Page 47 of Suddenly Single

“Haha haha!” I couldn’t stop myself.

Mom’s lips twisted, and I noticed her eyes were definitely pink.

“Marjorie, I don’t know what else we can do.” Carter squeezed in the leather wingback chair next to me. “We have to get them drunk. And why are you dating someone who doesn’t drink?”

“I um, I don’t know.” Mom stood up, and I noticed her sway just a bit. Mom never ate Mary Jane’s edibles. “Well, we have no other option. We’ve got to get Thom drunk, and I guess that young girl too. Shit. Shit. Shit."

We got out of the chair, and I fell to my knees. "Ouch!" Carter helped me up, nearly falling over himself. When I opened the door leading to the living room, there wasn’t anyone there. They’d also cut the music. “Where the hell did they go?”

“They went downstairs to the theater.” Florida entered the room pushing a cart with a full punchbowl of margaritas on it. Suddenly, you could hear and feel beats coming from the floor. “Said something about karaoke.”

“Where’s the judge and that young woman, Florida?” Mom asked.

“They went downstairs, too.” Florida shook her head dramatically. “Mary Jane deserves to be horsewhipped.”

“Florida, she’s in her 70s, and her memory isn’t what it used to be.” Mom strolled into the hallway outside the living room, where we had a small elevator. We followed along, and when the doors slid open, Mom gestured for Florida to go first. It was installed after my father fell ill and couldn’t take the steps anymore. We all squeezed in, and when the elevator began its descent, Carter and I grabbed each other.

“Oh my God, I felt like I was going to fall over.” Mom giggled. “Jesus, I hate being stoned.”

Florida crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at all of us. “The good lord didn’t intend people to smoke that stuff.”

“We smoked nothing.” Mom huffed, and a goofy smile spread across her cheeks. “I hope Thom is okay.”

When the doors slid open, loud guitars and an off-key female voice screeched at us. The music grew in volume as we walked through the basement. When we got to the small theater, I opened the door and cringed.

“What an awful song.” I said “Why does Lila Brooke always have to sing Iron Butterfly?”

“It’s tragic.” Carter shook his head.

“It was popular when they were young.” Mom said, and Florida pushed the cart into the room with us on her heels.

Lila Brooke was on the tiny stage in front of the movie screen, screaming into the orange microphone. “In a gadda da vida, baby! Don’t you know…” The song abruptly ended, and Lila Brooke almost fell over. “Hey, who cut the sound?”

“It’s my turn.” Granny stumbled onto the stage and took the mike from her. While the two of them argued about whose turn it was, we saw the judge trying to make conversation with Lori Stallings. Her assistant was sitting on the floor rocking back and forth, her glazed eyes like saucers.

“Oh shit.” I pointed at her, and Florida swooped in and passed her a cup of booze. “I can’t believe we’re serving a potentially underage girl liquor in front of a judge.”

Mom grabbed a margarita and hurried over to Judge Gottwald. At first he tried to say no to the drink, but Mom was a very determined woman. He finally took the glass and drained half of it at once. Mom discreetly winked in our direction.

“I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.” Carter said, and his arm went around my waist. “You know, I used to like these wild parties your family throws, but this is too much.”

Sissy finally noticed us and strolled over. She’d kicked her shoes off somewhere, and her eyes were half-shut. “You were right, Carter. The Yates are so much fun! I just needed to relax.”

I snickered, and Carter bit his lip.

“Sissy!” Granny’s voice roared through the hidden speakers. “Get up on this fucking stage with me. I’ll be Kiki Dee and you sing Elton John’s part.” Mom’s eyes lit up, and she stumbled up to the stage. A few seconds later, they were destroying the song ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.’

“Looks like Granny made a new friend.” I drawled, and Carter rolled his eyes. “Hey, I think it’s a good thing. Your mother always felt left out, and now she’s having the time of her life.”

“I wonder how she’d feel about it if she knew the truth.” Carter sighed. “That the reason for her sudden acceptance is entirely because of Mary Jane accidentally drugging everybody. Oh, and I think the chocolate is finally wearing off.” Carter yawned.

“Yeah, I’m coming down too.” I said, then Carter pulled me in closer. “Oh wow.” I pointed at my Mom, who was making out with Judge Gottwald. “I’ve never seen Mom kiss anyone but my father. This feels very weird.”

“Well, at least the man’s been drinking. Now we don’t need to worry that he’ll find out the truth.” Carter said, then he pointed at the young girl, Mindy. She’d gotten to her feet and was drifting toward the stage. When she got there, Mindy tilted her head, and started singing along to the lyrics scrolling on the tiny television monitor. “And it looks like she’s cutting loose, too.”

Lori Stallings stumbled over to the girl. Then she put her arm around her waist and joined her in a sing-a-long. Apparently, everyone loved Elton John and Kiki Dee. Granny and Sissy were tripping all over the stage, acting out the lyrics. Florida stood in a corner, grimly surveying the party.

“Asher.” Carter spoke into my ear.

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