Page 69 of Fever

Chapter Eighteen

Josiah

The yard erupted in celebration, and I slipped the diamond ring on Santana’s finger. It fit like I knew it would when I had it made for her that morning. With haste, I grabbed her neck with one hand and wrapped my arm around her waist with the other, drawing her in for a sealed kiss. It was different than all the others. In fact, it had lifted my soul and taken my heart with it. Seeing Santana’s tears was unexpected, but I didn’t know what I predicted would happen when I proposed. My folks came over and congratulated us, some saying they saw it coming and others giving money over for bets they’d made. But I was utterly transfixed on Santana. The way her body trembled against mine as she cried, the sincerity in her response. It was real and more wholehearted than I ever could’ve imagined. That’s when I knew; I’d made a mistake.

Where I was certain I loved Santana, this proposal was meant to be for show only. And by me not including her in on my plans, I might had mistakenly misled her. My heart sank as I thought about how she would feel when I revealed the truth behind closed doors. I’d never felt like a dumbass before, but right now that was putting it mildly. A plethora of curse words ran through my head, but I kept the smile on my face, showing no evidence of my distress. Desiree and Samiyah came over with beer.

“We don’t have champagne, but we still have a little bubbly.” They laughed and handed us both one. I must have taken mine down in one swig.

“I could use another,” I said, handing the empty bottle to Samiyah.

“Give the man another one,” she said.

Seconds ticked by before another beer was produced, and the hand that gave it over was that of my father’s. Swiftly, I relieved him of it, but he kept his hand outstretched.

“Congratulations, son. I’ve misjudged you in every way. Whatever you need, I’m taking care of it.” He turned to Santana. “Welcome to the family, Ms. Summers. It won’t be too long now before you’ll be a Rose.” He pulled Santana away from me to hold her in a tight embrace.

The seconds that ticked on went by in slow motion as I watched everyone celebrating, smiling, and some even crying tears of joy. My father might had felt like he misjudged me, but I had misjudged what this entire scenario would feel like. Now that I was here, I could barely maintain the emotional rollercoaster I was on.

“Congratulations, brother, if you ever need to talk, let me know.” Jonathon stood by my side with his hand extended for a shake, but I just stared down at it. “You’re okay, breathe, my man,” he said, mistaking my trance for shocked jubilation. I took down the rest of my beer and silently walked myself through the steps to fix what I’d done, and I dreaded it with every second that passed.

The ride over to Santana’s house was heavy. Behind her Volkswagen Beetle, I followed her as she dropped off Carla then headed to her home. I’d had several conversations with myself of how this would go. I was hoping for the best but expecting the worst. I sighed and ran a hand over my face. I could just be overreacting. It was possible Santana knew the proposal was meant for the others. But the closer we came to her place, the more dread settled over me as if my heart knew that wasn’t the case.

I turned on some music to try and dial down my cumbersome thoughts. It was a short reprieve because when my Infiniti rolled to a stop behind hers, and we strolled into the house hand in hand, there was a gigantic elephant in the room.

“Would you like something to drink?” Santana asked.

“I probably shouldn’t,” I responded.

“Okay…” Santana strolled to her sofa and stood idly next to it. “Would you like to sit down at least?”

She must have felt my awkwardness, and that made me feel terrible. We spoke at the same time.

“I want to ask you a question—”

“I need to tell you something—”

We both chuckled at our haste, but both bore the same troublesome face. I strolled up to her and pulled her in.

With my voice even, I asked, “Are you okay?”

Her hinted smirk gave me little relief.

“I’m just a little shocked I believe.” Santana dropped her eyes for a second then looked back to me. “Am I to believe that this is real? And before you answer,” she said, “this is not me saying our relationship is fake. I…”

I kissed her forehead then looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry,” I said.

The brightness in her eyes dimmed, but she didn’t respond.

I continued my apology. “I shouldn’t have done it that way.”

“Then, why did you?” she asked, her voice a little testy.

“At the time, it made sense to do it without you knowing. I wanted your response to appear sincere. It wasn’t until after the fact that I realized I shouldn’t have.”

Santana let out a breath and pushed away from me.

“I need to sit down,” she said.

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