Page 12 of Christmas Wishes

"Yes. I won't make excuses for myself. Not anymore. I hurt a lot of people and the town ended up hating me. I was the biggest asshole that they've ever met."

"You sound regretful."

"I am. If I hadn't acted the way I did, I would have been able to spend more time with my mother. Even though she was bedridden when I left, she still had moments of consciousness."

"Yes, I remember. She told me she was glad I was your friend."

"She did?"

"Yes, but that was after grilling me about my life and work and intentions."

"Intentions?"

Her cheeks turn pink, making her look like a china doll. I love seeing her like this.

"She thought I might be seeking a husband and wanted to know if I was worthy."

"You are so worthy."

Her eyes grow wide as she looks at me. The words just come out of my mouth. Damn those filters.

"I'm sorry, but it's the truth."

She gets up and goes to the kitchen and fills a glass with water. I watch as she drinks it and wonder what is going through her mind. When she finishes she looks over to where I am sitting, but doesn't say a word. Not willing to let this moment go, I get up and join her behind the kitchen counter.

I get as close as I dare and lift her face towards my own with my finger. My hand floats back down to my side and I just absorb her beauty as if it was food for my soul.

"You've been nothing but kind and loyal to me, Lilah. You've cared for my mother in ways I have never been able to all the while taking care of your brother and running a business. You are more than worthy, sweetheart."

I want to put my hands on her shoulders but I'm afraid to touch her that way after she broke the contact between us earlier.

"What have you been doing the last two years?"

"I've been trying to make amends for what I did. I've been helping others doing pro bono legal work and mostly I've been stewing in my own guilt and remorse."

"So you regret what you did?"

"I do. I don't know if they'll forgive me, though."

"Just be yourself. Be the man I know and have grown to care about as well."

My heart starts beating faster at her words and my arms itch to hold her. I stand still, waiting for something to happen, when she goes up on her tiptoes and pulls me by the neck, then places a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"Goodnight, Gene."

I'm speechless. The innocent gesture shakes me and awakens other types of desires in my body. I go to my room and lie awake for several hours until sleep and exhaustion take me.

Chapter 5

Lilah

Ialmost kissed Gene last night. When I pulled him down to me I was fully prepared to kiss him on the lips, but I chickened out at the last moment. I'm very confused after his confessions and I don't know how to move forward.

He's a different man now. I can sense it. A man that I'm starting to want for my own. When he says I'm worthy, I worry he's got some ideal woman in mind that is not me. I mean how could I be worthy if my life is such a mess. A mess I have created all on my own.

I get up, shower and change and hurry to fix breakfast for all of us. Taking care of others makes me feel better about myselfand having Gene here is a special treat. Connor comes out of his room, backpack in tow, ready for school.

"Eat here or should I pack it to go?"

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