Page 9 of Christmas Hearts

"I…um. Can I confess something?"

"Sure. I would love to be your confidant."

"I've never been anywhere that's this fancy before. I'm a little intimidated."

He reaches out to grab my hand and squeezes it gently. Feeling the warmth of his hand against mine makes me shiver, and I start getting hot all over. If only a touch can get me this worked up, I don't know what it will be like when we have sex.

"Green Brooks isn't that much bigger than our town, but the owners of this place like to show off. They have several businesses all over town, and they're always top-notch luxury operations."

"Well, they've impressed me."

We order dinner and I'm relieved that Justin knows his wines. I know he'll only have a glass because he's driving, but I'm gulping it down like it’s water.

"Hey, take it easy. Wait for the food."

"I don't know why I'm so nervous tonight, Justin. It's not like it is our first date or anything."

"I'm nervous, too."

If he's nervous, he hides it well. He looks completely at ease with his surroundings. I'm the one that's having a fucking breakdown here.

"I feel like we need to start having more serious talks now. I hardly know anything about your life."

"I know. Why don't you start? Tell me why you went to college to become a librarian and why you came back to this small town."

I give him a warm smile. I can open up about myself. I've got nothing to hide. Some of my secrets are painful, though.

"I was always meant to be this town's librarian. From my teenage years, I visited and talked Mrs. Smithy's ears off about the books I was reading. Pretty similar to the way your daughter shares her reading adventures with me."

"Mrs. Smithy and I made a pact that she would retire once I finished my studies and she'd make every effort for me to be given the position. So I started officially volunteering there onSaturdays, and during the summer, I helped with the different events she would put on."

"Sounds like you had everything worked out."

"Yes, but even the best plans can fall apart. I almost didn't come back. I tried to get pregnant. I wanted to have a family. You were right about that when you said it the day we talked. It took a while, but when I did get pregnant, things didn't work out. I…I miscarried."

"I'm so sorry."

"When it happened two more times, our relationship fell apart. I, personally, couldn't deal with the loss. It took me about a year of healing before I started back at school and finished my Information Studies. This town felt like my ultimate refuge, and I embraced it all once I came back."

"Do you keep in touch with him?"

"With Ken? No. He didn't really understand how each miscarriage hurt me deeply. He thought it was no big deal. Just try again."

"Where is he now?"

Justin looks murderous, so I'm not telling him where Ken Morris is now.

"I'm okay now, Justin."

He gets up from his seat and pulls me up into his arms. He hugs me tightly for what seems like forever and places a kiss on the side of my head before letting me go.

"The story gets better, though. I came back and got the job as the head librarian. Mrs. Smithy retired and is now living her best life in Florida."

"What did the doctors say about your miscarriages?"

"No rhyme or reason. They just happened."

"But you're willing to try again?"

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