Page 38 of Dare to Fall

She studied me a moment before saying, “Good. I think that’s a wise choice. Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of your breakfast, and make sure to tell my son that I would like to speak with him when you see him.” Her eyes landed on Garth again before she looked back to me.

“I will,” I murmured. “It was nice to see you, Mrs. O’Brien.”

Without saying a word, she nodded once and walked toward the back of the restaurant, her stiletto heels clacking against the tiled floor.

“I am so, so sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I never should have come here.”

Rising from my seat, I grabbed my camera and hastily threw the strap around my neck.

“Eva, please don’t leave.” Garth stood up. His height was domineering in the small space, and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to retreat into his arms.

The tether between us urged me to give in, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t right. I was devoted to another man. Connor and I had our fair share of troubles, yes. But I wouldn’t degrade myself by being unfaithful—not physically or emotionally. Above all else, I would keep my integrity. Whatever the cost.

The torment on Garth’s face was almost too much to bear. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.” I tossed a twenty-dollar bill on the table and ran out of the restaurant without looking back.

20

My kneenervously bounced up and down as I sat across from Connor. I peered at him over the top of my menu. His eyes danced across the page of his own menu, completely unaware of the anxious mess that sat across from him.

I wondered when he had become so oblivious to me. It wasn’t that long ago when he could tell every emotion that I was experiencing just by looking at me. In just a few short months, it felt like every piece of who we were together had fallen apart. While I wanted to work on rebuilding our relationship, I didn’t know where to start. It wasn’t like Connor gave me much to go on, either. Every time I tried to get him to talk to me about what was going on, he shut down or got angry with me.

Connor reached for my menu to hand to the waiter after we placed our orders. When the waiter left our table, Connor looked up at me and said, “I think you are going to get a lot of great experience interning with Dr. White. My parents went to medical school with her. She’s the best of the best.” He smiled at me, though it didn’t meet his eyes. “And it will look great on your resume. If all goes well, you could even get a letter of recommendation from her.”

Tightness gripped my throat as I tried to swallow. Why was I so nervous? Connor was my boyfriend, the one I had shared everything with for the past five years. Despite everything that was going on between us, he still cared for me and wanted what was best for me. Or at least I hoped so. I had to tell him what I was feeling. It wasn’t fair to either one of us for me to keep this secret anymore.

“Connor, I have to tell you something.” All of my knuckles turned white as I gripped my hands together in my lap.

“What is it?” He tilted his head slightly.

Taking a deep breath in, I tried to calm my nerves before I spoke the words I knew were going to land hard. “I’m not sure I will be doing the internship anymore.”

He blinked at me. “What do you mean you’re not sure? Did something happen?”

I shook my head. “No, nothing happened. I just don’t think this is what I want to do anymore.”

“I’m confused.” He leaned forward. “My parents pulled major strings to get you this internship, Eva. Why wouldn’t you want to do it anymore?”

Every muscle in my body tensed as I searched for the words I wanted to say. As I opened my mouth to speak, his phone pinged with a notification. Dismissing our conversation, he grabbed his phone and started typing, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Who is that?” I asked.

“Huh?” His steel-blue eyes flicked up to me and back to his phone before he set it down on the table again. “Oh, just Brent. He was asking what time I wanted to meet up later to study.”

I cocked a brow. “If that’s all he asked, then why do you look so happy right now when we’re in the middle of an argument?” Something nagged at my gut, telling me that he was lying to me, for that same wistful smile was the one he used to give me before everything turned sour between us.

A scowl marked his handsome face. “I was smiling because at least I can depend on Brent to follow through with what he says he’s going to do.”

His harsh words struck me like a slap to the face. I was trying so fucking hard to make things right between us again, but he was turning into a person I didn’t know anymore. Or maybe he had been this way the entire time, and I used to be more willing to take the bullshit. It killed me to think about it, but after everything he’d done the past few weeks, I was still hoping for his approval. I wanted him to tell me that everything was going to be okay and he would support me in whatever I decided to do.

I wanted him to tell me everything that Garth had told me.

“Connor, I know you’re upset, and I understand that your parents wanted to help me. But I can’t keep going on like this anymore. I don’t want to go to medical school.” It all came out in a rush, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest like I just ran a marathon in record time.

His face contorted with disgust, and it reminded me of how his mother saw me. Unworthy and incapable. It made me want to cry and slap him at the same time.

“You can’t be serious, Eva,” he seethed. “After all this time, you’re just going to throw it all away? The years of hard work and determination. Everything my parents and I have done for you. We are so close to the finish line, and now you want to quit on me? I can’t believe this.”

I couldn’t help the tears that fell down my cheeks. Connor was fuming. Patches of red crept up his neck as he glared at me. I knew he would be upset. It had been our plan from the beginning. We would go to college together and slowly build a life, following the footsteps his parents so carefully laid out for us. Until now, I didn’t realize that if I deviated from that path, it could mean that Connor and his parents would no longer accept me into their lives. Not that his parents had truly taken me in, but Connor had been willing to let all that go.

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