Page 44 of Suddenly Single

“May I speak with you for a moment, Mary Jane?” I stood, and she blinked. “In private.”

I stalked into the kitchen. Florida was arranging finger foods on a platter. When Mary Jane crept in, I pointed at the tray of meats and cheeses. “Since everyone is about to get the munchies, I guess we’ll need all the food we can get.” I put my face in my hands and sighed. “Poor Mom. Why did you serve us edibles? Jesus, my mother has never done drugs before in her life, and now she wants me in drag for the fucking wedding!" My voice rose with each word.

Florida eyed Mary Jane. “You didn’t.”

“I’m sorry, it was an accident. Last night I made some for myself, and some for everybody else." She shrugged. "I must have picked up the wrong tray.” Her voice quivered with remorse. “Please, forgive me.”

Thudding beats came from the living room, and I heard feet racing down the hallway.

“Carter, your mother, she’s losing it.” Asher’s face was stark white. “She turned on the stereo, and her and Granny are arguing over whether I should wear the wedding gown, or you.”

“Oh dear.” Mary Jane reminded me of the maid Esmerelda from the old tv show Bewitched. You could tell she wanted to fade away into nothing.

Florida grabbed Mary Jane by the shoulders. “Jesus Christ, woman. What the hell have you done?”

"Oh dear!"

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. My shoulders sagged. Then Asher wrapped me in his arms and kissed my forehead. “Baby, it’s going to be alright. Just don’t tell your mother. She'll think it's the wine. I’m sure Mary Jane didn’t mean to do it, right?”

Mary Jane wailed pathetically, wringing her hands, then the three of us walked out of the kitchen in single file. When we got back to the living room, I almost fainted in disbelief.

“Sissy, you should come over more often.” Granny was saying to Mom. They were seated next to each other, apparently having quite the conversation. Lila Brooke snatched a truffle off the tray and stuffed it in her mouth. Her foot was tapping to the 60s rock music. Lori Stallings, on the other hand, was not handling things very well.

She was seated on the floor, an open makeup compact in hand. When she glanced up at us, an odd grin spread across her face.

“Are you okay, Lori?” Asher bent over to help her, but she just laughed.

“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.”

Chapter 26

Asher

“Let me help you up.” I reached a hand down to Lori. She grabbed it, but instead of getting to her feet, she pulled me down to the floor. I landed on my ass next to her. “Ouch!”

“Are you sure you’re gay?” The woman winked and licked her lips. “Because if I had my way, I’d lick you from your head to your toes.”

Carter cleared his throat, then reached down and pulled me to my feet. “Miss Stallings, trust me, Asher is extra gay. And if you flirt with him again, we’ll give you a demonstration to prove it.” He dragged me away from her.

“I’m not sure hiring her is a good idea.” I muttered. “She’s very unprofessional.”

“Lori is very stoned, and probably won’t remember any of this.” Carter whispered. “What are we going to do when she sobers up? Mary Jane drugged her. She could sue us, or worse."

“Oh, shit.” I giggled. The one piece of chocolate I’d eaten was kicking in, and I wanted more. I strolled over to the coffee table and reached down for another piece, but Carter stopped me.

“You’re a lawyer. We’ve got to keep our wits about us, and figure out what the hell we’re going to tell Lori.” Carter whispered, combing his hair back with his fingers. “Though another piece of chocolate might make things...” Florida swooped into the living room. “What are you doing?”

Florida snagged the tray off the table. “If you keep eating Satan’s candy, you’re going to screw things up worse than they already are.” She hissed and raced back to the kitchen.

“Damn.” Carter muttered, then we both slowly spun around, taking in the scenery. Sissy and Granny were laughing it up on the couch. Lila Brooke was fiddling with the stereo, and Mary Jane was nibbling on a piece of chocolate, a serene smile splitting her face. Lori Stallings had managed to get back in the chair and was attempting to apply lipstick. Bless her heart, but she couldn’t keep the bright red shade inside the lip lines. “She looks like a clown.” Carter snickered, and I giggled along with him.

“So, what the hell are we doing now?” I asked, then took Carter’s arm and steered him into the study and shut the door behind us. “You’re right, this is a lawsuit waiting to happen. How can we fix it?”

Carter sank into a leather armchair and laughed. “The only way to fix it is to get them drunk. Then we can blame it on the booze. Jesus, we’re all going to need rehab after tonight.”

I squeezed in next to him and laid my head on his shoulder. “I’m so dizzy,” I giggled. “Damn, Mary Jane must have put extra weed in that chocolate. I haven’t been this high since college.”

“We still need to work on the wedding.” Carter sighed. “Though I have to admit, it’s starting to be more trouble than it’s worth. But, we would definitely make a statement by marrying at CCV. The first same-sex wedding ever held there.” He kissed my cheek, and I snuggled in closer. “I love you so much, Asher. Can we just hide in here until the lunatics sober up and go home?”

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