Page 24 of Dare to Fall

He raised his eyebrows at me.

Lucas always had a way of shifting the focus off himself when he was going through something difficult. I knew the pattern well, but I could tell from his phone call earlier that morning that something was off, and he really needed to talk about it. So, I had no intention of letting him get off track with whatever the hell was happening inside my own head right now.

“Seriously. I’m all good.” I nodded toward him. “You’re the one who said you’ve had a rough go at it lately. So, tell me, what happened?”

His face immediately shifted, his eyes glazing over a bit, and his bright smile that always caught women’s attention turned down slightly. I watched him closely as he took a long swig of his bourbon and then set the tumbler on the bar. When he ran a hand over his face, I could tell that whatever he was about to say wouldn’t be good.

“I’ve been a wreck. An absolute wreck. And I don’t know why.” He fidgeted with the collar of his neatly pressed white button down. “But this kid, man. I don’t know what it is about her that’s making this so fucking hard. I’ve treated hundreds of children, and none of them have affected me like this.” He took another swig of his bourbon.

“How are her parents dealing with it?” I asked.

He rubbed a hand through his hair and leaned against the bar. “It’s just her father. Her mother abandoned them when she was three years old, and they haven’t heard from her since. He’s an amazing dad, though. He works in construction but somehow manages to never be late to her appointments. We just got her latest scans back yesterday, and the treatment isn’t working.” His gaze darted all over the room as he said, “It spread to her brain.”

A pit formed in my stomach. Lucas had told me enough about various types of cancer that I knew how deadly they were when it hit the brain. I clasped my hand over his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Lucas. How’s her dad holding up?”

He leaned closer so he didn’t have to yell against the music. “He’s been able to keep it together for the past year. Through all the chemo and her surgeries, I haven’t seen him cry once. But when I had to tell him about it metastasizing to her brain, he lost it. I think all the pain from the past few years finally boiled over.”

I could tell the stress was beginning to wear on Lucas. The brightness in his eyes was beginning to fade, and it reminded me of a time many years ago. A time when I wasn’t so sure he would recover from the heartbreak. It made me nervous, thinking that he might be slipping back into that place.

I clasped him on the shoulder again and urged him to look me in the eyes. “You are doing the best you can, Lucas. Your job is to use your knowledge of medicine to help these kids heal from cancer. But it isnotyour job to save everyone.” He tried to turn away, but I arched my neck to keep his eyes locked on mine. “Do you understand that? You can’t be their savior. You’re their doctor.”

Water lined the rims of his eyes. I pulled back and gave him a pat on the back as he drained his glass.

“I know I have to let it go. And most of the time, I can. But sometimes it hits me all at once—the unfairness of it all.” His eyes went hazy again, as though they were peering through a window of memories to the time that almost destroyed him.

I knew exactly what he was talking about. He wasn’t the only one who had watched his younger sister wither away from leukemia. It was a brutal battle, and she tried so valiantly to win it. But in the end, the cancer was too much for her small body. She had just turned twelve years old when she took her last breaths. Her death destroyed all of us, but most of all Lucas. They were only a few years apart and joined at the hip. She was his reason for going into medicine, and I had a feeling this little girl he was talking about likely reminded him of his sister. But I didn’t want to bring that thought to the forefront of his mind—certainly not here.

I signaled the bartender to bring us another round as I emptied my own glass. “You’re right, brother. Life’s not fair. But I’m not going to let you beat yourself up any more tonight. We came here to have a good time, so that’s what we’re going to do.”

Lucas scraped a hand over his face, the last bit of tension melting off his shoulders as I watched him push it all down. Much like me, his emotions only seeped out when something was really bothering him. But we were both adept at burying them deep when we needed to.

The bartender slid the tumblers over to us. I raised my glass to Lucas. “To a hellish night. And maybe a little bit of trouble.” He grinned as I spoke the toast we always gave one another when we really needed to turn the night around. We clinked our glasses and took a swig.

“So, another gorgeous lady bit the dust?” he asked over the rim of his glass.

I sighed and said, “You know how hard I’ve worked to be separate from my father and the business. I don’t want to waste my time with someone who only looks at me with dollar signs in their eyes. I have nothing to do with the Walker Corporation, and the moment those women figure that out, they’re going to walk right back out my door. I’m just cutting out the boring middle part by having them walk before anyone gets invested.”

Lucas smirked. “You do realize that your father owns one of the largest development companies in the world. It’s going to be difficult for you to find someone who doesn’t know who your family is.”

“Unfortunately for me, you’re probably right about that.”

I knew that it would be difficult, but I was willing to take my time. There was something I was searching for, something I’d never had before with any of the women I’d dated so far. Although I wasn’t sure exactly what it was, I knew I didn’t have it with Brooke.

Taking another long swig of my drink, I looked out onto the dance floor. The colors gleaming against the sea of bodies were hypnotizing.

Someone bumped into me, and as I looked over my shoulder at the culprit, I sawher. My heart beat wildly against my chest as I took her in. A tight leather skirt hugged the sweet curve of her thighs, the bottom seam landing dangerously high. Her auburn hair fell in loose curls down the front of her chest. I swallowed hard as my gaze fell down her perfectly tanned legs to the black platform heels she wore. My pants strained against my growing arousal. Every time I laid my eyes on Eva Barnes, my body reacted in a way it never had before. I always prided myself for having self-control, but when she was near me, I knew no sense of the word.

“Uh oh,” I heard Lucas say behind me. “Who isshe?”

“Trouble.” I grabbed my glass of bourbon and shot the cool amber liquid back, letting the burn ground me.

I watched as she made her way with a small group to one of the private tables along the far wall. The tight black tank-top she wore glistened in the lights, her toned shoulders shifting as she sat down. Every inch of her was sculpted to perfection—a woman who clearly took pride in her physique.

“Damn, Garth. She’s already got you by the balls. What the hell did she do to you?”

It took effort to peel my eyes off her, but I turned back toward Lucas, and a wide smirk was plastered on his face.

“She’s one of Samson’s students. I had to cover for his class this morning.”