blown up in such a short period of time.”

I sat up and wiped at the dried tears clinging to my cheeks.

“Drema, I’m so thankful that you’re here with me now and that you’ve been here for me this entire time. I never realized the true meaning of friendship until you and I got closer. Now I know what it should look like. I just want to say thank you, for everything.”

She smiled and said, “I always hoped we would be close. I’m glad we finally got to this place. And I want you to know that I’m here for you. No matter what.”

“I know you are, and I appreciate that more than you know.” I fidgeted with the edges of my pillowcase. “I need to apologize to you, Drema.”

“For what?”

“For not standing up to Caroline and Paulina when they made rude comments to you. I should have stood up for you, but I didn’t. And I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She gave me a shy smile. “I know how easy it can be to fall in line with a noisy crowd. They’re the kind of girls who make you feel like an outcast if you don’t follow suit.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely true. It sucks, though, because Paulina wasn’t always like that. Before I met Connor and we became friends with Caroline and Brent, Paulina always stood up for what was right. I remember so many times when she would stand up to bullies who were picking on kids in our school. She was a force to be reckoned with. But ever since Brent came into the picture, she started changing herself to get his attention.”

“Love can make us do really stupid things sometimes.”

I let out a harsh chuckle. “Exactly! Look at all the dumb shit I did for five years for a guy who wasn’t even truly in love with me.”

As the words left my mouth, I started to laugh. A deep, throaty belly laugh that made no sense at all because I was supposed to be hurting. I was supposed to be wallowing in pain. Not laughing. But as I thought back to all the pieces of myself I’d kept hidden away for so long, I suddenly realized I no longer had to hide them.

I was free.

Drema tilted her head at me, her eyes growing concerned, and it made me laugh even harder. And as we both laughed and laughed and laughed, it felt like a ray of sunshine peeking through a cloudy day. I couldn’t remember the last time I had really laughed with Connor or our friends—at least not at the expense of someone else. It amazed me how much clarity we could find when we removed the blindfold and faced the problems around us. If I didn’t have Drema and Garth’s support to push me through these changes, I would probably still be committed to a guy who was cheating on me just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the pressure of change.

But I was learning that change was a good thing, even if it was really fucking hard.

The fit of giggles finally stopped. I clutched my aching stomach with one hand and wiped away the maniacal happy tears with the other.

As we both settled down, tendrils of sadness and hurt started clawing their way into my mind again. Regardless of the freedom I now possessed, my heart was still broken, and my life was diminished to rubble that would need to be overhauled and rebuilt.

Desperate to keep the bad feelings at bay, I opted for a distraction. Anything to keep the ache in my chest from hurting so much.

“So, I was meaning to ask you how your night went after the exhibit. You got home pretty late.”

Drema blushed, the balls of her cheeks matching her fiery red hair.

“Yeah. I, uh, went out with that guy. Garth’s friend, Lucas.” She grabbed a pillow and covered her face.

“Drema!” I squealed. “Oh my God! Are you serious?”

She peeked over the pillow and nodded her head.

“He’s really hot!”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” she said.

“Where did you two go?”

She lowered the pillow from her giddy-stricken face and said, “He took me to a jazz club downtown. One of his favorite pianists was playing that night, so we went there and had some drinks.”

“And?” I coaxed her to tell me more.

“And he’s taking me out again next weekend.”

“Oh my God, Drema! I’m so excited for you!”

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