Page 21 of Dare to Fall

“Thank you for saying that,” Emilia said as her voice grew smaller.

Garth nodded his head then gazed out across the class. “Andthatis exactly how artists push past the barriers of the human condition. When we experience something profound, we are able to use our craft as a mechanism of understanding. Through art, we are able to harness what we feel and then use it in a productive way. It also gives us a megaphone through which we can display what feels important to us.”

As he spoke, his words called to me like a moth to a flame. Every photograph I took had a piece of my soul embedded within it. Aside from running, it was the one thing that emptied my mind of all the things that made me feel upset and disheartened. When I was behind the lens, I was able to see the world through a different perspective. Everything just seemed clearer.

Garth looked directly at me and lifted a thick eyebrow. My insides turned molten as those gorgeous eyes stared straight through me. Fluttering butterflies swirled around in my stomach. Every thought that floated into my mind told me to look away, but I couldn’t. He had ignited a piece of me that had turned ashen long ago. Something buried so deep it was unfamiliar to me, yet I knew it intimately all the same.

But as he pushed off the desk and started pacing the front of the room, that burning ember fluttered out once again.

“Who’s next?”

I exhaled a sigh of relief. I shouldn’t have been feeling this way toward anyone other than Connor. Twinges of guilt seared through me as I thought back to the fight I had with Connor. MaybeIwas part of the problem. I was clearly confused and uncertain about what I wanted lately. It certainly didn’t help that I was being distracted by another man.

I shook my head and leaned back against the wooden chair, letting the coolness of it against my exposed skin calm my nerves.

A few other students raised their hands and revealed their own truths as to why they were taking photography class. It made me feel a lot better to hear that two of them were also pre-med students. Although, it seemed like they were just hoping for an easy credit to balance out the science classes required for our major. Garth didn’t chastise them like I thought he might. Instead, he thanked them for being willing to try out the arts, given their true interests were in a vastly different field.

I found it surprising that his feedback was so supportive. I thought maybe it was his dark features that made him seem unapproachable and withdrawn, but when his hazel eyes met mine, I knew there was something deeper, as though he bore an unbearable weight on his shoulders and he didn’t have the ability to hide it.

But every now and then, he would smile so brightly all hints of his darkness faded away. And when that happened, I found myself clenching the sides of my seat with my hands, my body betraying any sense of rational thought. I knew nothing about this man, yet I felt a magnetic pull toward him. It was frustrating and tantalizing. A desire to learn more about him, to listen to him speak about his love of art, overtook my mind.

“And how about you?” His voice was low and husky.

I glanced up to see who he was asking and found him staring straight at me again. The slightest raise of his brow set me on edge. Fidgeting in my seat, I tried to rack my brain for words. Seconds ticked by, and I could feel everyone’s eyes on me while they waited for my response.

Taking a deep breath in, I relaxed my shoulders and spoke my truth. “When I’m behind the lens, I’m able to see the world the way I want it to be. There’s no noise to sift through. There’s only the moment I’m in. And I get to capture those moments of stillness and purity. When the days become too hard, I have these little treasures to look back on, and it reminds me that those moments still exist.” A gentle smile broke across my lips as I thought back to the moment just a few days ago, sitting by the campus lake. “I guess that’s why I like capturing the sunlight so much. It’s a promise that something good will come of it all.”

The classroom was so quiet I could hear the sudden increase of my heartbeat. Garth didn’t say a word. He just looked at me with the same expression as before—as though I was an enigma he couldn’t quite figure out. He rubbed at his beard, and I watched as his thick forearm flexed with the movement. I just stared at him, begging him to say something to ease the tension. Seconds ticked by, and I could sense the air growing thick. A few classmates shifted uneasily in their seats.

His lips parted slightly, his sensual eyes searing into me. On the edge of my seat, I waited for his response to come. But it never did. Instead, he drifted back behind the oak desk and wiped the whiteboard clean. I leaned back in my chair with a thud.

What the hell was that?

He turned around and said, “Thank you, everyone, for sharing your perspectives with me today. Dr. Nickolson will be back with you next week. Class is dismissed.”

I turned toward the girl next to me, a crease forming between my brows. She shrugged her shoulders, looking just as perplexed as I felt. Students piled out of the room as I slowly rose and started packing my bag. My hands shook slightly as I slipped the syllabus papers into a plastic folder. Footsteps fell, and I could sense his closeness. A shiver shot up my spine as I slowly turned my body toward him and finally met his gaze.

“I’m sorry for calling you out earlier,” I blurted out, my hands continuing to shake.

No one had ever made me feel this nervous before.What the hell was happening to me?

He took another step toward me, entering my space. The musky scent of sandalwood sent a jolt to my nerves as I inhaled deeply. Towering over me, he tilted his head down. Bright hazel eyes with flecks of bright green and yellow stared into my own. He was so close I could reach out and touch him. I flexed my hands as they itched to do just that. Every ounce of my being screamed to close the gap between us, to roam my hands through his thick black hair, to brush my fingertips across his dark-olive skin. He leaned a fraction closer, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

“I think you will learn a lot from Dr. Nickolson,” he whispered.

Then, he took a step back, taking me in. And for a moment, I thought he might say something more. Instead, he walked right past me and through the door.

11

A knock soundedat the door, and the plate I was washing clattered against the bottom of the sink. I had been so on edge since the bizarre encounter with Garth during my class. I dreamed about him last night—that I had gotten exactly what my body desired. His large hands roaming all over me, leaving no space undiscovered. Those mysterious eyes lingering on me the entire night, drinking me in, desperate for more. I had woken up in a cold sweat, and my body ached against the lack of truth to the dream.

Seven miles of running was the only thing I could do to get my head screwed on straight again. I ran harder than I had the night Connor and I had gotten into a fight, trying to reset my mind and body to forget all about Garth Walker and what my body wanted from him.

But it didn’t work. The angles of his beautiful face still flashed across my mind.

I wiped my wet hands on the dish towel and walked toward the door. Paulina practically ran me over as she charged through the door.

“What the hell took you so long? I’m dying in this heat,” she said as she fanned her face with an open hand.

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