Page 10 of Dare to Fall

He looked up at me with our mother’s eyes. His face softened as he said, “Thank you. I really needed to hear that.”

Something in my chest swelled as he smiled at me with the same boyish grin he’d had all his life. Memories of less complicated times flitted through my mind, but I pushed them away as quickly as they came.

“Alright. Come on now.” I turned toward the aisle leading back up to the door. Heat snaked through my veins, and my fingers twitched with an urge to do something, anything to make the chaotic swirl of emotions stop.

We made our way toward the double doors leading out to the Florida heat. I carefully hid my clenched fists behind my back.

“I have to stop by Mom’s office really quick before we head out. It’s been a little while since I’ve talked to her. Is she doing okay?”

My brother stopped just in front of the doors and turned toward me. “You don’t know?” His lips formed into a tight line.

“Know what?” I asked, anxiety clenching at my heart like a vise.

His eyes darted to the floor then up again as he shifted on his feet. “Dad’s health isn’t well. He just saw a string of specialists last month, and they’re still trying to figure out what’s wrong.”

The classroom faded into a distant blur, the edges of my vision going dark. Garrett droned on, but I couldn’t hear a damn thing over the rush of blood flowing against my eardrums. It was always a distant thought. That one day I would be faced with the mortality of my parents.

Only one thought kept flashing across my mind.

It’s too soon.

5

Eva

Beads of sweattrickled down my back. My eyes narrowed to slits against the Florida sun, and I silently cursed myself for forgetting my sunglasses. Paulina and I turned the corner leading us onto the main strip at the heart of campus. Life buzzed all around us as hundreds of students gathered outside the various restaurants. To our left, a long line extended out of the college bookstore, mostly filled with anxious freshmen who likely bought the wrong book or were stockpiling supplies they probably wouldn’t need.

An obnoxious rumbling of my stomach sounded as the smell of glorious food wafted through the air. A mixture of various restaurants lined the strip, but our group usually frequented either Charlie’s Cafe or the sushi place with a name I couldn’t pronounce. Both had somewhat reasonable options for everyone. Paulina and Caroline were usually the only ones complaining about the choice of food as they both preferred a range of salads.

We pushed past the line of bodies waiting outside of Chick-fil-A, and that was when we spotted them—Connor, Brent, and Caroline all sitting at one of Charlie’s round picnic tables. Caroline was practically draped over Brent as she leaned over to tell Connor something. I glanced over at Paulina. She was wringing her hands, and her tanned skin was two shades paler than it was just moments ago. I didn’t have to follow her line of sight to know that she was staring right at Brent and Caroline. I nudged her against the arm with my elbow, and her weary eyes darted toward mine.

“It’s going to be okay, Lina.” My childhood nickname for her slid off my tongue.

“I don’t know why I’m so damn nervous.”

I stopped, grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her to face me. “It’s justthem. Our friends we’ve known our entire lives.” My voice lowered. “I know things have been a little weird with Brent, butyouare in control. He will follow your lead just like he does with Caroline. So play it cool, and don’t let him be the reason you start out your first week back on the wrong foot.”

She nodded. I watched her carefully as a shimmer of confidence seeped back into her eyes.

“Alright, let’s go.” She let out a long breath before she started walking toward them again.

Connor got up from the table as soon as he spotted us. His legs and arms had filled out more since the last time we saw each other in person. He had hardly posted anything on social media the entire summer, and he wasn’t one for video calls, so it had been a long time since I was able to get a good look at him. Dusty-blonde hair flowed in gentle waves atop his gorgeous head. When his steel-blue eyes met mine, I finally got the jolt of butterflies I had been waiting for. As last week passed without a word from him, I started to wonder if I was falling out of love or the worry about him not lovingmeanymore had become too much. But seeing him in front of me now, I knew that thought was fleeting. Everything was exactly as it should have been.

He jogged over to me and wrapped me up in a classic Connor bear hug. I relished in the feel of his strong arms around my waist. I leaned into his touch, thankful that we finally had this moment after months apart. All the anger I felt earlier melted away as I took in the scent of him, clean and crisp like fresh laundry blowing in the summer breeze. He pulled back and landed a quick kiss on my lips. I tried to pull him back for more, but he was already walking back toward the picnic table.

NoI love you. No passionate kiss like all the ones we’d shared over the years. As quickly as the butterflies came, his quick dismissal of me shredded them all to pieces. Left in their place was a wretched hole that grew larger by the second. For a moment, I just stared after him—at all of them. Paulina took her place next to Caroline, her skin no longer pale as she chatted away. For the briefest moment, I wondered if I even belonged at that table. Old insecurities were taking hold.

Connor finally glanced up at me and waved his hand over. “Come on. What’re you waiting for?”

I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to tell him that I’d been waiting months to finally see him because he always said he was too busy for me to come and visit. That I deserved a much better kiss than the one I just got. And that I fucking loved him, and I didn’t understand why he kept dismissing me like this.

None of those words flew out of my mouth, though. They lodged themselves deep in my chest where my heart slowly plummeted as I realized how different things were now. Yet, he was acting as if nothing had changed.

“Are you okay?” His words cracked through me.

I whipped my head toward him. “Um, yeah. Sorry.” I took my seat next to him without saying another word as the familiarity of everything around me sank in. The five of us at our favorite lunch spot under a huge red-and-white striped umbrella, Caroline and Brent obnoxiously stealing kisses every two seconds while Paulina secretly looked after them with a longing that pained my heart.

But that feeling still lingered. A subtle sense that something was off. I took my backpack off and settled into my seat, hoping that I was just too far into my head and Connor was just under a ton of stress from school and everything we had coming up to prepare for application season.

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