Page 45 of Suddenly Single

“It’s tempting.” I reluctantly sat up straight and looked Carter in the eye. “We have to go back in there and get them drunk. Or at least give them enough booze so the wedding planner doesn't realize it was the chocolates.” I stood up and pulled Carter to his feet. “Come on, let’s get Florida. She knows how to wrangle stoners and drunks better than any person on the planet.”

“They’re already messed up.” Florida put her hands on her hips and glared at us. “Why would you want them to be drunk, too?”

Carter snickered, and I couldn’t look him in the eye. If I did, I’d collapse into a ball of hysterical laughter. “It’s because of that woman. What’s her name again?”

“Lori Stallings.” Carter giggled. “If she finds out she was doped, she could take us to court. Hell, we could all be arrested.” Carter barked, then held his sides to contain his laughter.

“Boy, that’s not funny.” Florida rolled up a dish towel and snapped Carter in the arm with it. “What the hell was Mary Jane thinking?”

“She made a mistake, that’s all.” I took the towel from Florida, then spied the tray of chocolates on the counter behind her. It was tempting to eat another one, but not until we’d taken care of this mess. “Mary Jane said she brought the wrong batch of chocolates. The unlaced truffles are at her and Lila Brooke’s house.”

“Can you whip up a punch real quick?” Carter asked. “You know, something high octane. Oh! Margarita’s would be perfect. Then we can blame the mess on tequila.”

“Excellent idea.” I crossed the room to the pantry.

“Tequila ain’t in there.” Florida said, then she opened the freezer and pulled out a bottle. “But the mixers are. Bring me a punch bowl too, Asher.”

I found what she wanted and placed them on the granite island.

“Make it extra strong.” Carter waggled his eyebrows. “The girls won't know what hit them.”

When Carter and I strolled back to the living room, we froze in the doorway. Granny and Sissy were flipping through the fabric samples Lori brought, acting like the best of friends. Lila Brooke was staring deep into Mary Jane’s eyes, and I wondered if I should send them upstairs to one of the guest rooms. Our wedding planner was engrossed with whatever was on her tablet. It definitely wasn’t a makeup tutorial, since one of her painted-on eyebrows was smeared.

We strolled in, then Carter clapped his hands to get the ladies’ attention.

“I hope you’re having a wonderful time.” He bared his teeth. “Before we begin the wedding stuff, I want to propose a toast.”

Florida pushed a cart into the living room laden with a punch bowl and margarita glasses. She poured everyone a drink and passed them around.

“To my soon-to-be husband, Asher.” He threw his arm around me, and I almost fell down. “I love you more than, um, well, anything on the planet.”

“To Asher!” Everyone called out, and they all drained their drinks.

“Florida, would you mind refilling everyone’s cocktail?” I asked her, and she went around the room filling everyone’s cups.

“I feel funny.” Lori mumbled. “Maybe I shouldn’t have anymore.” Florida snatched the glass from her and filled it.

“Drink it.” Florida glared at the woman and handed her a full glass. “If you know what’s good for ya.”

Lori blinked, and her tablet clattered to the floor.

“Oh my stars!” Granny pointed at the tablet. Sissy gasped, and I picked it up to see what the problem was.

“Ooh, Carter.” I showed him the tablet, and he fell down on the sofa clutching his sides, laughing. Two naked men were in the middle of, well, doing things naked men do with each other.

“Give me that back!” Lori reached for it, and I let her have it. “I just wanted to see what you gay guys actually do in bed. You know, because I’m marrying you two.”

“Huh?” I tilted my head in her direction.

“So, which one of you is the man, and which one of you is the woman?” She giggled, then turned the tablet on its side and gazed at it with an odd look on her face.

“Neither.” Lila Brooke called out. “It’s two men, sweetie.”

“Oh.” Lori’s left eyebrow rose, which looked odd since her right brow was nearly gone. “Are all gay guys this um, well endowed?” She turned the tablet so everyone could see it. Sissy and Granny had the vapors. “Like, I’ve never been with a man who was, well, you know, so big.”

I winked at Carter, who winked back. “Carter is.”

Every woman gasped, all eyes glued to him. He smacked my ass and guffawed. “Don’t tell them that!”

---