Page 27 of Dare to Fall

But as Drema grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the dance floor, I forced myself to put a smile on and let the weight of whatever was happening between Connor and me go. Being on constant alert with him was tiring, and I could feel myself slipping further into a state of desperation for some sense of normalcy. I just wanted everything to be okay again. Not just between Connor and me, but with my decision to pursue medical school. My mind felt so foggy from the stress of it all.

We were right on the edge of the crowd as Drema turned toward me. Her face fell when our eyes met.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked.

I nodded, no longer wanting to give the chaos in my mind any more attention.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile. “Let’s go.”

Without hesitating another moment, I led us through the pulsing bodies into the middle of the dance floor just as the DJ started playing a remix of “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd. Abel’s voice was a sensual caress, paired perfectly with the alcohol in my system. My hips swayed to the beat of the song, and with every verse that floated by, I could feel the tension on my heart ease more and more. Lights of every color swirled from the DJ booth like a kaleidoscope. It didn’t matter that all of us were strangers to one another. On the dance floor, we became something more as we all let go of our inhibitions, giving our minds a rest and our bodies a chance to be free, expressive.

And so we danced.

Song after song, Drema and I didn’t let up. We jumped up and down, screaming the words to our favorite songs, twirling each other around. At one point, I glanced over to our table and saw Caroline and Paulina taking more shots while scrolling through their phones. I waved Paulina over to join us, but she shook her head and kept scrolling. I wished she would have been out here with us, fun and carefree as she had once been. But I knew things were changing for her too, and I wasn’t sure where it would leave us.

Another worry for another night.

About six songs in, Drema motioned that she was going to the bar for a drink. I wasn’t ready to stop yet. As soon as she made her way off the floor, people closed in the space around me. All of us flowed together as we swayed and grooved to the music. I closed my eyes and smiled, because for the first time in a long time, I finally feltfree.

14

A few more songs flowed bywhile Drema stood timidly at the bar, waiting for someone to take her order. I knew I should have gone over there to help her, but I was high on endorphins and wasn’t ready to come down. Numbness crept up my ankles from the tips of my toes that were wedged into the corner of my heels. I didn’t care, though, because the rest of my mind, body, and soul was electrified. It had been months since we last came to a club and even longer since the last time I had danced.

Connor hated dancing, and when things were good with us, I only wanted to be close to him. That want had always left me stupidly drunk in the corner of whatever booth we reserved, but at least he had kissed me back then.

Somewhere in the haze of my mind, I told myself I would have to figure things out with him. We would have to make some kind of decision of how to move forward. I couldn’t stand for us to remain stagnant anymore. It was killing me, and I needed to stay focused to figure out how I could push through this final year of school. I was so close to realizing the dream of getting into medical school, even though a growing part of me wondered if it had ever beenmydream, or if I was simply following in the footsteps of the boy I loved.

Regardless, it was time for me to get my head on straight again.

As I stroked the sides of my body with both arms, raising them overhead, the group of people around me spread out. It wasn’t by a lot, but just enough to notice.

And that was when I felt him.

A trail of goosebumps rose on my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. I knew he was there, standing right behind me. The pulsing beat of the music was in sync with the racing of my heart. My arms dropped to my sides, and I debated turning to face him.

If it weren’t for the rum searing through my veins, I wasn’t sure I would have. But I whirled around, teetering on my tall heels. My eyes landed on a broad chest covered by the crisp white button down. As I trailed my gaze upward, a warmth settled deep within me, turning my core molten. Three buttons were left undone, revealing the golden color of his skin kissed with a thin layer of dark chest hair. My fingers twitched with the need to reach up and run my hand through it. Clenching my hands into fists, I refrained from the temptation.

It was almost imperceptible, but he shifted toward me, invading my space even more. That ashen ember within me burst into flames, and I felt my cheeks flush, betraying the cool exterior I was trying to hold. My eyes were glued to his chest. I knew if I looked up into his hazel eyes, I would come undone, right here on the dance floor, in front of everyone. But I couldn’t move. I couldn’t step away from him no matter how much the logical side of my mind begged me to. He was the source of my flame, and I didn’t want it to burn out.

Rough fingers scraped against my chin as he tilted my head back. The feel of his touch set every single nerve in my body on edge. That, paired with his enticing scent, sent my knees wobbling. Despite the raging words that flew through my mind, I leaned into his touch, taking in the swirl of the green and blue of his eyes. Every time I saw his eyes, they looked different. Ever changing. A mirror of my own emotions when he was near.

“Why are you dancing all alone?”

His gruff voice was my undoing. The pool of heat in my core shot down between my legs, leaving me wet with desire. Notes of cinnamon and honey floated off his tongue. The sweet scent of bourbon was one I knew well.

My mind was thick with lust, making it difficult to find the words he was looking for. He searched my eyes with such intention it made me waver. No one had ever looked at me the way he did—with such daring curiosity, like he was trying to figure out what made me tick.

“I’m not alone,” I breathed out. “My friend just went to the bar. She’ll be right back.”

The pad of his thumb brushed the bottom of my lip where his gaze fell to. It was wrong. All of it was so incredibly wrong. Connor was right upstairs. The man I loved, who I had spent the past five years of my life with, was on the rooftop bar just above me, and here I was, leaning into the affections of another man.

A man who drove me wild—mind, body, and soul. As I raked my eyes over the dark features of his face, I tried to remember the last time I had felt so alive andseen. I didn’t know a thing about Garth, except that he was a famous artist of some kind and had connections to my university. And that he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen—which was alluring and utterly annoying. Every time he showed up, I lost the ability to function. My body called to his with such conviction it sent my mind into a tailspin. The more I tried to resist it, the more my hands twitched to reach out and touch him.

His lips were set into a thin line, the pink flesh in stark contrast to the ebony of his beard. I shuttered as he leaned down and whispered into my ear, “Dance with me.”

I sucked in a breath as he pulled away, searching my face for an answer. I knew it wasn’t a good idea. That if I let myself feel the strength of his body against mine, I would be done for. Yet, I found myself leaning into him with a quiet mind and raging heart. There were countless reasons why I should have said no.

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