Page 70 of The Sweetest Surrender

Chapter Twenty-Two

The evening had turned into night by the time Selena pulled into her driveway. She parked the car and sat back against the seat with a huff, reminiscing about the conversation between her and her parents.

“Selena, Walter and I have been made aware that the news of our divorce is affecting your sound mind.” Margaret had cleared her throat. “We both want to apologize for tossing this at you as if it wouldn’t affect your life.” Margaret glanced over at Walter who sat, sternly watching his only daughter.

When Walter spoke, his voice was calm and profound.

“Selena, I personally want to apologize for the way things happened a few weeks ago.” Walter pushed out a deep breath. “I’m not saying this to point fingers; however, when your mother presented me with divorce papers, I was stunned and angry; angrier then I’ve ever been in my life.” Walter slipped a hand down his face then leaned forward to rest his elbows on his thighs while his fingers intertwined.

“For a long time, I ignored our situation, but it only made things worse. That didn’t stop me from acting out, and that’s when I started seeing Amelia.”

At the mention of the woman’s name, Selena noticed her mother’s slight shift on the sofa. Apparently, Walter noticed it, too, because his eyes cut to her before coming quickly back to Selena.

“For the record, I broke things off with Amelia. Your mother and I have decided to try counseling before signing the papers. We’ve already had a few sessions.”

This time Selena shifted in her seat, but her glare remained focused.

“We’re doing this not only for us, but for you as well. We want you to know that you can come to us about anything you want to know, any fears, anger, or grief that you may be experiencing. Neither of us is asking you to pick a side. Neither of us wants you to think there will be some tug of war when it comes to you.”

“Ever,” Margaret agreed.

Selena bit down on her teeth as a tear threatened to slip down her face.

“Why did you want a divorce?”

The question was directed at Margaret. Margaret shifted and stared her daughter head-on. “For the last decade, I’ve been going through the motions, playing a role I felt was expected of me because that’s the woman I was. I love your father, but along the way, I lost my identity. I was his wife and your mother and that wasn’t enough for me. Unfortunately, I didn’t talk to your father about my musings, and it only suppressed what I felt and made it grow larger than life. I couldn’t remember what it was I loved to do. I couldn’t see any opportunity outside of being Walter’s wife, and it scared me to death and made me feel like I was missing out on a good part of my existence.”

Margaret sighed, and Walter patted her leg for encouragement. The gesture was small, but was the first sign of love that Selena’s parents had expressed in front of her since the announcement of their separation.

“When I couldn’t take it any longer, I went to see a lawyer. Even years after that initial meeting, I waited and second guessed myself. But I need more, baby. My decision had nothing to do with either of you not being enough for me, so let me say that before it crosses your mind. It was about me redefining myself. It was something I didn’t think I could do if I stayed in this marriage.”

“And now? What’s different?” Selena asked.

“Now, I know I shouldn’t have gone down this road alone. If I had sought help upfront about what I was feeling, Walter and I could’ve gotten help long ago.”

Selena exhaled, and her eyes skipped from her father to her mother.

“Mom, I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to hold something so serious inside. I know I’m your daughter, and you don’t want to burden me, but you could never be a liability. I would actually be honored if you came to me with a problem. To help my mother fix anything would give me indescribable joy because you’re always trying to do it yourself.”

A wave of happiness and sadness slipped over Margaret, and her face dropped as tears ran down her flushed cheeks. Selena left her spot in the chair, and Walter turned toward his wife. They all gathered around each other on the sofa and cried together. It was a welcomed relief for Selena to quench her soul with her family. Afterwards, they had dinner over a lighter conversation; sirloin steak with blue cheese compound butter offered with green beans and roasted fingerling potatoes. It came freshly prepared by a highly recommended chef.

“Hey,” Selena began, “earlier you said it was brought to your attention that your divorce was having an effect on my sound mind. If not you, then who made you aware?”

Margaret and Walter glanced at each other.

“Jordan,” they said together.

Selena shook her head and glanced through her rearview mirror. To hear both her parents admit Jordan was the one who brought them together was astonishing. It was the last thing she expected to hear. But what was funnier was the way in which he did it. Selena laughed with a slight shake of her head.

Tricking them both was something Selena would’ve done. Jordan had reached right in and taken a page out of her handbook. Even while they were apart, Jordan took care of her in every possible way.

“Duty calls me blind,but our connection is like soil intertwined in a vine. Because you were designed with me in mind.”

He’d reached out to her heart through poems and spoken to her spirit with his elaborate scheme. What the hell was she thinking pushing him away?

“Girrrrl, you ain’t never been this dumb,” Selena admitted to herself.

She opened the car door, shut it behind her, and moseyed up her sidewalk. As she got closer to her door, Selena paused.

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